Nintendo’s lucky break?

So you think Metroid Other M is sexist for the way it reduces the formerly stoic and above all self-reliant Samus Aran to being the petulant, feeble, girl-child subordinate to a squad of manly men? Well, good news, everyone! Duke Nukem Forever actually exists, it’s playable, and it’s a potent reminder to all us emotionally fragile Metroid fans of just what it really means to be sexist.

Shortly after playing this demo, my friend the yeti and I killed and ate a tsuchinoko.
This game is really weird for me, because I feel like I should be offended by its crassness, but I just can’t get worked up about it. That’s not to say I thought the strippers and oral sex and the kicking of a field goal with the bad guy’s brain were awesome, but somehow DNF failed to activate my moral outrage center. Maybe I was just numb from the shock of seeing the stupid thing in action after all these years.

Also, I just noticed that you can’t spell “sexist” without “e-x-i-s-t.” This means something. This is important. (STAGE DIRECTIONS: Parish wanders off to boil up a massive pile of mashed potatoes)

19 thoughts on “Nintendo’s lucky break?

  1. I assumed that that line was just for you to stand there waiting for a while and when you get to the front there’s no actual game…

  2. I fail to see how anyone’s tender sensibilities should be offended, either. Duke is like the American male version of Dante from DMC (or Dante is the Japanese Duke Nukem…who is the blonde video game version of Ash from Evil Dead…whatever) as far as over-the-top machismo, much like Bayonetta is over-the-top femininity. Duke’s physique is about as realistic as Bayonetta’s Barbie-doll-length legs.

  3. Just a minor nitpick: there is no femininity in Bayonetta. It’s just as testosterone addled as DMC. You just play as a girl is all.

    What’s really weird to me (Minor Nitpick transforms into Vague Impression!) is how much more annoyed I was by Persona 3 Portable’s warped idea of “What Girls Want” than anything to do with Bayonetta. It’s weird because the former is obviously aiming to appeal to girls, but I felt like the latter was actually trying to alienate me.

    Anyway, have fun talking about the Game That Should Not Be, guys.

  4. Thank you for the UHF reference.

    I can’t remember where I read this comment but it summed it up perfectly for me.

    ‘I’m not sure I can live in a post DNF world.’

  5. Looking at Duke Nukem today, a combination of remembering his one-liners from Time to Kill and watching way too many Homestar Runner cartoons really makes me want a Crack Stuntman game for some reason…..maybe because they’re both caricatures of G.I. Joe’s Duke. “But I’m still get paid, right?”

    Anyway, while I doubt it’ll be as awesome as some other greatly delayed games, I definitely wanna see how this turns out.

  6. As long as Parish doesn’t wake up in the shower and/or married to Terri Garr, he should be okay.

    Anyway, I have a hard time getting worked up about Duke Nukem’s sexism because it’s such a fucking irrelevant fossil. It’s the videogame equivalent to a Monika Lewinski joke or a shitty Cinemax skin-flick from 1987.

  7. In the initial area of the demo, Duke and these other guys kill a big alien (in a football stadium…I think it’s a call back to the end of DukeNukem 3D) and Duke scores a field goal with the alien’s brain. Which is just what it sounds like. :P

  8. So…also, do that many people *really* feel like Other M is sexist? I’ve been trying to figure it out, but I guess I don’t get it. Maybe I haven’t played long enough or something.

  9. Hahaha. Am I weird for thinking this game might be really fun? I’m thinking the videogame equivalent of a Robert Rodriguez flick. It’s sleazy, exploitative and probably crazy offensive but it’s kind of charming.

    I also loved Bayonetta. Maybe I’m a sick person.

  10. Something I’ve noticed is the backlash to the Other M criticism. Ryan Scott on Geekbox said something to the effect of “of course they made her act feminine: she’s a woman.” Giant Bombcast said something similar if memory serves correct, to the extent of “it would be more sexist if they made her act like a man.”

    I haven’t played Other M so I don’t want to bring my own opinions in here too much, which is tough because I’m temped to shout things like “a character can be a perfectly believable woman without fragility,” but I won’t, because I haven’t played the game. I can say that I always pictured Samus having a personality akin to Zoe from Firefly. I can’t imagine criticizing her character as acting like a man with breasts, and she certainly wasn’t meek or fragile.

  11. You’re not outraged over Duke Nukem Forever because it’s awesome.

    @The 9th Sage: No, rational people don’t find other M sexist. Only mental midgets, or reviewers desperate for attention. She could vaporize the entire ship if she wanted to (not hyperbole, heh), and all of the crew members had a great deal of respect for her–and vice versa.

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