30 thoughts on “The dawning of a new era of cliches

  1. Pandas are always good. What about penguins? Those would work, wouldn’t they?

    On second thought, probably not. Since I suggested them and I get -600 points every day because I have ovaries.

  2. mr. parish,

    although i amicably disagree with you on a 50/50 basis, this is not one of those times.

    this was the most refreshing and well-deserved piece of “cut my wrists and black my eyes” angst since Penny Arcade’s first puncuation comic.

    but the internet isn’t the only place where such “Just-Add-Sprites” comedy has gone on for way, way too long.

    my girlfriend’s sister, who is several years her senior, still loves monkey jokes (also she loves taking pictures of flowers. on FILM.). gf and i want to die, unless she moves out soon. the worst part is that i’m the same age as her sister, so i feel guilty by generational association.

    Paul Frank and his career can basically suck it as well.

  3. Warcraft’s been using the panda bit since 2004, and they really, really want to think that it’s funny. They almost succeed on occasion, but the only memorable thing that they ever did with it was Pandaren Express. Unfortunately, they’re not just going to leave well enough alone, and will kill it as hard as any of the aforementioned in a couple of years. however, Kingdom of Loathing was just recently discovered to have a Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot familiar, and anything that shoots toast out of its pelvis is pretty rad. That should be the new thing to drag into the ground… pelvis-ejected toast!

  4. Ugh, and I completely forgot that some of PVP’s worst strips are the recurring “panda attack” non-sequitur comics. Tarepanda’s good, though.

    OK, so pandas are out. But the noble platypus? That’s comedy.

  5. Laserdiscs are simply filling the long-forgotten role of Beta videos. Records used to be similar catagory but people actually still enjoy a good vinyl.

  6. Clearly, the solution is Catherine the Great wielding a platypus. They do have poison spines and all, so she could probably use them to defeat ninjas. Or cavemen. Whichever.

    Unrelatedly, I just noticed the rad feature of your blog that shows a thread’s commenter names when mousing over the comments link. Nifty. Though of limited scalability. But I suspect you’d have a siezure if you got hundreds of comments on a single blog post anyway.

  7. Pandas can still be funny but, tragically, I instantly associate them with gluttonous martial artists who are negligent parents to multi-enganged aquatranssexuals.

    …and with the “Save the Pandas!” guy from We Love Katamari. OK, maybe they’re not that funny after all.

  8. Man, I can’t think of platypi anymore without thinking of Terry Pratchett’s “Why The Platypus”. Heh.

    I did not know that about Catherine the Great. I demand to know why they don’t teach us these things in high school history class! (No don’t answer that.)

  9. Catherine the Great… Not actually Russian (German or Sweedish, I dunno for sure, but not Russian ever though she was their ‘Enlightened Despot’)

  10. Bah! Rasputin is a much funnier Russian personality than Catherine the Great. Even the name Rasputin is more eccentric than ‘[anything] the great’. I just want to say his name over and over because he is so cool.

  11. I didn’t want to “correct” Jeremy cause it’s a well-known legend about the queen and all that he was just referencing, but just so other people don’t get the wrong idea: Catherine the Great died in bed of a heart attack. The horse-goinking thing was a bit of slander put about by her enemies after her death, and caught on.

  12. And what about human bomb muslims and baby eating jews? They are soooo 2K6. And Mr. Spock, no one ever mentions the know it all wise Vulcan/humanoid alien. And the brave astronaut from texas who accidentaly falls into a wormhole? That cliché has been only used in Planet of The Apes and FarScape, so is not so tired and true like zombies.

    Dr. McNinja is awesome by the way.

  13. Ah so. Should’ve guessed.

    And yes, Rasputin is much more interesting. Especially when he’s being played by Alan Rickman.

  14. How about wombats? The unjustifiably obscure PC game Evolution chose wombats as one of the five species that could possibly evolve sentience simply because, and I might be paraphrasing a bit, “wombats are cool.” I agree, and they seem to be an underexploited niche in humor, both on Internet and off.

  15. The wombat lives across the seas
    Among the far antipodes
    It may subsist on nuts and berries
    Or, then again, on missionaries
    Its distant habitat precludes
    Conclusive knowledge of its moods
    But I would not engage the wombat
    In any form of mortal combat.

  16. RE: Platypus- When I think of it I think of the artist PLATYPUS MONSTER (FORMERLY KNOWN AS PINK FAIRY LOTUS) and then I think of her drawings of Mable Able engaged with tentacles and Sonic the Hedgehog engaged in multiple acts of rape. And then I get sad :(

  17. I concur with pandas being old. However, I’ve never found pirates even remotely humorous. Must be some sort of mental condition I have… like good taste… At any rate, I support Catherine over Rasputin. She has a few more obscure points, which vastly increases the humor factor, and allows for her to be a recurring humor piece more unique to the site, until it becomes popular enough to be copied into mundanity. Cavemen, as draw here, are okay, but B.C.’s ruined them for me. Knights… eh. Astronauts can be exceptioanll humorous, depending on how they’re used. I’m surprised they haven’t been tapped into more…

  18. One instance in which Astronauts were used was in the Upright Citizens Brigade television show, in which they were depicted as some sort of ostracized minority.
    “At least we don’t have any filthy astronauts living around here.”

  19. I’m so eternally grateful that I’m not the only person on the planet who finds the monkey obsession annoying. Ninjas… I still kind of like, but I’ll admit their novelty has worn out.

    And yes, platypi are a good way to go, though I think there needs to be more jokes involving a mongoose or two.

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