[[image:eirikr.jpg:Cuter than the real thing?:center:]]
My name is Eric Jonathan Smith, or “Eirikr” around these parts and others. Eirikr is simply the original Norse form of the name Eric and as a simple Google search will prove, I’ve built quite a character for myself even if I don’t quite remember doing any of it. It can be fun — in the “anything is better than listening to a class lecture” sense of the word — to try and piece together an adventure of your own based on your parallel internet self. Such is the (very abridged) tale of Eirikr Interwebsson:
From the bountiful pool of Muses cast high in the heavens, I received divine revelation as to what my goals in life would be. These goals included a diverse range of topics such as “raise[ing] money” and “donations.” It was not revealed to me exactly how much I needed to raise and donate, so I just bartered my grandfather for a quarter and gave it to my cat. My fair and balanced deeds boiled the wrath of Bill O’Reilly who proceeded to slander me in graphic detail. As a result, I boycotted FOX until further notice (caution: it’s a MySpace page) but it was too late: I was already crushed beneath the conservative amounts of pressure in the No Spin Zone. Because of my great donations to the Earth, however, I was reincarnated as a rottweiler and apparently have “the most expressive face” and am “such a joy to always have around.”
Yeah, it’s a pretty lousy story, for sure, but such is your control over fate! I guess that’s why I’m here, then: to better the reputation of Eirikrs everywhere with ample talk and analysis of gaming, game music, toys, and schlong demons. Even better when it’s all four at once! Suck it, Eiríkr rauði.