I had no idea what a Tropius was until about 12 hours ago, when one randomly appeared on my Pokéwalker. Now I’ve caught a few of them, and I’m pretty sure it may be the entire reason God invented videogames. (Personally, I consider the story of how He appeared to Ralph Baer in a burning vacuum tube to be canon rather than apocrypha.)
Why is Tropius great? Well, let’s see. It’s a brontosaurus, so that’s nice. But it’s also a palm tree. Its fronds form wings, which means it is a flying brontosaurus. As brontos were herbivorous dinosaurs, this makes Tropius a cannibal. And reading its profile, I realize its beard is actually made of bananas that began to sprout there because it like bananas so much that it ate them all them time and its body eventually started just growing them itself. This of course makes no damn sense, but that just lends to its brilliance. It’s a self-cannibalizing flying dinosaur, and that is fantastic. This is exactly the sort of bizarre foolishness that makes Pokémon worth bothering with in the first place.
Anyway, Tropius goes to the breeding farm so I can create a level one baby Tropius to import into my copy of Pokémon White, whenever that arrives here. The thing that really bugs me about these games — well, one of the things that bugs me — is that the really fun and interesting creatures don’t show up until pretty late in the adventure, at which point it’s far too much trouble to make them viable party members. So I’m rounding up a team of creatures more interesting than the ones the games want me to use in proper sequence — such as Tropius, Spoink, and other assorted oddballs that apparently no one every actually uses — so I can import them as early as possible and play the next chapter of the series my own dang way.
From everything I’ve read, Tropius is kind of worthless in the games, yeah. But by crackie, it’s a flying palm tree dinosaur that eats its own banana beard, and I will find a way to make it a viable team member. The heck with you min-maxers and you balance-obsessed trainers alike; this is how these games are meant to be played.