Memoirs from the mirror universe

I’m reviewing Twilight Princess for GameCube, and it is kicking my butt. The culprit: the mirrored game world. Sure, technically the Wii version is mirrored and this was how Hyrule was always meant to be seen, but whatever. I’m using the version I spent 60 hours with as my frame of reference, and the simple fact of the matter is that having the game world completely flipped is making my brain explode. Or implode. Or something.

This game makes me feel like a blind person, and Nintendo came by in the middle of the night and stealthily rearranged my furniture. I see familiar landmarks and veer right when I’m really supposed to go left. I can no longer tell north from south. Link keeps stubbing his toe.

(Also I’m desperately fighting the urge to shake the GameCube controller to attack stuff.)

Wii Parade Update: There may in fact be no ceiling to this thing. I figured 500 Miis would be the limit, but now I’m up to 509. And they just keep coming. It’s actually quite alarming. At some point they’re going to run out of memory space, and that’s when they’ll start pouring out of the system to suffocate me in my sleep.

21 thoughts on “Memoirs from the mirror universe

  1. “I see familiar landmarks and veer right when I’m really supposed to go right.”

    So what’s the problem? Snickersnicker. Anyway, So how’s the game hold up compared to the Wii version? If I have no intention of grabbing a Wii within at least six months, should I go ahead and suck it up and buy the GC version?

  2. Really, doesn’t that just prove my point? I meant “left” but I can’t tell left and right apart.

    You should play this game one way or another.

  3. Does the Wii parade show you 509 Miis simultaneously or do they scroll onto and off of the screen? If it’s the latter then the maximum number could be ridiculously high. Remember that those miis are all small enough to fit on the remote’s 4k of flash memory (probably less, even).

  4. All that did was serve to show us that what the Zelda franchise truly needs is a facial haired evil Link.

  5. Parish think you will rate the GC version different?

    And let the Final Fantasy Tactics 2 for DS happy happy joy parade start

  6. I’m a jerk without a Wii, so I’m loving GCN TP. But thanks for letting me know that when I finalyl DO a get a Wii the Wii version of TP will be well worth a playthrough and a pretty different experience.

    Also: FFT(A?)2 on DS is going to rock SUPER hard.

  7. If I recall, it has to do with Link being left-handed, but to make him right-handed (and thus similar to more players), they reversed it for the motion-sensing Wii version.
    That or I have it backwards. Something to that effect.

  8. “and Nintendo came by in the middle of and stealthily rearranged my furniture”
    In the interest of completeness, I think there should probably be a “the night” stuffed somewhere in the middle of that sentence. Or something like that.
    Oh, and Ice Hockey rules. It’s no Blades of Steel or NHL ’94, but it’s a solid game of hockey.



    (p.s. you no longer have to use periods to do paragraph breaks)

  10. O.K., so, two guys are in a bar and one tells the other: “One day I’ll bring the Fourth Reich and will kill all the Jews and a clown”, and the oter guy asks “Why the clown?” to which the first guy answers “See, no one gives a shit about the Jews”.

  11. That’s kinda sad. But it is true. We are Time’s Magazine Man of The Year. And people make fun of me when I say I would like to kill myself.

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