Bionic Commando Rearmed
GRIN/Capcom | XBLA/PSN/PC | Swingin'
Editor's note: The frickin' writers picked "nothing" as this week's top title, which is why they have to sit at the kids table again. Bionic Commando Rearmed is simply the best remake of a classic game since Mega Man Powered Up. Possibly better! GRIN definitely gets what made the NES game great and has done a damn spiffin' job of updating it for today's ADHD-riddled gametards. Buy it or you are no longer allowed to read this site. I'll know.

Madden NFL 2009
EA Tiburon | Everything except PC | Yearly Footballin'
I've already written more about this game than I ever wanted to -- that's a senseless plug, by the way -- but the tl;dr version is that it's a football game (an American football game, not that wacky secret soccer kind) and it's gonna sell.

Bangai O Spirits
Treasure | Nintendo DS | Shooting. Lots of shooting
Watching the videos in Ray's preview makes me really afraid of this game, because it looks like there's a lot going on. Since this is a Treasure game, that is undoubtedly an incredibly accurate assumption. The preview was fairly positive, though, so if you like these games I'm guessing you've already got it on preorder. Ya little scamp.

XBLA: Geometry Wars
Microsoft | Xbox 360 | Geometricide
In this edition of "What Sarc forgot to mention last week," I offer you Geometry Wars 2, a newly four-player update to the breakout XBLA hit from those shaky launch days of yore. There are plenty of new modes to play and ample revenge to wreak upon your memories of high school geometry, though it's still offline-only.

WiiWare: Strong Bad Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner
Telltale Games | Wii | Fhqwhgads
Do I even need to talk this one up? It's Strong Bad. The game. YOUR HEAD ASPLODE.

VC: Break In
Naxat Soft | TG-16 via Wii | Pool
With that title I was hoping for a deconstruction of Breakout, but no. It's pool. And not new pool, either; it's old pool, from 1989. Bleagh.

VC: Star Parodier
Hudson Soft | PC Engine via Wii via Japan | Shmup parody
The world needs more genre parodies, is what I say. This one sends up the shoot-em-up style, specifically Star Soldier, with cartoonish graphics and goofy ships, like a PC Engine console and, uh, Bomberman himself.