The Internet tells me that I gave Zelda: Twilight Princess a 9.5 in the upcoming issue of EGM. That’s excellent news — I don’t hand out scores that high frivolously, so Zelda must be great. Now I’m really looking forward to finally playing it, which’ll happen in… oh, tomorrow.
To clarify, the point of this post is not to incite jealousy (which would be silly — although nothing in this world is more fun than exploring a massive game world in two terse, business-like sessions packed with sweaty game journalists and lorded over by NOA reps!) but to have a good chuckle at the Internet’s expense. Oh ho ho, silly Internet.
38 thoughts on “National Geographic presents: Our Informative Internet”
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What, exactly, is holding that fish onto the lure? The hook appears to be gently resting on the side of its mouth. The outside.
I have heard rumors and note with some dismay that this Link appears to be a righty. Please tell us in detail of your epic quest to reconcile this schism in your gamer-soul or acquire rudimentary ambidexterity through playing this game.
Mistakes were made. Apologies. Please fix at earliest convenience.
wii version?
Well those are the awful, shouldn’t be considered next-gen, gamecube 1.5 graphics at work there! It is to laugh!!
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The very notion that I would be horribly envious of you for being able to play the game in-depth is also laughable AT BEST! What, do you think that I have been checking out all of the Wii news on an hourly basis and salivating over all of the “pretty” pictures? What kind of serious fan of gaming gets exited over such a toy? Not this one!
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Seriously, how much do I have to pay you for you to sneak me into that thing?
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You know you’re the one that gave it the 10
Well, this is interesting. I wonder if your act of actually playing the game will affect your score in any way?
Score or not…Parish, please, please tell me this is everything I’ve hoped for. Well, almost everything. I KNOW the combat isn’t going to be any better, and I’ve accepted that into my heart.
But please, Mr. Parish sir, I must know as soon as you do. My Gamecube has been waiting to be played for oh-so-long.
Why is the camera zooming in on Link’s crotch? I thought Nintendo gave up its metrosexual rendition of the character after the last game.
N/A: You still think it’s gonna be released on the GameCube?
I plan on picking up the Gamecube version as well. As a matter of fact, I’m brushing up on the arcane rituals and small animal sacrifice required to nab a copy as I type.
Gah. Why does the uncanny valley have to crop up HERE, of all games?
Uncanny valley? You mean Link’s new eyeliner look? I thought that just meant he’s one step from weeping quietly as he cuts himself.
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I really am curious to see how this game turns out, but I’ve got to say that a two-day marathon in a room full of gaming press under the hawklike scrutiny of NOA representatives is not really the ideal situation. At least we’ll all look like idiots, flailing our Wiimotes around.
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And yes, it’s still coming out on GC. Nintendo confirmed that about a week ago.
jparish: Will it be an on-line exclusive as it is in Japan?
No, it’ll be in stores.
Creepy. I’d never considered that there’d be Nintendo reps pacing back and forth and watching you (probably marking stuff on charts). Sounds like the “war room” that Michael Gambon had going in Toys.
Yeah, it’s pretty common for big games from anal-retentive control-freak creators. (Half-Life 2, Doom 3, MGS3, that sort of thing.) I imagine news of my Yoshi’s Island DS review will leak while I’m up there, so on the second day of the event the reps will probably pause occasionally to hit me with sticks and nailbats while screaming “YOU BASTARD!”
Whatever. I heard there’s a new Sam and Max gave an gametap.com or something. That is exciting. I also hope Fullthrottle 2 gets released. And Link looks like a huge homosexual, faggot, ass pirate on that picture.
“I imagine news of my Yoshi’s Island DS review will leak while I’m up there, so on the second day of the event the reps will probably pause occasionally to hit me with sticks and nailbats while screaming “YOU BASTARD!””
Do I take this to mean that Yoshi’s Island 2 is no good? Sad day.
Take it to mean what you want. It could mean that they hate 10.0s!
“Link looks like a huge homosexual, faggot, ass pirate on that picture.”
Sweet land of liberty of thee I sing…
BTW, is the girl next to Link supposed to be Malon?
I took it to mean they happen to like weapons and obscenities.
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Glass half full.
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Or maybe that Jeremy is planning on participating in a screen test for Use Boll’s newest disasterpiece, Postal.
“Disasterpiece”… *chuckles*
Whomever that girl is supposed to be she seems to have triple the testosteron Link is supposed to have. Unless this is another “you play as Zelda” type of Zelda game. I mean, hey, if people want a gay link, that’s peachy. But a blatantly transexual Link is a completely different story. Will you have to collect rupees to complete the “transformation”. Will the game feature references to Kiss of the Spider Woman? The curiosity is killing me so much that I think I just died. I definetly wont be buying this game.
Well he IS an elf, after all, so I’m assuming they’re supposed to be effeminate. Or is that just Orlando Bloom?
“although nothing in this world is more fun than exploring a massive game world in two terse, business-like sessions packed with sweaty game journalists and lorded over by NOA reps!”
For me this just begs the question of what happens if you don’t finish the game in two sessions, hahaha…
…and the other question is how many games take hits in scores if people are being more or less forced to rush through the damned thing. I guess that’s mostly just RPGs though.
“Well he IS an elf, after all”
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Um, he’s HYLIAN, thank you. Which is different, because, um…Dodongo dislikes smoke?
Link came from Hyrule N.E.S., hitchhiked her way across the N.O.A., plugged her eyebrows along the way, shaved her legs and then he was a she and they said hey elf, take a walk on the wild side, I said hey honey take a walk on the wild side….
Now you’ve gone too far.
Gandalfini: Touche.
Is it just me, or is Link’s little… Night-cap-sock-thingy is looking more and more precariously attached to his head with each incarnation.
Also, I like commenting when it is unnecessary.
Gandalfini-
Really, Link looks about as masculine as any given Sims character. If you plastered on a 5 O’clock shadow onto him, he’d look more-or-less like a man. But if you need more “ruggedness” in your protagonists consider this: Assuming that all of the press generated before it was announced as a Wii launch is accurate, there is a mode where Link is a burly wolf-thing. He will not just have hair on his face, chest, underarms, and elsewhere, but will instead have hair everywhere. That’s got to count for something.
Maybe it’s just me, but I find this version of Link to be incredibly sexy. However, being a lady, my opinion might differ from that of others posting here. If the popularity of Orlando Bloom’s Legolas is any indication at all, this is a look that many other ladies like.
Also, I’m hoping you can change his dominant hand based on yours with the Wii controller. I’d rather not be stuck as a righty for the whole game.
“The Internet tells me that I gave Zelda: Twilight Princess a 9.5 in the upcoming issue of EGM. That’s excellent news — I don’t hand out scores that high frivolously, so Zelda must be great.”
Yeah – I thought you never went higher than “8.5!”.
QPCES: Jeremy goes to 11! (Sorry, bad Working Designs joke…)
I must say thumbs up to FFXII, its the best one in years. Like in over a decade.
…”Working Designs”? Oh, dear.
If they were aiming for a ‘realistic’ style (in fantasyland), they could have gone all the way and made the eyes small and proportional, not huge anime saucers.
TheSL – guess I should get around to picking up my pre-ordered copy, then. ;) I politely declined Gamestop’s invitation to come pick it up at midnight last night. I mean, I’m sure the game will be totally great, but I just can’t get so excited about release dates these days. An excellent game today will still be excellent next week. Or in other words, I guess I’m just old and crotchety.
If they were aiming for realism… I’d cry. They’re borderline as it is, as noted the old uncanny valley is creeping in. Anyway, it’s supposed to be stylised, and it is Japanese after all, so the saucer eyes are to be expected.