Great Gurlukovich’s ghost!

New Game + | Weekly Games Column
What? Metal Gear Solid 4 is the selection of the week? Why, how gauche and predictable. This site has totally sold out. Better abandon ship now before we start gushing about how NASCAR games are an underappreciated art form. Actually, that would be an unusual enough marriage of low- and high-brow tastes to be interesting. So hey! Stick around.
Add to Queue | Weekly DVD Column
You know what would have been awesome? If this week’s Add to Queue column also listed MGS4 as its pick of the week. Get it, ’cause it’s so non-interactive it’s like watching a movie. Haw haw! (FYI, this is a new definition of “awesome” which means “obnoxious, boorish and juvenile.”)

10 thoughts on “Great Gurlukovich’s ghost!

  1. Actually, I played Bio Miracle Whatever via emulation back in the day, and it’s actually quite surprisingly fun. I would recommend it. Also of note is the fact that, as I recall, most of the names in the end credits are female. So you may take out of that whatever message about gender norms you so desire.

  2. Hmm… seeing bouncing darumas on a VC release reminds me. When exactly is Sega going to get around to tossing out the one decent Alex Kidd game? The Master System list needs beefing up, and it has that same level level of “OK but not all that noteworthy” that seems to be being served up lately.

    OK, I confess, I’m just trying to start a tangent on bouncing darumas.

  3. What is racist and homophobic about Larry the Cable Guy? I’ve seen his health inspector movie, and it was just potty humor.

  4. how NASCAR games are an underappreciated art form

    Actually, I could probably make a very good case for that. I’m completely serious.

    As for the rascism &etc of Dan “larry the Cable Guy” Whitney, David Cross’ Open Letter To Larry The Cable Guy sums up a lot of it. Here’s a small sample:

    Re: Abu Ghraib Torture –

    “Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!”

    Re: Having a Muslim cleric give the opening prayer at the Republican Convention –

    “What the hell is this the cartoon network? The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell’s going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!…First these peckerheads ( Ironically, “peckerhead” was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin’ before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That’s a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin’ this muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to allah at!” End Quote. So…yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when you say towards the end, “…now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)…”

    There are numerous examples and I don’t think I need to reprint any more. You get the idea. Oh, what the hell, here’s one more – “They’re dead, get over it! Poor little sandy asses! I’m sure all them dead folks’d they’d killed give 40 shekels or whatever kinda money these inbred sumbitches use, but I’d give 40 of ’em whatever it is to be humiliated instead of dead!”

    So, yeah.

  5. Thanks for the link on Dan Whitney. I knew he didn’t have a natural Southern accent, but it’s weird to see how his comedy routine has changed

    I would also like to heartily endorse the John Adams HBO series. They used a lot of great quotes and, although they did screw around with some of the history, it is ultimately a great series.

  6. You canceled HBO after the Sopranos? Shame on you.

    The Wire was still one season away from completion, and it is easily HBO’s greatest accomplishment, despite what the Academy thinks.

  7. “(FYI, this is a new definition of “awesome” which means “obnoxious, boorish and juvenile.”)”

    Huh. I was under the impression that’s ALWAYS been the definition of “awesome”.


  8. I’m with GeoX. Master System needs some more VC love. That thing wasn’t completely worthless. Or maybe I’m just convincing myself that because, on holiday trips, that was all I had to play at my grandmother’s house when I stupidly forgot to bring portable systems along. But I remember having some fun with Zillion. I swear, though, if they start charging 500 Wii points for that stupid maze game…

    And MGS4 is almost finally here. And now I’m starting to have doubts about dropping $500 on a system for a single game…

  9. I figured I was just taking easy shots at an obvious target, and felt bad about how lazy I was being, but I guess not everyone was up to speed on Larry the Cable Guy’s exploitation of his audience’s prejudices for profit. Anyway, fuck that guy.

  10. Yeah, my main exposure to him has been occasionally flipping past him on basic cable and my brothers having Health Inspector on in the background a couple of times while I watched them. Health Inspector was basically a 90 minute version of the toilet scene from Dumb and Dumber.

    That Cross piece is worth reading in full, by the way. The first half of it is hysterical.

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