Time for your weekly old games booster shot

Another week, another Retro Roundup, and all the baggage that represents. I don’t mean “baggage” in the sense of “odious personal issues” or whatever, though, I just mean it carries around the Retronauts podcast in a quaint little carpet bag for a dose of Reconstruction Era nostalgia. It’s tough to get more old-school than that.

And I never bothered to link to this week’s Bonus Stage, because I’m painfully self-conscious about it. I hate seeing myself on camera looking all pale and fat and uncomfortable, and that’s basically the entirety of the new episode. But life hates me, so naturally my quiet effort to passively sweep it under the carpet has been utterly thwarted; this is far and away the most popular episode to date. So with 100,000 views already inflicted upon it, I guess I might as well give in to the inevitable and join the linkfest.

Sorry. Next week is 100% real-person free, I promise.

34 thoughts on “Time for your weekly old games booster shot

  1. Is the camera removing ten pounds, because whenever you mention your weight, I’m left to scratch my head. I mean, the pale is there. The pale is on display, but what’s with the weight consciousness? You’re not binging and purging all that lye-flavored miso are you?

  2. “Kirby’s Adventure… it’s got more pink than a hardcore porn site”

    i am both horrified that you said this and extremely jealous that you got to write it down before i could.

  3. I used to be rail thin, so I’m always annoyed at my decelerating metabolism and a lifestyle that doesn’t leave a lot of time for exercise. I guess if I stopped squandering my free time on Bonus Stage I could wake up earlier and jog, though. Is this… is this a conundrum?

  4. Is it the emulation that makes Kirby’s Adventure so bass-heavy? I think it’s got to be the bass-iest NES game I’ve played. I mean that in a good way, too.

  5. Since I seem to have missed the food entry by a few days: have you found any great pho joints in San Francisco? Or, for that matter, Chinese? I’ve found the sushi, Mediterranean, and burrito restaurants of my dreams, but truly good (‘n’ cheap) Vietnamese and Chinese continues to elude me.

  6. yes, you’re pale.
    yes, you’re damn uncomfortable (seems to me you freaked out a bit with this “nintendo shrine”, and chris’s porn game)
    but you’re not fat! chris, on the other hand… you’re just average

    anyways, i loved this bonus stage because i got so see something pretty different from anything i could expect. thumbs up

  7. Yeah, there’s a great pho place by the very strange name of “Turtle Tower.” There’s one in the rather hellish Little Saigon bit of the Tenderloin, which I would avoid, and another way out in the Richmond at about 22nd and Geary. My girlfriend and all her relatives swear by it — the broth is skimmed constantly so it’s incredibly clear and light, and the garnishes are perfect. Apparently.

    mode7: I actually felt totally comfortable in the store. I’m just not so keen on being a Personality, which is what is expected of you when you hold a microphone.

  8. THEY HAVE A BOKOSUKA WARS MAP!! I thought it looked like a pretty cool store at first, but now I know that it’s not just cool, it’s AWESOME!

  9. I pasted this in one of the 4 blogs where you might read or not read the comments:
    “Finally, I see the face behind the Parish voice and words.

    Not quite what I expected… I imagined you being like real thin, glasses, really serious and with a bit of better-than-you confidence and attitude :P

    But all that just came from your style of writing, which in real life would just be really annoying but on paper (fomg internet age of the no paper) makes you one of my favorite writers along with Kurt Kalata and Stephen Totilo.”

    And btw, when I said I imagined you being REAL thin I’m not saying you look fat :P
    You didn’t look fat at all, but whatever, having a little meat doesn’t hurt anyone and you should be proud of it.

  10. Wow, and here I thought I didn’t like Kid Icarus because I was a bad person or something. Thanks, Mr. Parish! Now I’m going to have to punch you for not writing that two days ago, when it could have kept me from spending 500 points on it.

  11. -=RetroRoundup: Thumbs Middle?=-

    You should make a third icon, called a thumbs… middle?

    I don’t think Icarus deserves a Thumbs Up, but it doesn’t deserve a Thumbs Down either.

    So you should come up with a middle ground to avoid pissing off everyone that like it by giving it a Thumbs Down and to avoid the creation of a “I hate parish” club by making people buy the game because of your Thumbs Up.

    Plus, I think a Thumbs Middle will just confuse everyone, so by being confused it will really be their fault if they buy it or not :P

  12. Yeah, it’s not like the Roman emperors watched gladiator matches and were like “Ho hum, thumb sideways. Let him stand there.” You can’t kinda-buy a VC download — it’s either five bucks or nothing.

  13. Neutral can be a rating.
    It just means not one way or the other.

    I guess you missed the point and joke of the post.

  14. How could you not expect the episode to be this popular, Jeremy? It takes place in the GREATEST STORE OF ALL TIME and you knew that going in.

  15. It was awesome when you’re looking at boobs and BAM! the title music to Earthbound plays in the background. Keiichi Suzuki should do more game music. Hip Tanaka should’ve never stopped either.

  16. So there are about four places to comment on the latest Retronauts. I figure I’ll do it here as it is more “personal”. As personal as a random person you have never met commenting on your work can be.

    A) Kid Icarus is good. It isn’t great, and it isn’t a game I would say every person who owns a NES should have. It is at least as good as the original Metroid and has stood the test of time better. I’ll grant that I like my platformers to be challenging like this. I also really enjoy the Hip Tanaka music. Okay, the title screen is higher pitched than I remembered (the version I have on my cell phone is much better), but otherwise I think it is fine.

    B) I liked System’s Twilight. Or at least I liked the concept. The puzzles just became frustratingly difficult for me. It was definitely a charming game, but I could never get very far. Give me classic Mac puzzle games like Fool’s Errand or 3 in Three any day over the impossible challenge of System’s Twilight. The human-created sound effects were awesome though. As I’m still on a PowerPC mac, I should see if it can play on my computer.

  17. “Thumbs middle is pointless. Neutral is not a rating.”
    I think you should give those games the finger. That way you’re delivering a negative assessment *and* giving a big f-u to any potential detractors.
    It’s worked for New Yorkers for decades.

  18. Woah! Are my ears decieving me?! That’s the “inconcievable!” guy from the Princess Bride, isn’t it! He looks all different now…

    And Jeremy, based on this video you are the fattest person I have ever seen ever

  19. I’d use the term ‘blob of protoplasm’, but that doesn’t fit in this case. Its just not good enough. Blobs of protoplasm are more shapely than the amorphous mass of flesh I see before me. I’d practically be calling him ‘svelt’ by calling him a blob of protoplasm.

  20. What I wanna know is, when are you gonna have Seanbaby guest on a “bad old games” episode of retronauts?

  21. So glad you covered Super Potato… that place IS ridiculously awesome. I’m curious as to where Chris was pulling those years from on the soundtracks, though, as most of the stuff in that particular case of music is from at least ten years after he was estimating. Their prices on those soundtracks are also a little iffy… I tend to always see the Suikoden I ost in there for like $150, when you can search around at other places in Akiba and pick it up for $30 new.

  22. “Hey, it took a lot of work to get to “just average”…”

    Who the hell are you? I’m talking about the dumpy clod with the glasses. If I was gonna harsh on you, I’d do it on your website. You can go back to saying ‘inconcievable!’ now.

  23. Hey, so I think you were mentioning Dracula-kun for Famicom in a previous post, possibly your 1-up blog, and i happened to find it at a convention this weekend. But I don’t have a converter for my NES yet. Any recommendations on where to get one online?

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