This aggression will not stand, man

Bad enough that Nintendo revived the name, look and mechanics of one of the most sublime games ever made only to let Artoon take a big old crap all over them with Yoshi’s Island DS. But now this?

A beautiful 3D rendition of Yoshi’s Island… as a Smash Bros. stage? Nintendo, why you gotta make it personal? There can be no forgiveness.

Uh, on a totally hypocritical note, any of you NYC types willing to do me a favor?

50 thoughts on “This aggression will not stand, man

  1. What? You’d rather prefer are Yoshi’s STORY stage again? I’m happy they put a montage to YI this time. Now, if only they’d get the music right…

  2. I think this stands as evidence that Nintendo perceives the spirit of Yoshi’s Island much more than the actual games themselves. And you know, you could always run back and forth in the stage with Pink Yoshi, pretending to be playing “Yoshi’s Island Wii”. Maybe that works better if you’re eight years old.

  3. They did the same thing with the Kirby Starstacker motif to the sides of Kirby’s level in Melee. That was my absolute favorite puzzle game on the Gameboy when growing up and they taunt me so with no remakes. It’s almost the same feeling as I had with all the NiGHTS cameos in the later Sonic games and PSO, but now a new NiGHTS is actually coming out… Nintendo, por que?

  4. I may head up to the Nintendo store this weekend – if there’s a particular color you’re looking for or anything, shoot me an email and I’ll try to find out what’s what.

  5. I know you hate SSB, but I don’t recall why. Is it the general chaos of it? All I want from this game is the creation of enough buzz to warrant a sequel to Kid Icarus.

  6. Those DSes look like taken out of the 70’s. I love those colors. I wish handheld consoles and PDAs would come in colors like these more often. The dark teal one is sexy.

  7. Those DS’ are supposedly 280 clams. That’s a lot of money to still have a white line and mismatched triggers showing through.

  8. I was there when they were installing the display case and yes, they really are $280 or so. Still, I was kind of sorry to not be flush with disposable income when I saw them, ’cause they’re awfully pretty.

    And Parish, stop hating on the Smash Brothers. It’s a truly excellent game if you have some good friends around – good, chaotic fun for the whole family.

  9. I guess it’s the same for the people clamouring for a Kid Icarus remake, only to see it turn up as a Smash Bros. stage.

    Of course, we then got the opportunity to play it on VC and discovered the powerful memory-altering effects of nostalgia.

  10. Yoshi was in the other smash bros. games, they haven’t announced Yoshi for brawl but its likely that he will be back. This is going probably going to be his stage, what’s wrong with them making it look good? Would you be happier if it was all crappy looking?

  11. just about every one of these little Smash Bros updates has made me smile from ear to ear, and this one damn near caused my raging smile to pop my ears right off my head.


  12. 280 bucks, seriously? That is some hardcore crazy talk, right there. Also, I think you’re missing the point, Prime. I’d be happier if Smash Bros. simply didn’t exist. Its reality gives me heartburn.

  13. That stage looks rad. But what is infinitely more rad is how many knots you have in your panties because of it! Hilarious. You’ve never really explained why you have a Gamefaqs poster-esque hatred of Smash Bros. outside of GRRR RANDOM GRRR, so you should totally take this opportunity (before the thread mutates into the inevitable shouting match).

  14. Seeing those just really make me want Nintendo to make a new Yoshi’s Island for Wii with the same sort of graphics as those screens, with the character models having similarly styled cel-shading going on. Oh, and preferably have one of their top teams do it, not Artoon or something similar.

  15. Smash Bros., at least since Melee, is sort of known for going all the way on graphics. I still remember being disappointed at the scaled-back Mario in Sunshine at first, after Melee.

    –LBD “Nytetrayn”

  16. Actually, what really hilarious is that anyone would read my complaints as anything more than glib snark.

  17. meh, that’s nothing compared to Mario soccer trailer….. I don’t think Mr Parish can handle it when he see what’s the “Ball” looks like.

  18. Actually Parish, everyone else may have forgotten Ignorant White Guy, but I haven’t! Your hatred of Smash Bros seethes like a thousand tiny suns inside a river of rage flowing through a valley of vindictiveness.

  19. The reason why Smash Bros. should exist forever is basically for the orgy of Nintendo trivia and excellent music remakes.

  20. I don’t blame you, Mr. Parish, for not liking to play the Smash Bros games. I am the only person I know (in the real world) who feels the same way. But I don’t think I would be happy if it didn’t exist – as was previously mentioned, it gave us a lot of great music remixes, Nintendo trivia, and just a whole lot of awesome and obscure references. Plus, when my friends and I would get together for a big gaming party, it would distract them so I had free reign over all the other games and systems.

  21. What would you do if Tron Bonne were included as a playable fighter in Smash Bros. Brawl?

  22. Probably start cutting, I would guess. If nothing else, this iteration is going to give you one hell of an OST. Think of that whenever you feel the bile rise.

  23. Shall I check if they have a DS Lite in #FF6666?

    Also Smash Brothers is IMO completely justified as a carnival of glorious Nintendo fanservice, no matter how annoying the game itself may get.

  24. All you people hoping that “so and so character being there MEANS something,” have you forgotten that Ness has been in EVERY Smash game? That certainly gave us Mother 3 in the US, didn’t it?

  25. I’m just impressed that Sega still hasn’t – pardon the pun on this one – knuckled under and tossed Sonic out there for use in Brawl. Unless they assume the only reason people will buy the Olympic title is due to its “first crossover” status, there’s no reason not to put him in there.

    (And, no, I can’t see even the legendarily-secretive Nintendo sitting on that one for long if it did come to pass)

    The ONE bad thing about no full-fledged E3 this year: no video of this at the Nintendo keynote, complete with fanboy markouts.

  26. “What would you do if Tron Bonne were included as a playable fighter in Smash Bros. Brawl?”

    My instinct is to answer that question with “cry”. However, given that Parish seems to hate Capcom’s Vs. series with a comparable level of vigor, and that Tron Bonne was a playable character in MvC2 (as well as a Servbot), and that said events coinciding did not appear to elicit any display of emotion from Parish that I can recall, or even any direct mention… well, all I can say is it’s hard to predict these things. Maybe his head will explode. Maybe we’ll get a long essay on the wonders of articulate pedophilic action figures.

    The only thing I can say with any degree of certainty is that it’ll probably be fun to watch.

  27. “Maybe we’ll get a long essay on the wonders of articulate pedophilic action figures.” Articulate? You mean they express themselves readily, clearly or effectively?

  28. This hatred of Smash is new to me.

    What gives? It was never suppose to be taken as a serious fighter, anyways, but an introductory fighter. Melee simply brought the dynamics of pro-fighting games, but didn’t shun the newbies as well. To me, at least, that’s the beauty of Smash Bros.: You can play for fun AND/or play for real… There’s no real “wrong” way to play the game.

  29. For that to work, everyone has to be in on the gag. And there’s more of you than there are of me. So I win because of scale. Easier to coordinate one than dozens, see. Now go hang your head in defeat and shame.

  30. for the record, I think Smash Bros. has pretty impressively cohesive art direction for such an ungodly mashup of completely opposing styles.

    and on that note, I think it would probably be the most amazing thing in the world if they added PAPER MARIO as a secret character. put THAT in your brainvision.

  31. Any game that lets me knock Pit out of the park with Solid Snake auto-wins. Parish is megafail.


    I see sarcasm has failed at its finest.


    So… …
    Parish actually does hate Smosh Bros.?

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