Le 2006 es morte

2006: a year so crappy I almost didn’t eulogize it. But no. I come to bury 2006, not to praise it. And then jump up and down on its grave, laughing madly all the while. For a quarter, I’ll even let you micturate on the headstone.

Yeah, yeah, calendars are just arbitrary markings of time that affect nothing important. That doesn’t make the new year any less of a relief. The old one was mostly a blur of work stress funneling downward into the low point that was my grandfather’s death. Certainly the latter put the former into proper perspective — it’s hard to get too flustered about work in the wake of something like that. It also made the frothing Parish-hatred of the hikikomori much easier to ignore than ever before — reeling from a genuine loss, I found the childish threats and whining of emotionally underdeveloped shut-ins because I didn’t like a video game to be far too pathetic to be taken personally, or seriously. I suppose that means that for all that 2006 sucked, it was the year I graduated from the Internet. So that’s good.

The new year has started off well. Among other things, former roommate and current famous Atlus localizer Nich Maragos visited over the weekend to celebrate with us. He even brought along a copy of his latest project, Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja. I probably will recuse myself from the 1UP review due to the obvious conflict that stems from having a good friend involved in its development, but I’m certainly not the only “mysterious dungeon” fan on staff, so it should still get fair treatment. I already approve of the localization, if for no other reason than the interrobangs are written as “!?” rather than the ever-annoying “?!”

For those keeping tally, Izuna is right up at the front ranks of low-profile but totally good DS games like Hotel Dusk and Lunar Knights due in the next couple of months. (I think everyone will be surprised by how good Hotel Dusk in particular is.)

Also of note: Talking Time seems to have become a testing ground for people with gaming comics. Good gaming comics, even. I’m pretty sure they’re just doing it because they know I’d like nothing more from life than to become a cartoonist but fall just short of having sufficient talent to make it work out. But at least I can live vicariously through threads like this, wherein Bill Mudron worked out the kinks in his vaguely 1UP-inspired Minus World. (Totally ripping off my idea, I should note.) And then there’s, uh, this. The origin (?) of Nintendo Super Squad. It’s charmingly absurdist. And nerdy.

Anyway. This week’s Retro Roundup is online, and fairly cranky. (Though I was careful to stop short of projecting a whiny sense of entitlement lest my Internet diploma be revoked.) And while there’s no Retronauts podcast this week, there is a blog post. Hotcha.

36 thoughts on “Le 2006 es morte

  1. Now that you mention it. You actualy seem to take stuff way more seriously than before. Your sense of humor is just not here. And with good reason. Write a new prog rock article, to bring back a little bit of the “acidity” that made me read your website. Also, you started doing movie reviews and stuff and then you stopped. I was hoping you would review Rocky Balboa and could make me laugh my ass off for a while. My life is pretty depressing. For reals. Right now I’m just being kept alive by Something Awful (and they are falling short of ideas) and that’s it. I need humor (good and clever) to survive. Give it to me. Write something that makes me laugh. Please.

  2. Right now I’m just being kept alive by Something Awful

    Sir, that’s no kind of life.

  3. Nice to finally see a few more details hit about Izuna. I remember unintentionally running into the first batch of screens when they first hit a month or two back. With a title that goofy, I couldn’t help but take a look. I think the next few months might a see a resurgence in DS purchases for me.

  4. I suppose that means that for all that 2006 sucked, it was the year I graduated from the Internet.

    Can I borrow your notes?

  5. …First he takes credit for Contact, and now the “!?” standard that *I* had to bleed to instate!?

    This will stop now, Nich Maragos!

  6. Wait, wait… interrobang. Interro, then bang.

    Question mark, then exclamation point. Right? At least that’s the way I always played it. All style manuals I have are mute.

    Okay Tomm, convince me that “!?” is worth your blood.

  7. Yeah, Izuna’s pretty awesome. I’ll probably have to knock a couple of points off my review because of Tomm’s dumb Talking Time posts on piracy, though. THAT’LL LEARN EM.

  8. Oh, Tomm doesn’t work at Atlus. In fact, Tomm never worked at Atlus. I hope you enjoyed my localizations of Contact, the Digital Devil Saga games, and Steambot Chronicles.

    We have always been at war with Eurasia.

  9. Hey now! This is what I get for not stumbling onto the Toastyfrog site until AFTER you’d stopped updating Gamespite – if I’d known about it before reading this post, I could’ve done a much more thorough job ripping it off!

    That said, it always sucks to see a good gaming comic (an oxymorom akin to ‘awesome Britney Spears album’) wither on the vine like that. If I can keep Minus World updating on a regular schedule (God knows I’ve had my share of comics fart out after just a few installments), can I then guilt-trip you into knocking out at least a few more Gamespite strips?

  10. Nice 1984 reference, Nich. That’s my favorite book. …wait, or is it?

    as for “!?” it is correct because you are shocked and confused, not excited about how confused you are.

  11. I’ll add my vote to the “Death to 2006” pile. I’m still helping take care of my mom while she recovers from a stroke she had in February. Hardest year of either of our lives. I must’ve clenched every muscle in my body Sunday night waiting for that damn clock to roll over just so I could say we all survived it.

  12. as for “?!” it is correct because you are confused and shocked, not confused about how excited you are.

  13. Good! I didn’t want to assume what the future of the Gamespite comic might be – at least leaves the door open for potential Steven Colbert/Decemberists-styled duel between Gamespite/Minus World someday.

  14. I dunno, I see “?!” as being the sound Tim Allen makes.

    Whereas in “!?” the question mark caps the full statement–because that statement is a question.

    “?!” to me, just sounds like you’re asking a question…then making a noise after it.

  15. The question mark loves the exclamation point and in “!?” is giving it a sexy hug. When it’s written as “?!” the question mark is clearly shunning the exclamation point as their relationship crumbles. So anyone who continues to advocate “?!” is clearly a spiteful bastard who hates love and togetherness.

  16. Woah, the guy in that Minus World strip is reading IT. That’s my favorite Stephen King novel ever. +1000 points.

  17. Hey Parish, what about the Toastyfrog shmup? Is it going to be the Toastyfrog Castlevania/Metroid hybrid game now? Or the Toastyfrog Beat em’ up.

    Hey, if you make it shareware and accept payments through more competent mathods than paypal I mean, whatever.

  18. You won’t find me surprised by how good Hotel Dusk is! From what I’ve read on it it’s going to be FANTASTIC and I can’t wait to play it. With that, Izuna, the second Phoenix Wright game, and if I can get a good deal on Portrait of Ruin (like the brand new $18 FF3, thanks CAG!), my DS library is going to explode in just the first half of 07.

  19. Whereas in “?!” the exclamation point caps the full statement–because that statement is an exclamation.

    “!?” to me, just sounds like you’re exclaiming something…then making a confused head tilt after it.

    Wait. No … I’m wrong!? Parish, you have convinced me!

  20. Can we all at least agree that you don’t put a question mark after statements like “I wonder”?

    Because I want to kick people in the teeth when they write “I wonder?”


  21. Wait, since when has talent been a requirement to becoming a webcartoonist?

    Also, it always annoys me when people who draw far better than I could in a million years complain about their lack of artistic talent. U R DRAW TEH PRETTY PICTURES, TOASTY!

  22. “(Psst, there is a reason I switched the toastyfrog.com domain to gamespite.net)”

    So does that mean that Toastyfrog and Rorita are dead?! (Yeah, that’s right. ‘?!’) Because I still want to make my fangame.

  23. “Can we all at least agree {etc}” … have you forgotten, Tomm? THIS IS THE INTERNET.

    But *I* agree with you.
    Unless it’s in the context of dialog like this:
    “You! You wonder!”
    “I wonder?”
    “Yes, you wonder.”
    “I … wonder?”
    “Don’t even try to deny it, you bastard. I have the brain scans to prove everything!”
    “What are you even talking about?”

  24. I freaking LOVE good video game webcomics. If you were to take it upon yourself to post some more recommendations from time to time, it would be super cool.

    I read most of the obvious ones (PVP, PA, 8-Bit, etc.) but my favorite recent find is F@NBOY$ (www.fanboys-online.com/index.php). You should check it out if you haven’t seen it.

  25. I love F@NBOY$. It’s a genuinely good webcomic. I have been reading it since it’s inception, although I don’t remember how I stumbled on to it. The thing that I think seperates it from many other webcomics is that the characters aren’t just there to tell a joke. They are characters that you come to really care about through some excellent story arcs (unlike some story-based webcomics, *cough..Ctrl-altl-del…cough*). On top of that, it’s also quite funny. Highly reccommended.

  26. I thought we had agreed CAD is mostly trash. Why bother mentioning it?

    Oh, right, this is the Internet. We don’t agree stuff. Sorry.

  27. Can’t someone just quote Wikipedia and put an end to this internet argument!?

    (Wait, should the first ‘I’ in internet be capitalized?)

  28. I thought Wikipedia was evil!!!!?????!!?

    Also, there’s only one “I” in “Internet”.

  29. (Wait, should the first ‘I’ in internet be capitalized?)

    Yes. Otherwise you could be referring to any collection of interconnected networks, rather than the Internet itself.

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