Also not the best day

I had an amusing idea for a Mario Galaxy preview the other day — 10 reasons the game could maybe be a “perfect 10.” A harmless way to get people talking about whether or not it’s really that good, I figured… utterly failing to take into account that on the Internet another person’s every utterance about a videogame is immediately assumed to be fraught with bias and conspiracy. Also, there’s the thing about the 10 score not actually meaning “perfect” at our site, which the text clarified but was inevitably confusing to people who aren’t really familiar with 1UP’s way of doing things. So yeah, bad idea, and I am contrite for my lapse in judgment. Please to enjoy instead 10 reasons why, uh, Mario Galaxy could be incredible.

Of course, the new title is, in my opinion, even more disingenuous. Because while Mario Galaxy could turn out to be a 10, maybe, anyone who’s played a fair amount of the game can tell you that it is very definitely incredible. But what can ya do.

Well, anyway. Speaking of Mario, I think this link should lead you to a Retronauts episode about the little guy’s 8-bit games. Yeah, we managed to record one late yesterday, despite our Tuesday conflict. I also recorded something intensely humiliating for Friday’s 1UP Show, something so ridiculous and foolish that I will never, ever live it down. I’ll be moving to a remote cave over the weekend in order to hide from civilization. It’s been fun, everyone, but after today you will never hear from me again.

41 thoughts on “Also not the best day”

  1. I don’t usually watch the 1up show, but you can guarantee that I will be watching it. For great justice.

    Also, downloading Retronauts now. Glad you guys could get around to it.

  2. A new Retronauts on Mario? Yes please! But man, some one needs to give Chris Kohler a chill pill. Dude is always trying talk over everyone. By the way, it’s be nice to hear from Jenn Frank again in Retronauts. She always brings a nice perspective.

  3. Actually, I realize now that this particular mix of people is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic, which is our downfall. The result is that everyone is in a rush to talk over everyone else — especially Chris (who loves trivia) and Shane (who is bizarrely competitive about EVERYTHING). And then I’m trying to outshout them to keep things on track. All of these people will return for many episodes in the future, but probably not with this precise lineup.

  4. Parish, I support the idea of a revolving panel for Retronauts. Although, I do believe that Sharkey should be a mainstay in addition to yourself.

    I swear I’ve heard Shane talk about “thanking God for Nintendo and Super Mario Brothers” somewhere before. Must have been some 1up Yours in the past.

    By the way, your Mario Galaxy article was a nice read. But man, I think I’m over 3D mario. I played the hell out of Super Mario 64 back in the day. But when Sunshine came out, I played it for like 2 hours and I was over it. Also, I recently had the chance to play Galaxy at my local Gamestop for an uninterupted two hours. Sadly, I wasn’t feeling it and I found myself wishing that I could play the game with the classic controller or a GC pad.

    But after playing Galaxy, I felt reasured that selling my Wii for a 60gig PS3 this past July was a great decision for me.

  5. SUPER MARIO GALAXY COULD BE PERFECT TEN, PARISH IS ON NINTENDO’S PAYROLL! ZOMG! ZIFF-DAVIS BIAS *CONFIRMED~*!

    I think it’s a shame that so many morons exhibit this kind of behavior that you’re made to change the name of an article which is very insightful, and has a title that is in no way misleading. Ah, the internet.

  6. It’s just how the Internet works. I should know better by now, so it’s really my own fault.

  7. I just thought everybody knew you were Nintendo biased, and anything else is crap. First UGnG, then Halo 3. So you obviously hate Sony and Microsoft platforms and games.

    I enjoyed the podcast, and I know this got mentioned towards the end of it in passing, but are you guys going to do a 16 bit Mario podcast? I’m way more familiar with Super Mario World, Mario RPG, and Yoshi’s Island than the other ones, so a bunch of this stuff went over me.

  8. @Reibeatall: Find a copy of Super Mario All-Stars for the SNES to catch yourself up the early Mario games. Trust me, you won’t regret it. Alternatively, you can pick up Super Mario Advance and Super Mario Advance 4 (SMB 3) for the GBA/DS.

  9. Ohh, I’ve already played them. I’ve got SMB2 (Doki Doki) on the VC, I’ve played SMB several times but never beat it, and I’ve gotten to the last few levels of SMB3, but could never beat it (I usually got bored.)

  10. What’s with the sudden resurrection of the podcast, on schedule no less?? It’s all just a big plan to eventually take it away from us again and make us even more bitter, isn’t it??

  11. I had a dream in which the entire staff who worked on the Hugo games for Playstation traveled to a demonic dimension where they all raped each other and killed themselves. True story.

  12. I guess I the internet’s gotten to me, but as soon as I saw that headline on 1UP I thought “Aw man, Parish is gonna catch some shit for this” instead of “Wow, looks like Galaxy will be really good.”

  13. If you want to avoid accusations of bias, just write another article the next time Nintendo does something that reflects poorly on them. Readers will correlate the two pieces and realize that you’re actually approaching things from a reasoned perspective, recognizing both faults and merits where they legitimately exist.

    …

    That was supposed to be a joke but now I’m just kind of depressed.

  14. Mario Galaxy could be the best game ever, and still, it’s the same Ron Jeremy lookalike with overalls talking with a fake italian accent like a complete lunatic. Mario is crap.

  18. There aren’t many comments about Super Mario Galaxy on the podcast are there? I read a little bit of the list of reasons why Super Mario Galaxy might be a 10, and after a particular comment, I decided to stop reading before I spoiled anything else about the game. Note that I am in no way angry at you Toastyfrog, I’m just one of those weird people who try to go on media blackouts to avoid spoiling the experience of a new game, movie or book.

  19. but after today you will never hear from me again.

    That a promise?

    Seriously though, pretty good podcast from what I bothered to listen to, although it didn’t actually smash my Mario-related memories. Hell, I almost forgot Super Mario Bros. was previously an arcade game. But yeah, as mentioned before, I thought I was listening to an audio stream of some Fox News roundtable or something with all the talking at once. Perhaps a more imposing physical presence is needed in the room to maintain order.

    And double posting… you’re not perfect either.

  20. I liked the preview, but I didn’t like the 10 reason. I think you could have said something else instead of “because it’s mario duh.”

  22. Maybe Parish will be performing in the Mario & Sonic Olympic game for the 1up show. That could be slightly embarrassing.

    I had no problem with the preview.

  23. Princess Peach is Jenna Jameson, or more likely Seka, it all makes sense now. And the mushrooms, well, hehe… Miyamoto’s Freudian slip was a huge success.

  24. Here’s hoping the promised Metal Gear podcast is not as delayed as MGS4. I want to hear at least ten minutes of praise for the best video game print ad ever (the “Gear Up.” one that Konami brilliantly stuck on the back of every GI Joe comic for about six months in a row – talk about knowing your target market).

    This was a lot of fun, though. And by chopping it off at the end of the NES era, you smartly avoided the SMB3 v SMW argument that’s been beaten to death by this point.

    You forgot one of the best ‘kid lies’ bits about SBM3, though: that Princess and Toad WERE playable, you just had to beat the game multiple times with some crazy combination of stuff in order to get them. When you consider a lot of people who played the game probably never even saw a coin ship, those types of things didn’t seem too far-fetched.

  25. Shane sure likes to tell stories. And tell stories inside of stories. And tell stories that interrupt other people’s stories or commentary.

    Meanwhile, Kohler is like the patient-but-excitable college professor who has written a book on the subject, god damnit.

  26. Kohler is the arrogant pompous jerk who thinks he knows about stuff, but he doesn’t. You know, the kind of guy one likes to beat up at school.

  30. I’m still breaking in my GP2X, actually. I will blog about it when I’ve decided how I feel about it. I will say that its battery life is stupid awful.

  32. First Kohler with Weezer, now you? I know Jenn can belt a tune. You guys should do an all-singing Retronauts.

  37. Keep Jeremy and Chris as the podcast regulars and rotate through the rest of the “cast.” :)

  38. Surprising to see the Mario Galaxy review up already.

    It clears up any nagging doubts I had about the game. Not that it wouldn’t be good, but that it would be exceptional and fresh.

    And that score–oh, you’re such a tease.

  39. Whoa, dude… You’re singing was actually pretty good but, you still totally serenaded Mario on the internet… ZOMG, PARISH SERENADES MARIO ON 1UP SHOW, ZD BIAS *CONFIRMED~*!

    Seriously, though… that takes balls. Forget the nameless masses of the internet, I would have to imagine that Sharkey will never let you live that down.

  40. I for one think your “Mario~” segment was something that has bettered us all. Through song you have raised us up and let the light of Heaven shine on our brows. Yes. Now excuse me, it is time for U R Mr. Gaying.

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