I’ve always wondered what the phrase “slow as Christmas” is supposed to mean, but now I know — I’m staying at my grandparents’ place for Christmas, and the Internet service appears to be wi-fi router linked to a dial-up modem connection.
It’s great to be here, though. It certainly beats the sketchy Dallas motel we stayed at last night, with its interior design plucked straight from the black heart of 1972:
By a crazy coincidence, 1972 is also the last time the room appears to have been cleaned:
Mmm, giant cobwebs.
But anyway, Merry Christmas to all. May your holiday be cobweb-free. And if you don’t celebrate Christmas either…well, Merry Christmas regardless, and I also hope you have a damn fine pagan or religious celebration of your choosing. And if you don’t celebrate anything, enjoy your day off! And if you don’t have the day off, well, sorry that everyone else is so chipper and annoying.