¡Ai! Mutantes!

A few more of those laughable old “Mutants” cards. Now featuring 67% mutants by volume!

  • After the Ronald-esque Rambozo from last time, Mutogrimace would suggest that my beta version self found tremendous humor in subverting McDonald’s iconography. The tiny fleeing person and random objects embedded in his flesh presage Akira! Or not.
  • Alien Commando is, uh, I think a face that I copied from an issue of Mad magazine, placed atop a badly-drawn soldier. I dunno.
  • And finally, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtleneck suggests an alternate reality where Eastman and Laird’s creation remained the exclusive provenance of the underground comics scene, discussed with great sincerity by pencil-thin, latte-sipping European intellectuals in turtlenecks. (But much like Gandhi in legendary film Gandhi II: No More Mr. Passive Resistance, they still knew how to party, as evidenced by the continued presence of the Party Wagon van.)

Right. So anyway, I’ve managed to continue pummeling myself on the exercise bike for five days now, steadily building from my feeble start to something resembling an actual routine. More important, I’ve survived the first couple of days of my body telling me that I’m a terrible, awful person and moved into the “vaguely starting to look forward to the pain” phase. I’m also at that point where my atrophied muscles actually feel weaker than they did before I started punishing them, which in my experience is a sign that they’re about to man up and get with with the program. So that’s good. It would be even better if the weather here weren’t hovering in the 90s, which is absolutely not typical of summer in San Francisco and, combined with the fact that residences here almost universally lack air conditioning, has made my health efforts a trial by fire. Or at least by air that feels like it’s burning.

18 thoughts on “¡Ai! Mutantes!

  1. The face of Alf, copied from Mad. I learned a lot about cartooning by imitating Mort Drucker. But I never traced!

  2. I’m no expert/doctor, but I think the symptoms you describe mean you have fibromyalgia, a totally real thing that my spell check didn’t just refute in the least.

  3. Mutogrimace shines with the light of a thousand hamburgers… or something. All that mass had to come from somewhere

  4. Good for you, Jeremy. I too am trying to get back into an exercise routine and the first week is definitely the hardest part. After that, everything sort of falls into place. This California heat is a killer, though. 101 outside right now. Gah.

  5. As soon as you start to get that natural body high from running you’ll be fine. After I graduated from high school I spent about two months doing nothing but drinking and smoking pot. Needless to say, I was a fatty. And it took me a while to get back in shape. But after those first couple shitty weeks your body starts to respond more positively than negatively. Its a “runner’s high” and it feels great once it finally kicks in.

    Just keep it up. Good luck.

  6. As someone who is prone to drink and smoke on occasion, in addition to exercising, I have noticed that “watching what you eat” can make a tremendous difference. Avoiding High Fructose Corn Syrup seems to work wonders. It is not solely HFCS that I blame, but by ditching it, you tend to consume less sugary foods and unnatural ingredients. I’m about 5’8″, and I peaked around 240lbs when I was 19/20. By the time I turned 21 I was getting below 190, and by 22 I was sitting in the low 170s. It’s almost my 23rd birthday and I seemed to have settled at 180, even with consuming some less than wholesome foods. If you can stick with it, it only gets easier. Best of luck.

  7. Speaking of Gandhi II, with the Age of Conan all over the place, someone’s gotta do a machinimaof Conan the Librarian!

    oh, and Moran? Nothing can kill the Mutogrimace.

  8. Jeremy, you’ll be the next Bill Griffith! Or maybe you already were.

    As for exercise, I really hope the next Zelda on Wii extensively requires the Balance Board for game input. I got the idea when doing the jogging minigame in Wii Fit, and it felt so much like running across Hyrule Field. And much of the Twilight Princess team worked on Wii Fit.

  9. I’m with you in that pain, except I have youth on my side. =] I’ve heard about the heat in San Francisco, it was always cold when I lived there…

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