I spotted this warning sign on a column in Shinjuku-eki last night and it set my mind to racing, trying to figure out the exact message the bulletin means to convey. I mean, I could ask someone to help me read the kanji I don’t understand, but as a former graphic designer I still believe in visual communication. The image alone should be enough. So.
“Parents: Please be alert for strange men who will try to lure your children to their deaths by snatching their hats and dangling them over the third rail with a Nintendo Ultra Hand.”
Alternate interpretations are welcome.
線路に物を落された方は駅社員にお申し出下さい。
“Honorable dudes who have dropped something on the tracks, please speak to a station employee.”
Oh man, that emergency train stop button is just begging for you to push it…
“Sgt. Pepper will lead children on a fantastic, hat-snatching adventure!”
“WARNING: Douchebag station employee and little girl-friend will snatch your hat”
“If you drop your fancy hat please ask Penny and her Uncle Gadget for assistance.”
Yes. I am pretty sure this is it.
Bravo!
‘Circus performance every two hours. Come watch this death defying balancing act!’
It is amusing the possible implications, but I immediately saw it as “If you drop something off the platform,seek an employee to get it for you with the appropriate tools.” or “Don’t be an idiot, ask us for help. Don’t jump onto the tracks to grab your lost junk!”
Pfft.
I knew it was something about grabbing your junk.
“Hatris Zone”.
Senrou ni mono wo otosareta kata wa ekishain ni omooshide kudasai.
“Hey, check out what happens when I hold this here”
“Hey pigtails! This hat’s all that’s left of your mom after I used my bionic arm to shove her to her death.”
Hold onto your hats kids because there wont always be a nice man to get it for you. You just have to look for the hidden/subliminal message that life as you get older is cruel and unfair.
What I’m wondering is what the sign below it is referencing that happened in the year 1913.
That’s when the school that ad is for was founded.
It’s clearly a promo poster for the Japanese-localized version of Limbo.
The Bionic Commando has fallen on hard times and is forced to work in a train station.
At level 7-2, Umihara meets a man who gives her a new type of fishing pole.
When the last of the World Heroes money dried up, Brocken took a job at the local aquarium. Gently placing giant snails in their tanks might not be glamorous work, but it kept him in scotch and cigarettes.