Ahh, Christmas time. In two weeks, hordes of people will descend upon the poor individuals forced to work retail to make ends meet, and those poor souls’ lives will be transfigured into a pure living hell. Did you know that some insane number (like, fifty-seventy percent, I am so not making that up) of retail revenue for the entire year is earned during the months of November and December? With such a shopping frenzy going down, its little wonder that publishers decide to release their best games during this period. Which really sucks for those of us playing rather than earning. I know it’s good business to release your title when people are buying, but why not wait until, say, the summer for some of those? Not a year goes by without a huge chunk of empty release schedules between the months of April and June.
It doesn’t really matter, I suppose. I’m just pissed that all these good games are coming out and I don’t have the time to play them right now. Here’s what’s coming out this week, that I won’t be playing until next year.
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts: I really liked the original Banjo game, the one for N64. Yeah, I know it was just a retarded collect-a-thon in the shadow of Mario 64, but I beat it with 100% when it first came out. I haven’t played the second one, and I hear that this one’s got that collect-a-thon feel to it except that you’re making vehicles.
Call of Duty: World at War: It’s Call of Duty 4, but set in dubya dubya two rather than in the near future. Seriously, it plays exactly the same. I guess Ron Perlman was right!
Mirror’s Edge: Easily the most innovative game to see release this week, Mirror’s Edge is a first-person parkour game set in the future. If it doesn’t make you sick, you’ll probably like it. If it does make you sick, you’re probably going to keep playing it anyway, because it’s just that cool.
Eternal Poison: Ever want to play a Strategy RPG with five intertwining stories? Now you can! It’s like SaGa Frontier with tactics, except probably less obtuse. I really wish I had the time to get into this game, because it looks like it could be fairly interesting.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels: George Lucas fails again at an easy, obvious victory. When everybody said they wanted a lightsaber fighting game for the Wii, this is not what we wanted. This game doesn’t use 1:1 motion, just the same mindless flailing around that every other Wii fighting game includes. Sigh.
WWE Smackdown Vs Raw 2009: Ohh you didn’t know? Your ass better caaaaaaaalllll somebody! [This author has been sacked; GameSpite now hiring for a weekly columnist position — ed.] If this game doesn’t feature the New Age Outlaws, I don’t want anything to do with it. But I’m going to take an educated guess and say that they haven’t switched up too much in the last year for this title. This reminds me, anybody know what happened to that rumor that WcW vs NWO Revenge, or one of the N64 WWF games was being remade for WiiWare? Because that would be boss.