10,000-foot fun fair

I’ve just completed Day Two of Operation: Stop Being Such a Flabby Sack of Crap. Hooray! I’m dying. I’d like to thank my exercise bike for being my sweat- and suffering-inducing tormentor. Two days down, the rest of my life to go.

I thought people were lying when they said that your body magically becomes fat at age 30, but no! Since I hit that grim number, I’ve steadily thickened. It probably doesn’t help that right around the time I turned 30 I started dating a girl whose eating habits were the opposite of mine (I prefer a solid lunch and a light dinner, she prefers to eat her large meal later in the day) and moved away from Nob Hill and thus no longer walk a mile downhill to work every day. I’ve been trying to eat carefully lately, but to no real avail. Meanwhile, I ate like a pig in Japan but lost quite a bit of weight since I was walking several miles a day. Thus I realize the indubitable importance of exercise and must sadly bid my sedentary life farewell.

Notice the distinct lack of Wii Fit in this plan! Video games (or at least a motionless life of writing about them) got me into this predicament. I don’t trust them to turn the situation around.

Anyway, my legs have solidified from their gelatinous state in the time it took to write this, so now I shall hobble into the kitchen for a giant bowl of ice cream tiny morsel of dry toast and water. (That’s “dry toast” and “water,” not toast and water that are both dry. Just in case you mis-parsed that sentence. Right. Anyway.)

26 thoughts on “10,000-foot fun fair

  1. I fear exercise… Luckily, I live in said Japan, land of lengthy daily walks. It’s 15 minutes just to get to my station. I fear returning to the States and all that rich food.

  2. Dry water bias confirmed.

    And yeah… exercise. That stuff’s a bitch. I can never keep it up.

  3. Pfft, rich food in America? Pretty much everything I’ve ever eaten in Japan is fatty, highly processed and alarmingly low in natural fiber and vitamins. The food I ate over there was an atrocity against my body, and if I hadn’t been under the command of a merciless taskmaster I probably would have ballooned a dozen pounds or so.

  4. Pfft, rich food in America? Pretty much everything I’ve ever eaten in Japan is fatty, highly processed and alarmingly low in natural fiber and vitamins

    I suppose so, especially if you hit places like Yoshinoya and eat excessive amounts of Japanese curry. On the other hand, Mexican restaurants are my bane in America, and it’s thankfully pretty difficult to find over here. I need to keep working on cutting out the carbs in my diet though. Ugh, what have I become, talking about healthy foods and weight loss. :P

  5. Don’t rely on the biking too much though. It’ll destroy your knees in the long run.

  6. “Don’t rely on the biking too much though. It’ll destroy your knees in the long run.”

    So does walking and running.
    Actually, biking is better than walking or running because there’s no shock or impact on your knees.
    As long as you keep the seat on a decent level and don’t stretch your legs while pedaling, you should be fine.

    What you should worry is about the bike seat, if you don’t wear correct garment (by correct I mean some kind of cushion or padding) between the bike seat and your ass, you might screw up circulation to your penis and have long term problems achieving an erection.

  7. Good luck to you. I just moved back in with my family this week after finishing school, and they’re all doing the Weight Watchers point counting thing, so now I’m doing that as well. Probably a good thing, as my weighing showed that I was within spitting distance of 300 lbs. My brother’s lost almost 50lbs in the past six months doing this, so I’m hopeful, at least. I’m also trying to ease into working out on the treadmill.

  8. We have been talking about this sort of thing in the “WeFit” thread.

    I love to run, but knee problems are a perennial issue for a lot of folks. Swimming is a great way to relieve knee stress and still do solid cardio work. If you use a weight belt, you can even run in the pool (a lot harder than it sounds).

    Rowing is also a pretty effective calorie crusher. It’s easy to work up a good sweat and it can fortify your back when done properly.

    Keep it up and keep us posted. Blogging about it might even get you to keep a schedule.

  9. Wow, from all the times I’ve seen you on 1UP I wouldn’t dare call you fat. You’re probably one of the better-proportioned (not too fat or too skinny) guys on the whole game site circuit.

  10. “Don’t rely on the biking too much though. It’ll destroy your knees in the long run.”
    “if you don’t wear correct garment (by correct I mean some kind of cushion or padding) between the bike seat and your ass, you might screw up circulation to your penis and have long term problems achieving an erection.”

    Just as I was easing myself back into regular exercise. Thanks for the (non-)incentive! :p

    Also: I think I’m glad I never managed to learn how to ride a bike. My manliness was saved by my lousy balance!

  11. I got Wii Fit, it’s very easy to get out here in mainland Europe. I used it for a bit, then joined a Gym. And that has had far, far better results in far less time.

    I hate going, but once you pay you just have to. Sort of. Should of gone today.
    But Wii fit is just irritating, despite not being a bad product.

  12. Biking doesn’t destroy your knees in the long run. Living in Europe I see everyone cycling, including 70 year old ladies going up steep heels, albeit slowly. It also doesn’t destroy your manliness as long as you take the right precautions (similar problems can happen to women too). Running is also fine as long as you have correct form and good footwear (ie shoes that don’t make you ram your heels into the pavement as hard as you can).
    And of course moderation. All of these concerns are just excuses to not exercises! Living in Europe for a year I have noticed that all of the things my North American brain worries about are just not real concerns. We were raised to be total wimps afraid of everything.

  13. Yeah, I should probably hop on the excercise train {or should that be tandem? *groan*}.
    One day… one day.

  14. I get a lot of my exercise, although it is lame exercise, just by walking and listening to an album or something since I don’t really like listening to music that much if I’m not walking or driving or doing something.

  15. I actually listen to Retronauts a lot of the time while I’m working out at the YMCA… There’s something deliciously ironic about listening to dorky conversations about such a sedentary pastime while working out. And all the while the cool kids are getting pumped to Justin Timberland or the Boo-Ya Tribe or whatever and no one is the wiser!

  16. Buy some free weights (a basic adjustable 40-pound set is enough). You can do a lot of exercises with body weight and one or two dumbbells. Build some muscle mass and you’ll have an easier time of keeping your weight at a healthy weight.

    Extra bonus: you’ll still move like Snake when you’re older!

  17. I want to slim down, not bulk up. The problem with muscle mass is that you have to maintain it or it degenerates and you look fatter than before. I’d rather just lose some weight and keep it off, which is much easier in the long run.

    I didn’t actually call myself fat — I said flabby. Thickening. This is true. My midsection is expanding and it’s disgusting. I could stand to lose about 20-30 pounds.

  18. If it’s your midsection you’re worried about, be sure to add in some ab work before or after workouts. Heck, if you don’t think you’ll have time to exercise during the day, do a couple exercises in the morning or evening once you are out of bed.

  19. I lost eight pounds last week strictly through walking.

    Okay, I walked over 68 miles in 90 degree weather, but you get the idea.

  20. I went fencing last night for the first time in about a month and a half, and my legs are still aching. Good luck on your exercise regime.

  21. The only time I have to play games anymore is on the elliptical machine or exercise bike at the Y. Sure, I get the “WTF?” look as I’m sweating like crazy with DS in hand, but kills two birds with one stone, etc.

  22. “The problem with muscle mass is that you have to maintain it or it degenerates and you look fatter than before. I’d rather just lose some weight and keep it off, which is much easier in the long run.”

    This is completely and totally wrong. Muscle mass does not turn into fat. Further, added muscle mass makes it easier to lose fat because it raises your metabolism. Muscle mass is good, and is part of the reason why sedentary people start to get fat after 30: that’s the same age that you start to lose muscle mass if you don’t do anything to keep it. The more muscle mass you have, the easier it is to keep fat off.

    Strength training is good. Very, very good. Even moderate strength training can help overall health immensely.

    (I still love your writing. This just happens to be something I know a lot about.)

  23. Eat six small meals a day. It’ll keep your digestive system from slacking off. I suggest each of those meals contain as 56 kg of sugar. Also, running is awesome. So treadmill away. But then consume 56 kg of sugar afterwards. Preferably Snickers.

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