Finally! Issue 9 is underway, now that I’m past my three-week gauntlet of travel and trade events. Dear everyone in charge of scheduling these shows: I hate you so much. Especially you E3 guys — seriously, you’ve dropped the ball so bad. So, so bad. This week’s theme appears to be tiny girls and violence.
Nintendo 64: The Wander Years
Technically this Nintendo 64 retrospective doesn’t fit the theme, but I’ll allow it given that the system had all the stamina of a tiny girl in a boxing match against a heavyweight champ. “Wander Years” is not a typo; it’s an acknowledgement that the N64’s lifetime was filled not with amazing things (at least not after the first month or so) but with aimless itinerance.
I think Drill Dozer might actually win some sort of prize for having the best gameplay relative to the worst character designs. How that freakish little girl Jill came from the people responsible for 490 infinitely adorable Pokémon (and, uh, Mr. Mime) is beyond my ken. However, the action was exceptional, and Kishi duly hagiographizes it. (That is not a real word.)
Super Puyo Puyo Tsuu Remix
Finally, wumpwoast confesses his weird obsession with shouting at tiny girls with rather blue language in this shocking exposé on the Satan-battling wonders of the second Puyo Puyo game. Remember when you could actually keep track of all the versions of Puyo Puyo, except not really because none of them were called Puyo Puyo? Yeah, me neither.