I finally had a chance to play through Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes. Typical to my tendency to play stealth utterly meticulously, my play time for the infamously brief main mission was about two hours, while everyone else is clocking in at 80-90 minutes – but, I had zero alerts and zero kills, which is how it’s done. I have some minor quibbles with the game’s design (and some heavier concerns about its writing), but it was solid overall. Still, the one thing that made me happiest is that Hideo Kojima is still basically just writing the world’s most extended G.I. Joe fan fiction.

Spoilers ahead, I guess:

This time, we have the creator’s favored character, Snake, being horribly maimed in an explosive mid-air helicopter collision as he attempts to protect a woman. Just like Snake-Eyes!

Yeah. I think my all-time dream interview would be to get both Larry Hama and Hideo Kojima to sit down to talk to me at the same time. They’d probably just be confused, but I’d be entertained.