So, I lied about Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. I played another hour into the game before remembering why I had quit before at around the same point: The infuriating probability stats which are unquestionably rigged to the computer’s benefit. I kicked off a story battle with three attacks, all rated at a 70% success rate, all three of which missed…followed by three enemy attacks, all rated at 50% success or below, all three of which hit. I don’t really need that kind of stupidity in my life, so it’s on to working on something I need cleared off my plate before I can feel like a relevant participant in this meaningless field of journalism once again:
I’m finding myself struggling to like Grand Theft Auto IV. It feels as though Rockstar decided to take away all the things I enjoyed about the PS2 titles while amplifying everything I detested, apparently in the name of “realism.” The free-form taxi/ambulance/pizza delivery missions I always used as a tool for orientating myself within each new city? Gone! (Well, not completely gone: Just hidden away behind a few compulsory stories missions and an unreliable dispatcher who turns me down two times out of three.) The effortless, arcade-like auto controls? Destroyed by an ill-fitting physics engine. The freedom to just play and enjoy exploring? Thwarted by chatty, needy NPCs who constantly call and penalize you if you don’t drop everything you’re doing to go play pool with them. In other words… they’ve played down everything that makes GTA GTA in my book while emphasizing all the crap that makes me not want to play other games of this ilk. Don’t even get me started on how long I’ll have to play to get out of the boring Brooklyn/Queens areas and into the juicy Manhattan sections. Well done, Rockstar.
Still, I don’t dislike everything about the game. The graphics look nice so long as you close your eyes every time a character is shown in close-up. And there’s a fusion radio station! Granted, I could enjoy the same net effect by looking at GTA4 screenshots while listening to Brand X, but I sank money into this and I’m determined to siphon some value out of it.
Put your phone to sleep and your NPC buddies will get off your case. Of course, you’ll have to put it to sleep after every time you use it …
Oh, that would explain why I put it to sleep but they keep bugging me. Lame.
Right on the money. The % thing in FFTA is ridiculous, but oftentimes I found it working to my advantage. Still, it’s stupid.
And I express the same sentiments about GTA4. It continues to surprise me how often you manage to put into an article/review/blog exactly the opinions I harbor.
Man I’m glad I’m not the only person who is less than enthused about this game. I actually sold it.
“Thwarted by chatty, needy NPCs who constantly call and penalize you if you don’t drop everything you’re doing to go play pool with them.” Man, and I thought Otis in Dead Rising was bad…
You could just go into free mode, set the room to private, and go anywhere in the city. No annoying phone calls either.
Aw, but that’s no good, either. I want to have the option to make progress occasionally.
Oh, and the combat is pretty OK. It’s no MGS4, but what is?
You can skip friend activities without angering them by calling back immediately and canceling your plans. If you turn the phone off, then they will just be mad that you haven’t called them.
As for all the things Rockstar took out since San Andreas, I get the feeling they’re saving those for the (undoubtedly pricey) DLC.
I’m strangely ambivalent about GTAIV as well. It might be the minigames, but there is something about it that while it’s fun to play while I’m playing, it hasn’t grabbed me like Beyond Good and Evil or Rain-Slick Precipice.
Can I be the annoying guy that asks which version you’re playing? No? Ok then.
The 360 version, but I can’t imagine that the console would make a lick of difference.
Hey, jpar, you might find this interesting: http://www.atlus.com/pd.php
I loved FFT but found FFTA super slow and tedious. I played 5 hours on GBA but I couldn’t take it any more, so I ripped the rom and save and played on emulator with 2-3x speed. It was much more enjoyable but the story was…..
Your experience with FFTA sounds foreign to me. I’ve never had that kind of experience and I actually did some of the post game stuff. Maybe because I restricted myself from doing anything to, uh, random? And because I was heavily overleveled because I wanted Weapon steal?
Though we can all agree no one played the game for its epic storyline. It’s better than FFV, but what isn’t?
See, that’s odd to me (the FFTA story), because I always had the inverse. No matter what the hell the game told me the percentage was, I would just end up hitting 90% of the time, and this was with a party of thieves using ability steal.
I think you got my karma.
Vice City was where I pretty much crapped out with GTA; it became clear with San Andreas that their story was more important than what I wanted to do. And screw that. As far as I’m concerned, having the cops come after you if you used cheats to get to the new areas before you’re “supposed” to was unforgivably, atrociously, stupid.
Crackdown and the GTA-flavored Spider-Man and Hulk games were all damn close to what I really want out of this kind of game; I keep hoping that somebody will realize that GTA will never be beat on story and production values, but it’s continually left itself pretty vulnerable in terms of satisfying gameplay, far as I’m concerned.
Maybe it’s just me, but I really LIKED that there’s less to do. GTA IV is far more focused than the last few games, which just seemed to have huge problems with bloat. I mean, I like sandboxes, but San Andreas had too many toys I didn’t want to play with.
My complaint is that there seems to be less to do freely than in GTAIII, which was perfect in that regard; meanwhile, there’s stupid crap like maintaining relationships that plays like the territories in San Andreas amplified to be indescribably more annoying.
I loved the idea of this game; the story, actually. Unfortunately, I detested playing the same mission over and over ad nauseam just to get to the meat of the prose. I think I’ll wait for someone to compile the whole of the saga and just watch it unfold. The game has been collecting dust on my shelf since week two of its release.
It’s funny, Josh – I would say that complaint is aimed at FFTA, but it can also be applied to GTAIV. I love coincidences.
I never played any of the other GTAs so i enjoy 4 for what it is.
FFTA on the other hand, I hated yet somehow I played it for 50 hours, hoping it would get better.
Does A2 at least let you recruit monsters? That was one thnig that really disappointed me in the first one?
Ultimate Spider-Man definitely made a more compelling sandbox game than the GTAs I have played. My predilection for superheroes was a big factor too.
I think it was the percentage issues that lead me to breed strong archers in FFTA. They became snipers fairly quickly and their multi-shot ability made the percentage issues much less of a factor. The mages and alchemists resolved the situation with the wide area of their attacks.
You know, I’ve never played a GTA before (although I watched my brother playing GTAIII fairly extensively back in the day), but for whatever reason, I’ve found myself sort of wanting to play GTAIV. I think it’s mainly because of that part at the end of the commercial where he goes “I’m the one who survived!” I love that part. And that’s really all I have to say. Oh yeah, FFTA: I could forgive the non-story if it wasn’t so childishly easy. Or vice versa. But zero challenge AND zero story? It’s just too much.
The relationship building is quite possibly the biggest fault in GTA4, and I’m sure we’ll see it dialed back or removed altogether in the inevitable sequels. I’d say to stick with it, though–there’s more and more to do as you go on, and I personally find travelling through the (ridiculously detailed) city for whatever reason to be reward in itself.
On another note, it’s kinda sad to see you not doing Retro Roundup anymore, but I’m sure you have your reasons. Good to see it again, at least.
“And there’s a fusion radio station!”
There’s a prog-rock station too, but you have to hijack the armadillo tank first.
Jesus, Jeremy. I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with anything you’ve ever had to say about anything… ever!
Why do I keep coming to this site…
But anyway, GTA4 is definitely a more mission-based game, but it never suffers from the San Andreas syndrome of a constantly-fluctuating game mood (I listened to the Retronauts podcast!). GTA4 has a GREAT story, great voice acting, and very logical mission progression, which is why I think it’s easily the best GTA ever. If I feel like jumping around and blowing up stuff in a fancy-free manner, Crackdown is always ready for a boot-up.
Jesus, Jeremy. I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with anything you’ve ever had to say about anything… ever!
Why do I keep coming to this site…
Because a well-written opinion you don’t necessarily agree with is every bit as entertaining to read as one you do? It usually is to me, at least.
You don’t agree that I’m struggling to enjoy the game? But… but that’s not even an opinion, it’s just fact.
You liked it for one day? Oh, well. You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly sir!
Is everything cool over there in 1up Land? With the announcement of Crispin leaving, a lot of users seem worried. Just wondering if you had any thoughts. I’m sad that Mr. Boyer is leaving. I’ve been reading his words for years now and it’s going to be weird not seeing him in EGM anymore.
Dagnabbit, sorry for the double post.
Anyway, Crispin’s leaving now? And when the heck did Jenn move on? Seems like so many people lately.
We’re all bummed about Crispin…he’s been responsible for some of the best material in EGM for years.
I don’t presume to speak for him or anyone else, but you’ll notice the majority of people who have left recently are folks who have been in this gig for a long, long time — a decade-plus. Having put half that time into writing about video games myself, I’m surprised they’ve lasted this long. It is a grueling, unrewarding, thankless career… fun sometimes, sure, but not really the sort of thing to build a life on. I think as this niche of journalism continues transitioning to an online focus, a lot of old-timers are using the changes and disruption as an excuse to make a clean break and go about doing something new. If I’d been with a magazine for ten years and then suddenly expected to spend most of my time online, I’d probably consider moving my efforts in a different direction as well. Online journalism is very different from its print ancestor.
FFTA has lower percentage chances than a lot of RPGs I’ve played but I never felt that it was suffering from faulty random number generator syndrome, unlike, say, GTA Vice City where I’ve driven past a phalanx of ten taxis.
RAC – “Crackdown and the GTA-flavored Spider-Man and Hulk games were all damn close to what I really want out of this kind of game; I keep hoping that somebody will realize that GTA will never be beat on story and production values, but it’s continually left itself pretty vulnerable in terms of satisfying gameplay, far as I’m concerned.”
Yes, thank you. Playing GTA IV made me feel like I was playing Crackdown: Lo-fun edition. Incidentally, I’m still curious about how, a while back, you called Crackdown your Game of the Year – saying that it was the most fun, despite there being better games released. How were those other games ‘better’? Isn’t the point of playing these things to have fun?
Coincidently I decided to go back to GTAIV this morning {took a break from games because of exams}. 15 minutes in I turned it off because Jacob and Packie rang me in 1 minute of each other wanting to hang out and I ended up accidently ‘killing’ one of them and pissing off the other in an attempt to keep them both happy.
Thanks Jeremy. I understand better now why so many old school journalists are getting out. Online is probably much more tedious and time consuming compared to doing a monthly mag. And where did Jenn go??
Jeremy – “You don’t agree that I’m struggling to enjoy the game? But… but that’s not even an opinion, it’s just fact.”
Nope, don’t even agree with that. I think you’re making it up to be the contrarian, aaaas usssual :)
I’m kidding. You have a thankless job? Why didn’t you say so? THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO, JEREMY! I seriously love this site, 1up, and the retronauts podcast.
The odds of the computer hitting you at 50% odds three times in a row is 1 in 8. I just thought I’d point out that the RNG is not necessarily broken.