Games | Weekly Game Releases | Week of November 6th, 2007: The games keep coming. How can any one person realistically play all of them? There's just no way. So choose, but choose wisely. Picking the wrong game will ensure your sudden death by rapid corpsification, like that guy in "The Last Crusade."


List compiled by reibeatall and Sarcasmorator | Posted November 5th, 2007


Game of the week | Call of Duty 4


At long, long last, a popular World War II first-person shooter breaks ranks with its brethren to tackle an era other than the 1940s! Could Medal of Honor be next? Probably not.

Anyway, this one looks pretty much golden, with a class system similar to the Battlefield series and the option to create your own class later on, with perks, as well as a wide array of game modes. Like multiplayer shooters used to have. Or like Halo 3 does. (Note: Purchasing the game at Circuit City this week will net you a free copy of Call of Duty 3 and a poster, for those interested. Thanks, Poetfox!)


Also appearing in stores


Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
It doesn't seem to be much of a looker, but the second Fire Emblem game on U.S. consoles looks like it'll retain the harsh, unforgiving strategy gameplay the series is known for. It plays a bit like Final Fantasy Tactics and other TRPGs, but here characters have set classes... and if they die, they're dead for good. Just like it works in real life, except with way spikier hair.


Mario and Sonic at the (Special) Olympic Games
Near a decade ago now, it seemed weird when Sega pulled out of the hardware business. Weirder still when the company started revisiting its classic properties primarily for Nintendo systems. Maximum weird was thought to have been reached when Sonic games started showing up on the GameCube. But now Sonic, and Mario, together in the same game? Set at the Olympics? That's some effed up shizzle right there. The weirdness barrier has been broken and the laws of physics may never be the same. Oh, the game itself? Your usual sports-themed waggle-controlled minigames, of course.


BladeStorm: The Hundred Years' War
Koei puts its touch on a war between the French and the English (no weird demons or undead in this version, unlike Jeanne D'Arc, though). Bladestorm is a strategy game in which you can take direct control of entire units. If you're not a fan of Koei's idiosyncratic brand, this might be one to pass up. If, on the other hand, their layered, compulsive niche this is your bread-'n'-butter, then tell your parents: "Buy me Bladestorm, or go to hell!!!"


Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro Am
Someday, people will learn to stop making games out of a cartoon whose content doesn't translate well into other media... especially when it shouldn't have worked in its own medium to begin with. Or rather: someday people will learn to stop buying these games, at which point they will cease to be profitable and publishers will stop funding them. Let us hope that ATHF:ZNPA marks the arrival of that day! I like the Aqua Teens, but I sure don't want to play a game starring them. Do you? Huh? DO YOU?


LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga
This mashup of LEGO Star Wars and LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy includes all the characters and levels from those games, plus some extras for each. Which is totally awesome, as long as you didn't shell out the M$ Point$ for the LEGO Star Wars prequel characters when you bought the Xbox 360 version of The Original Trilogy. In that case you probably feel cheated! Like I do.

Fun trivia: "DLC" actually stands for "Don't Like our Customers."


BlackSite: Area 51
No David Duchovny or Marilyn Manson to be found in this Area 51 game, no sir. Just alien monsters that look like discarded Strogg designs along with, uh, sandworms and stuff. And squad tactics! The game is probably decent, but how can it hope to stand in the face of the BioShock-Halo 3-Orange Box trifecta?


Silent Hill: 0rigins
No, this isn't a remake. Rather, Silent Hill 0rigins is a prequel to the Silent Hill franchise. After some middling comments about the original version of the game, Konami pushed its release date back and rebuilt Origins more or less from the ground up. By all accounts, it's helped tremendously. But a spooky game on a PSP? Could this game be better on the PS2, or does Konami have the first truly scary PSP game on their hands? (Let's ignore WWE Smackdown's terrifying loading times for a moment.)


Scene-It? Lights, Camera, Action
It's ok if you don't know what Scene-It is. I'm the target audience for this, and I only found when customers began asking me for it. Scene-It!'s a really fun trivia game that focuses on movies; some of the questions actually show scenes from the movie, and you have to guess what movie it's from. Now, Microsoft's really trying to get their "family friendly" image for their console up, so what better way than to make a trivia game for it? Seriously, the game's fun. It's perfect for old people parties that some of you crusty old people sometimes do. Me, I'm still young, so take that! Time to cruise the Sonic.


My Coach Series
Before we explain these, let us say this: Ubisoft knows what they're doing. With the rise of the DS and casual gaming, they've totally revamped their game development. Sure, we'll get Assassin's Creed and Splinter Cell, but they know where the real money is. It started last year with the Petz series and its ridiculous sales (something in the neighborhood of 3.5 million copies). More recently they unleashed Imagine. Now it's the My Coach Series.

The My Coach games seem at first glance like another "brain boosting" series, but in fact that's only true of the first game, My Word Coach. And that's not even really a brain-boosting game; it actually focuses on the use of words and their definitions. Then, they've got a new "game" concept of language tutorials -- new for America, that is, but totally stolen from Japan where it's old and crusty -- in My Spanish Coach and My French Coach. At first, I thought it was only a brief "Yo quiero Taco Bell" type of game, but Ubisoft claims "Playing My Spanish Coach for 15 to 20 minutes a day is all you need to become fluent in Spanish." We'll see about that, senior. Er, seņor.


Cabela's Big Game Hunter
Don't get this confused with all the other Cabela's Big Game Hunter games. This one's the only official Big Game Hunter of this year! So get ready to Git-R-Done with Billy Bob and Joe-Dean as you take on lions, rams, and grizzlies (ohh my!). Be sure to bring your own beer, because nothing's better than fake shooting animals for sport than gettin' buzzed while you do it. We recommend Miller High Life, the champagne of beers -- it goes great with pork rinds, the caviar of deep-fried animal skin.


Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker
Take what you know of Pokémon and mate it with Dragon Quest, and you get Dragon Quest Monsters. As a young man (Joker, who is reputed to be both a smoker and a midnight toker), you travel the countryside (inherited from both games), capture monsters (Pokémon), and control them in a three-critter party, Dragon Quest style (Dragon Quest). There's probably some coming-of-age story about saving the world by taking down an evil organization/empire/army (every RPG ever) thrown in there too.


Weekly WTF? | Build-A-Bear Workshop


I can understand the allure of the Build-A-Bear chain. How cool is it to make your own teddy bear? Hell, at this point, it's not even limited to bears. They have elephants, turtles, horses, and so much more. You can also dress them up how you want, and you get a birth certificate for your bear. Then you can snuggle up with it whenever you get scared, or when you just want a buddy. We recommend doing neither of those things with your Nintendo DS or your game cart. That cold, hard plastic just doesn't snuggle up with you as well as a fuzzy wuzzy teddy bear.

Next week is going to kill us. We've got about a thousand games coming out next week, and the game of the week is going to be tough. If somebody that had made any of the games that come out next week wishes to bribe the kind staff of this lovely website, that would be acceptable.


Talk about how crappy these games are!