Hope you’re ready for 25 hours of looking at Solid Snake’s rock-solid butt, folks. If MGS4 has a prevailing theme, it’s that Snake really keeps his glutes in great shape. Especially for an old guy. That hinder is front-and-center for an alarming portion of the game.
But yeah, Metal Gear Solid 4 is now officially out the world over, so I can finally talk to people about it. You know how annoying it is to have to clam up about this crap for a month? Honestly. The one good thing about the delay is that my 1UP review of the game has had a great deal of time to simmer and mature. I wrote it about five weeks ago and have revisited it from time to time since then, tweaking bits of text and tightening it up in places. I’m sure it’s completely awful. After all, I’ve utterly failed to dissect it category-by-category, Consumer Reports style. Oh well! I’m sure we’ll all manage, somehow.
I’m also looking forward to people second-guessing the score. “It’s a 9.0!” “No, it’s 8.5!” Actually, neither is correct: It’s an A-minus. The numbers-to-letters conversion scale only exists to help nudge old reviews into the current format; I don’t think in numeric terms anymore. I think instead: This is a great game, so it’s an A. But it has some issues, so it’s an A-minus. Ta-da! Very simple. MGS4 at its best far outstrips anything else in the series; however, the overall package is far less consistent (and consistently brilliant) than Metal Gear Solid 3. Especially the boss battles. Don’t let that deter you, though! It’s 50% phenomenal game and 50% above-average Japanese-issue Hollywood-style explosion flick wherein in love may, potentially, bloom on a battlefield.
I do have more to say on the game, but I feel like I should wait until everyone’s played it, since expressing anything beyond this review is contingent on specific, spoiler-y type information.
In sadder news, the girlfriend still hasn’t found work…but the bills from her final month of school have come due. I’m now spending the entirety of my monthly paycheck on rent and bills. Life’s awesome. I’d like to be able to eat next month, so it’s eBay time. Currently I have a bunch of DVDs up for sale, but soon I shall peddle away my entire existence!
Also, uhhhhh… probably a bad idea, but it’s always best to learn from tragic mistakes.