What the…

I spend the morning at a Nintendo event and come back to find you’ve already made it more than halfway to making me post a Thumbnail Theatre. You guys are generous, but you’re also total bastards.

(But seriously, I am very happy that I will finally be able to pay GameSpite’s writers for their efforts. Thanks!)

Since it worked so well for The GIA, I’ve come up with a table of inventives, with higher-profit tasks being more odious than the rest. That way I don’t feel as guilty for taking your money, because I’ll be suffering in the process.

  • $1000: Star Wars Episode III Thumbnail TheatreGOAL!
  • $2000: Metal Gear Solid Thumbnail Theatre
  • $3000: Unlimited Saga review
  • $4000: ToastyFrog comic story 1
  • $5000: Final Fantasy VII Thumbnail Theatre
  • $6000: Vagrant Story Thumbnail Theatre
  • $7000: Dirge of Cerberus review
  • $8000: ToastyFrog comic story 2
  • $9000: Smash Bros. Brawl review
  • $10000: Xenogears Thumbnail Theatre, but one of you has to help sort out my taxes next year, too.

A few people have suggested adding a subscription system, which I might do next month. We shall see! In the meantime, I welcome recommendations for odious content.

37 thoughts on “What the…

  1. Wouldn’t a Xenosaga trilogy Thumbnail Theatre be a more apt milestone for $10,000 if we’re going up the scale of odiousness? Then again the ratio of suffering to monetary gain probably isn’t worth it.

  2. Sort of beaten to the punch, and I agree with that Xenosaga suggestion for the $10K target. My idea was a little different.

    Four words: amateur Xenosaga audio drama. $24000

  3. Well, Xenosaga actually takes less time to complete than Xenogears, and it gets better toward the end rather than worse, so it seems less odious to me. And I own a copy of Xenogears! But I’m open to debate.

  4. I say you do an Assassin’s Creed Thumbnail Theatre for $3000.It would be very easy, as you just have to do one part and copy/paste it eight times.

  5. I want to see a Thumbnail Theatre about the history of Thumbnail Theatres. If there’s anything more entertaining than watching someone have to decide between integrity and money, it’s watching him profit from mocking his own decision later on.

  6. RE: people’s suggestions in the comments — I would pay money so that *none* of these ideas ever happen — particularly the Lucky Star one.

  7. Good lord.

    I wish I was in a career rather than stuck in college limbo. I could contribute more.

    Speaking of Unlimited Saga, are we ever going to suffer through a Spite Club like you planned, or did the Urban Champion thing kill it?

  8. I 2nd the Akitoshi Kawazu’s article, If I had insane amounts of extra money around I’d pay for that article to be written by the Parish myself.

  9. Second the Toastyfrog costume. AND you have to wear the wings.

    I also think that Xenogears is way, way worse than Xenosaga. I’ve never played them, but the perfect storm of developers’ sloth and malice that is the Tower of Babel could not possibly exist in them I’m sure. I think the amateur audio drama idea is INSPIRED, though.

  10. I like that one of the terrible incentives is “taking suggestions.”

    What I like more is that FFVII is worse than it.

  11. Daikatana review. Yes, I know how terribly cliched making fun of Daikatana is, but that is why a review in JP’s hands is an entertaining prospect, especially if it turns out that the fan community plugging away at addressing its many flaws managed to make the game tolerable.

    $8000 – a word-off with N’Gai Croal. Who can talk about something 95% of gamers don’t care about for longer?

  12. the remainder of onion completed as either comic or live action film

    What I don’t like is that the SSBB review is something I’d like to see (I guess I like seeing venom poured all over good games or something?) and this essentially constitutes a promise never to do it.

  13. If actually reach $10,000 I’m pretty sure you deserve some sort of Internet gold medal or something.

    I’m all for some sort of mail (not male) goodies for high contributions. I have no clue how this sort of thing would work, but what about a raffle of limited edition swag that we can buy tickets for? Maybe shirts, buttons, zines, or other Toasty paraphernalia that we can each buy a ticket for like $5/$10 each? Just a thought for bigger things further down the road.

  14. How ’bout something you’d enjoy doing, for a change?

    Vagrant Story TT. IIRC, you liked it well enough. And then show it to Matsuno :D

  15. Wait, a “subscription plan?”

    I thought you wanted to people to pay you money……

  16. Onion would be nice, but it strikes me as being such a massive project we’d basically have to pay JP a second salary, which in turn requires us to convince him that being a professional webcomicker isn’t worth running a nice hot bath and opening up his arms with a razorblade.

  17. So, are these cumulative? It would be such a tough call between MGS TT and U:SaGa review…

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