GameSpite E3 exclusive: Chris Kohler to commit suicide

“With a busted-ass old company computer,” wept the broken husk of a man, utterly failing to thank me for saving him a front-row seat for the Nintendo press conference. “Good riddance,” agree nine out of ten doctors.

14 thoughts on “GameSpite E3 exclusive: Chris Kohler to commit suicide

  1. J and C are at the Nintendo press conference. J worked hard to save C a front seat, but C is too focused on his crappy computer, which is preventing him from live blogging. Both J and C want C to die.

  2. When I first read Marty’s comment, I thought it was one of those word problems where you have to decide who is taller, because J is half as tall as C, but C is three inches taller than four stacks seal or something. I hated those questions.

    Probably would’ve liked them better if any of them had ever involved seal stacking, which is a concept I can grasp.

  3. C probably crapped his pants in disappointment upon hearing Wii Fit with the new Wii Balance Board, while J would’ve probably cared less; he knew what to expect.

    What’s surprising is Miyamoto’s involvement with the title. Perhaps the interview will shed some light…

  4. Wii Fit is going to be awesome. I can’t wait to get healthy the Nintendo way! Seriously.

  5. Kohler better not die. Who else will play songs from the Xenogears soundtrack on a flute/whistle of some sort??

  6. I can’t tell what frustrated Chris from your statement. The Nintendo conference, or his computer feed.

  7. Don’t let him do it until I’m present. I wanna see/take pictures/charge admission/sell his organs.

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