Looks like it’s time for me to jump back into the manga review thing — my copy of To Terra… Vol. 2 has arrived, and I can’t wait to read it. I loved the first volume, and the second promises to be —

— wait a minute. That’s not… that’s… it’s….

Gah! Curse you, Pokémoooooooooon!
Man, that’s almost as bad as learning that Nintendo has purchased a majority stake in Monolith, raising the distinct possibility that in their desperation to get original RPG content on the Wii they’ll revive the Xeno series. There are two ways this could be acceptable: (1) KOS-MOS themed power-ups in the next Kirby game, or (2) Paper Xenogears.

Jeanne D’Arc looks pretty solid! It’s an original tactical RPG for PSP. As in, not a port. Crazy, eh? Meanwhile, Revenant Wings is not quite as good as it should have been, but unlike some people I’m not really convinced it’s a total loss. The fact that it’s basically just a Final Fantasy XII facelift for Heroes of Mana is a letdown, but it’s not the cakewalk that it might sound like — the difficulty ramps up pretty quickly. And watching mobs of Final Fantasy monsters beat the crap out of one another at your bidding is pretty much awesome.

Oh yeah, weekly Retro Roundup. But you probably could have guessed that much.

9 thoughts on “Xenoooooooooo!!

  1. I was wondering whether you’d comment on that. Look, maybe Nintendo will manage to remove the suck from Monolith by showing them how to do things right. Even you have to admit, (and in fact, had admitted) they do have potential.

  2. I just hope that acquisition means that we get more Baten Kaitos games. The cards changeing over time mechanic was too cool to let disappear. As far as your concerns knowing Nintendo’s desire to deliver highly polished games makes me hopeful that this will lead to some high quality content coming out of monolith.

  3. you know, seeing that pic reminds me… why couldn’t torterra have gotten some Rock or Steel love? Grass and Ground? He’s weak to half the attacks out there!

  4. Yeah, beyond the jokes I really assume Nintendo did this to make sure Baten Kaitos DS finally becomes a reality.

  5. Here’s my theory with what’s going to happen with Monolith and Nintendo. Its going to be that Nintendo thing where they’re finding a developers to make games for Nintendo franchies. And considering Monolith operates on the philosophy of L. Ron Hubbard when it comes to religion (its primary existance is to make the big bucks with) whatever they make will be heavily influenced by some religious text or belief. Actually I’m sure they’ll design the next Star Fox game. Its just a perfect fit for the Xeno universe. They could call it Xeno Assault and make it Star Fox with Xeno characters. Fox will be replaced with Shion. Crystal will be Kos-mos. Slippy replaced with RoriUH I mean Momo and Falco is Captain Falcon. Jr. was shot and killed by God and Ziggy is imprisoned for pedophilia. So then you fight all the way to the final boss, which is God. And God is some ameobic looking blob bearing a faint resemblance to Marlon Brando (circa fat blobby stage). And once you beat God, Kos-Mos becomes a real girl and pregnant and claims its Shion’s baby. But Captain Falcon realizes robots can’t get pregnant, so he falcon punches Kos-Mos in the stomach making the ‘baby’ come out. As it turns out, its really a part of God that Kos-Mos was smuggling inside her body to take back to her corporate overlords. And before he leaves, Flacon takes off his helmet revealing he is Albedo and admits he killed Jr before raping Mo-Mo’s head again. Then there’s a screen of Chaos sleeping and you realize it was all just a dream and Jr. wasn’t really shot and the game was really just a big rip off of SMB2/Baku Baku Panic. Because Monolith employs unoriginal hacks, none of whom contain a creative bone in their bodies. OMG I hate Xenosaga.

  6. I hope Nintendo uses this golden opportunity to put KOS-MOS into SSBB. Unlikely, but it’d cool if it did. Thanks for the Jeanne d’Arc and Revenant Wings previews. Jeanne d’Arc is one of the few games on the PSP I’m really looking forward to playing. The killing spree/chaining trick sounds really cool. I don’t think I’ll have the problem of expecting RW to be too much like XII because it’s graphical style differentiates it too much from its predecessor.

  7. Oh god dude, I saw a volume of To Terra in Borders a few days ago and thought the same thing.

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