Bionic Commando rehashed

A bunch of people have been asking for the full text of the Bionic Commando FAQfic (I just made up that term! Because I’m awesome) from which I read excerpts on yesterday’s Retronauts. Silly humans! It’s been here all along. I added better formatting this morning, though. Just for you.

But don’t expect full text. I wrote up Area One and the game equipment one day long ago. Then, the next day, I looked at my life and realized how it was being squandered on nonsense and shut down the entire site in despair. Sadly, that moment of clarity was eventually forgotten, which is why you’re reading this now, but needless to say I’ve never quite gotten around to writing up the rest of the game. Still, what’s there is interesting to read. Consider it a small window into an alternate reality where life didn’t suffocate the joy and ambition out of me and I went on to become a real writer.

Also, courtesy of Siliconera, Mega Man E-tank energy drinks. So. Awesome.

I don’t even like energy drinks! But I will be enjoying several of these at TGS, I have no doubt. Well, maybe “enjoying” is the wrong word. “Forcing myself to down them through a grimace of agony out of dutiful nerddom,” I guess.

11 thoughts on “Bionic Commando rehashed

  1. I second that. Hopefully they’ll find there way to market at least to the point where I can import one. For novelty’s sake, of course.

  2. I’m buying one of these. And I for one actually like energy drinks. I’m a caffeine fiend and coffee sucks.

  3. The second I saw this in the Mega Man 9 thread on the forum, I needed to have it. Parish should buy a bunch in Tokyo and make them Gamespite subscriber bonuses.

  4. I think they missed the branding boat here. They could have released several drinks in a series. Each flavor based on a different boss.

    Still, that drink is pretty genius.

  5. Like with actual in-game E-Tanks (and, uh my Final Fantasy XII Potion) I’ll save it till I desperately need to use it.

    Then do everything in my power to avoid getting in such situation.

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