Verbal Spew

The times, they are a-stayin' the same

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:46:00 -0800

It's a new year, but I'm afraid that I have to be the harbringer of bad news to all those console loyalists lurking about the margins. If you're hoping for a major turnaround, you're probably going to have to wait until next generation.

I hit upon this realization while I was writing this article. The news itself isn't much more than guesswork, but I do think it's at least reasonable to assume that an unholy number of Wiis were sold this past holiday season. After that there's the Nintendo DS and pretty much everything else. Last year was the year that the trends had a chance to shift, and Sony and Microsoft seemed to know it. They went all in with price cuts, fancy redesigns and innovative first-party software. And what did they have to show for it? Microsoft moved up a couple percentage points, and Sony seems to be losing more ground all the time.

As a stubborn GameCube owner during the last generation, I can certainly empathize with the frustration of the roving PlayStation and Xbox fanboy mob. I was in pretty much the same position in 2003, watching as Nintendo slashed prices and started offering Legend of Zelda pack-in bundles, wondering why attitudes and sales numbers weren't getting any better.The thing is though, it seems like the third year of any generation is about the time that trends solidify and consumers pretty much make their final decision. From my vantage point, the average citizen is aware of the Wii and only the Wii (well, they might be aware of the Xbox 360 too), and that's what they're going to get for their kids. Outside of that, there's the Nintendo DS and even the PSP. The poor, clumsy, overly expensive PS3 seems to be getting lost in the shuffle.

Personally, I'm kind of surprised that it's gotten to this point with the PS3. I had figured that fortunes would reverse, the Wii would taper off, and all three systems would hit some sort of equilibrium. Instead, the ailing economy and the general expense seem to have kept consumers away, and developers just haven't had the time or energy to put a significant amount of money into the developing for the "lesser SKU." I'd say that it's the GameCube all over again, but Nintendo was at least turning a profit.

Not being the type of person to own every console at once (I'm cheap), these trends unfortunately put me in the position of having to make a tough choice. I would ordinarily go with the PlayStation brand because it generally has the support of Japanese developers, but that doesn't seem to be the case this time around. It looks like they're all headed to the Wii, the DS, the PSP and even the 360. Which means that the PS3 will be the odd one out for me. It makes me kind of sad knowing that I'll be missing Fat Princess. And, of course, this just means that I'll be cursing life itself as Banpresto announces a PS3 Super Robot Wars in a year or two (or a few months, you never know what they have up their sleeve).

You know me, even when I side with the "winning" systems, I'm apparently the loser. I guess there are just no easy choices anymore.

Add to Queue 72: Shades of truth

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:02:00 -0800

Media | A2Q Archives | A2Q #72 | January 6, 2009

Featured Title: Pineapple Express

Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg, the pair behind Superbad, wrote The Pineapple Express; additionally, the movie was produced by America's current comedy it-guy, Judd Apatow. It's no secret than I'm an Apatow fan (even if I don't love everything he's put his name on), and while I didn't think Pineapple Express was quite as good as Superbad, I still enjoyed it. It was a treat for a long-time Apatow fan like me to see James Franco, so effective in Apatow's seminal comedy television series Freaks and Geeks, returning to a comedic role. Overall, though, this movie didn't resonate with me as much as Superbad did -- while I can relate to the awkward teens in the earlier film, I don't have much in common with the lovable stoners in this movie. You might like it more than I did, especially if you're not a teetotaler like me, but either way it's still a fine film that's well worth the time it takes to watch it.

Also Out This Week

Apparently the first week after the holidays was designated the official dumping ground for disappointing studio films. Babylon AD, Bangkok Dangerous, and Righteous Kill were all released to critical animosity and audience indifference. The Wackness looks to be one of the first movies to come out hoping to exploit '90s nostalgia. I think I'd rather not watch VH1's "I Love the '90s!" instead. Dexter: Season One, Friday Night Lights and especially the Criterion Collection's The Last Emperor are the real gems hitting Blu-ray this week.

Thanks for reading Add to Queue, a weekly round-up of US Blu-ray release highlights written for Gamespite by Levi Tinney. Sorry, rest of the world; region locks are the industry's way of saying they still don't understand the Internet. Cover art courtesy of Amazon. There are few things as fetching as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel. . Follow Levi on Twitter. Add Levi to your PSN or XBL friends list: VsRobot. You can also contact him via e-mail via levivsrobot [at] gmail [dot] com.

GameSpite Issue 12.3: Leaving luck to the heavens

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:34:00 -0800

The holidays are over, and I suppose it's back to slaving over a gaggle of websites every waking moment for me. To demonstrate how I've accepted my grim fate, please accept this, the first GameSpite update of 2009. Continuing Issue 12 is a weirdly Nintendo-focused update. I say weirdly because there's not even a hint of NES or Super NES about this update. Bizarre! What other freakish new phenomena does the new year hold for us?

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
You know, if I'd posted this in a more timely fashion, it would have made a pretty decent 10th anniversary commemoration of the first 3D Legend of Zelda outing. But alas! You'll have to settle for it a few months late. Don't worry, though; my tardiness doesn't diminish the author's gushing fanboyism for the game.

Wave Race: Blue Storm
And at the other extreme, we have a look back at the third Wave Race title that's...also full of gushing fanboyism. Ah, but the thing about Blue Storm is that this is the only positive article that's ever been written about the game, whereas everybody's all "Oh Ocarina of Time is just so special." Revel in the iconoclasm!

Going postal

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 23:15:00 -0800

And the first customized hardcover copy of GameSpite Year One, Vol. 1 is complete and ready to hit the mail for one Kurt Adam, who was the first to plop down his filthy blood money to transform webpages into physical printed matter. By request: a very literal Retronaut, and one with very little fear of explosive decompression. This one should be bounding its way slowly through 1/6 earth-standard gravity to the post office tomorrow morning. Only 30-something to go.

Covering Macworld Expo is going to make a mess of my week, but I should be sending out quite a few of these in the coming days. Oh, and the Internet-based, new-content-providing aspect of GameSpite will be resuming its normal routine very soon.

The 2008 review revue, part eight

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 23:16:00 -0800

It's 2009, but I'm not done with this 2008 thing yet. Because apparently my new modus operandi in life is to run behind with all the things I schedule for myself. Although I suppose it's not always my fault -- for instance, I was planning to mail out the first batch of GameSpite Vol. 1 yesterday, but the fact that it was pissing rain put a crimp in that plan (since said plan involved toting open boxes of books in paper envelopes five blocks to the post office). And so I run slow, as ever, with reviewing my reviews...or non-reviews, as in this case.

Grand Theft Auto IV | Rockstar North/Take 2 | PC/PS3/XB360 | Criminal sandbox
I gave it: (Didn't review it) | In retrospect, I would have given it: C+, maybe B-

I started writing this entry while I was at my sister's house watching my brother-in-law play Crackdown. This made me sad for two reasons. One, because he was the one playing Crackdown, not me, and Crackdown is the sort of game that's far more entertaining when you're the one at the controller. And two, because I was writing about Grand Theft Auto IV, the latest in a series that was far more entertaining before its creator split off to go create Crackdown.

GTA is one of those series that used to strike me as self-consciously crass, a naked attempt to gather attention through juvenile shock value and amateurish parody. Which it is! But once I actually tried GTA III, I realized that all of those things are a distraction from GTA's real point, which is freedom. DMA Designs' created in GTA a giant, city-shaped playground with lots of fun toys for creating mayhem, encouraging violence so over-the-top and unrealistic that it ceased to be objectionable and became simply fun. And though GTA III did offer a definite story-driven progression through the game, no one really cared: the only thing the plotline really accomplished was to unlock new areas and new toys. GTA's brilliance lay in the fact that it was entertaining no matter how you played it -- even if you went about it completely wrong, in fact.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the way that original vision was lost, and with GTA IV the entire series' purpose has been inverted. Now freedom is a secondary consideration, and the amateurish plotline and heavy-handed parody/homage/rip-off are the point. That's a shame, because those have never been the series' strengths...much as its creators would like to think so.GTA IV's shortcomings are subtle and not immediately obvious, which makes them all the more frustrating. They only grow apparent with extended play, which is why it took me a good 30 hours to finally become fed up with game and shelve it. 30 hours is how long it took for me to realize that the little nagging irritants were never going to go away, that I'd never be allowed to simply enjoy GTA IV the way I'd enjoyed its predecessors, because Rockstar was more concerned with impressing their amazing writing on me than they were with giving me an open world to enjoy.

This isn't to say GTA IV doesn't have an open world. On the contrary! Its condensed version of New York City is detailed and gorgeously realized. It's also stultifyingly dull -- although that fact isn't immediately obvious, because most of the city is partitioned off and you're usually occupied fielding all the nonsensical busywork the game throws at you when you're not on a mission. Somewhere along the way, Rockstar got it in their heads that what gamers really want from their prize franchise is a sort of ultra-violent version of The Sims, so antihero Nico Bellic spends most of his time being nagged at by clingy, unlikable friends or being goaded into having tepid online romances with female cutouts whose personality profiles read like a compilation of every discarded joke dredged from the cutting room floor of Married...With Children. You're technically free to go anywhere and do anything you want, as in previous GTAs, but the difference is that this time you're not allowed to enjoy it. Managing Nico's social life is an expanded version of the annoying gang wars in San Andreas, except that the turf wars were only a minor portion of Carl Johnson's adventure and went away once you left Los Santos. Nico, however, gets more and more guilt-inducing phone calls as his story progresses and more and more deadbeat idiots cling to him. Want to go find amazing automobile jumps, round up the obligatory collectables or just cause hilarious mayhem? Fine, but Rockstar is gonna make sure you feel guilty about it. They paid a lot of money for those voice actors and boring comedy routines, and by god you're going to sit through every scrap of incidental dialogue or else you're going to be reminded every few minutes that you're a horrible, neglectful person. Meanwhile, the city itself lacks much in the way of interesting things to do -- stunts and jumps are difficult to find -- and the focus on more realistic road systems makes getting around a real hassle. An uninspiring hassle. Too much emphasis is placed on a few major cross-town arteries, meaning players traverse the same boring roads and pay the same stupid tolls over and over again, while the side streets offer little compelling reason to explore them -- and plenty of nagging disincentive to make the effort in the first place.

If the GTA series has had a single debilitating flaw since its inception, that flaw has been the weird disconnect between missions and everything else. Missions tend to be boring, or frustrating, or else focus too much on underdeveloped gameplay mechanics. The greatest hope I've had for the franchise is that Rockstar would bridge that divide and make the missions more consistent with the open world joy that surrounds them...and GTA IV does move in the direction, sort of. But it goes about it all wrong. Rather than making the missions as good as everything else, GTA IV makes everything else as dull as the missions. And the missions are even worse here than usual -- repetitive, unimaginative, and drawn out.

Worst of all, the game's compulsory missions are a poor fit for the compulsory story. The game begins with Nico lamenting his sins and hoping to make a clean break from his murderous past by coming to America...where he promptly begins killing all sorts of schlubs like it ain't no thing. Every once in a while, players are given a prompt that can allow them to spare a life, but these few opportunities seem awfully hollow when you're gunning down cannon fodder goons left and right with nary a compunction. Nico has incredible potential as a character, but it's utterly squandered: he's a cipher, an amoral blank who treats his friends, family and lovers like crap yet sits in surly judgment of everyone he meets. He trots out his sob story as the plot dictates, but his supposed regrets seem to have little bearing on his actions.

I'll say this for GTA IV, though: it probably is the closest thing gaming has ever seen to a Hollywood production. Not because of its production values or Oscar-worthy writing, though. Rather, it's video game as subpar Tarantino flick: it goes over the top with its violence and crassness, but ultimately is too bloated by its own smirky, self-satisfied sense of cleverness to transcend its failings and justify its excesses. Somewhere deep inside GTA IV is a real Grand Theft Auto game struggling to be free, but that masterpiece of gaming is imprisoned by myopic mandate of corporate overlords who don't really understand why the billion-dollar property they inherited was so brilliant to begin with. Utterly disappointing.

RPGs or everything else, but not both

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 14:09:00 -0800

I never owned a PS2, so when I picked up a backwards-compatible PS3 I initially started collecting all the well-known RPG games I missed. I had a shelf full of games that included Nocturne, Digital Devil Saga, Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, Final Fantasy XII, Rogue Galaxy, Dragon Quest VIII, et al. As more and more next gen games were released I found myself never getting around to playing my "backlog," as it were. When my gaming time is limited, devoting dozens of hours to a single RPG just wasn't as appealing as knocking out four or five titles in other genres within the same timeframe. Also, with action or puzzle or sports games I can multitask, and listen to audio books or podcasts while I play. Since so many RPGs are filled with text and/or voiced narrative it's impossible to do that same thing.

Eventually, I just gave up and sold all the games that made me feel bad for not playing them. What's the use of having a shelf full of games if you're never going to get to them?

I think my main problem was that I am something of a gaming dilettante. I like a wide variety of games and I like to play everything that's current. For me, part of the fun of this hobby is the community, and much of the discussion in the community hinges on being familiar with what's "hot". There are, of course, niches you can insert yourself into. For example, on this very website is a forum full of people who are perfectly happy discussing old RPGs from the previous era. So if I really wanted, I could give up my addiction to the new and shiny and focus on old games. There are plenty of places online where I could find a supportive group of people to discuss those games with. So why don't I?Maybe I'm using this as an excuse, but I work in games retail, and it is very difficult not to bring the new shinies home with me every week. My customer base is full of people who are also only about the new and the hot, and it'd be hard to relate to them if I were going home every night and playing a MegaTen game, ignoring the new releases. Plus, I enjoy the writing and podcasts that come out of sites like 1UP, Giant Bomb, and Gamers with Jobs, and much of those podcasts assume a familiarity with what is new and what is coming soon. Because I consume so much game media, and because part of my job is to build hype for an upcoming game at the store level, it is very difficult not to be a part of it.

It helps that cost isn't that much of an issue for me. Between free rentals and the freebies publishers send me, I've got access to more games than I could ever play. I might not have gotten past the first few interminable hours of Persona 3 (I have to join the swim team in high school? Really? I just want to fight monsters), but I played every single non-RPG major release this entire year, and many of the minor ones as well.

Sometimes I almost miss the days when I was a kid, and I only had two new games a year to play. One for Christmas, and one for my birthday. I played trash like the NES version of Back to the Future for dozens of hours just because that's all I had. I feel like I'd get more out of the games I played if I could devote more time to them, instead of breezing through them to add a notch to my bedpost before moving on to my next conquest. I finished the stories in Dead Space and Prince of Persia, but if I didn't have other games I could go back and finish upgrading all the weapons or collecting all the lightseeds. I am actually annoyed when a game has too much content, because it's keeping me from moving on to the rest of my list.

I feel like I should stop and smell the roses, and this small lull before Street Fighter IV seems like a great time to go back and squeeze a few more hours out of games that I finished. On the Talking Time forums, someone is proposing a moratorium on new game purchases until March. I agree with the sentiment, and wish I could do that, but I can't not get new games: they just show up sometimes. Also, in February I'll be dabbling in Godfather II, Fear 2, and Skate 2 inbetween Street Fighter IV sessions.

I might not ever get the comprehensive gaming literacy I missed when I was either a Nintendo-only gamer (during the 64 era) or a lapsed gamer(missed most of 2000-2006), but on the bright side, in 20 years I'm going to be an expert on the retro that is going on all around us right now. That's right, I'm a Future-Retronaut.

Back in the USA

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 09:15:00 -0800

The image above is what I see when I look out the window. A nice, snowy Minneapolis street. It's where I'll be spending the next month or so, acclimating myself to the States before I pick up and move to San Francisco. Good old Minnesota.

With me are a stack of games to play and several packages of Sour Patch Kids, both of which should go a long way toward keeping me busy for a while. I've got Chrono Trigger on my DS, Bleach: Soul Carnival and Super Stardust Portable on my PSP, Persona 3: FES on my PS2 and Far Cry 2 and BioShock on my PC -- two shooters that are making their to their computer. You might be surprised to know that they are joined by Half-Life 2. This is my attempt at pretending that I'm a well-rounded gamer. Also, actually being able to access certain content (like, you know, BioShock) has a way of loosening your purse strings a bit.

It's for that reason, at least, that I'm happy to be back in America. When you don't have access to something for a few years, it tends to get elevated to the status of myth in your head. Thus, good Mexican, certain items on Steam, root beer and timely new movies (see my tragically belated reviews of Iron Man and Wall-E) are all making a welcome return to my life. Of course, I'm also bidding goodbye to friends, decent sushi, and a population of nerds who rank the original Mobile Suit Gundam next to the likes of Star Wars (that is, the good Star Wars). I'll be feeling the pain whenever I get a craving for okonomiyaki.But having lived on what feels like the moon for the past few years, I feel like I've gained a new appreciation for America, and really I think that's one of the most important things that you can take away from living in another country. There was the fun and the aggravation, stores filled with dozens of variations on Gundam and Monster Hunter, packed trains and Japanese news commentators trying to explain "lipstick on a pig" with the help of hand puppets. And somewhere along the line, I got to know wild and crazy Japan a little better. I imagine that all the giant robots had something to do with it.

Of course, being in America won't stop me from writing about Japan (quite a bit, I imagine). And there's always TGS in the fall, provided that I can badger the right people into letting me go. Until then, I've got a 2009 with a new career, a new state and a ton of new games to think about. With luck, it'll be every bit as successful as my last couple years, plus a little extra. And as for you, hey, play a game and go somewhere you've never been before. Who knows? You might even like it. Until then, I'm looking forward to writing a whole hell of a lot about video games. Here's to a happy and successful new year.

Ringing in the new with the old

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:01:00 -0800

Somehow I ended up kicking off the new year by playing Super Mario Bros. 2. After watching everyone else flail around for half an hour trying to get past world 1-2, I jumped in and powered through a few stages, building up a healthy stock of lives before handing the controller back. They burned through all those 1UPs in five minutes and it was game over. Man, I hope this isn't how the rest of the year goes.

Flash before my eyes

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 11:26:00 -0800

As far back as I can remember, I�ve liked listening to metal. It isn�t the only genre of music I listen to, but it�s definitely one of my favorites. Imagine my surprise, then, when my best friend shot me a link to 8-bit Metallica songs:

...I suddenly feel like I understand a lot more about myself as a person, thanks to this. You have no idea how happy this makes me.

2008: This is happy end!

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:56:00 -0800

A good end to a crappy year: GameSpite Year One, Vol. 1 arrived today. Someone mentioned in the comments for my last update on the book's status that the listed weight of 16 lbs. seemed a bit light for a box containing more than a hundred 350-page books, and it turns out they were partially correct. The box was 16 lbs. But it was the smallest of seven boxes.

Uh, yeah. I guess I didn't really appreciate the sheer scale of this operation until I saw a palette of books waiting for me at the office.

I brought home a batch of hardcovers to start doing custom sketches, but I confess there's no way I'll be able to ship all of these out right away. I'll be mailing books in the order in which they were purchased and hopefully should have everything distributed by the middle of January -- except, of course, for books ordered after the initial print run was accounted for. I'll have to do a second printing on those, and they'll arrive in February.

Logistical nightmares aside -- I'll definitely be taking a different approach to distribution with Vol. 2 -- this is a great way to close out 2008. The books look fantastic. I don't think anyone will be disappointed! Hopefully.

See you in 2009.

Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a good flight

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:55:00 -0800

I'm pretty sure that after having a miserable flight across the country last Christmas, I asked you people to remind me not to fly at the holidays. But you didn't! So while I was able to see lots of beloved relatives, do various family things to make sure my fianc�e and I are properly engaged according to Vietnamese standards, and have a generally fantastic week, I also had to put up with yesterday. And all because you people failed me. For shame.

Yesterday's flight, which was supposed to be a quick three-hour jaunt from DFW to SFO, was a carefully-planned test by the airlines to see just how far they could push their luck without doing anything that would actually justify a refund. Tricky devils. The coup de grace was when they almost (but not quite!) lost my luggage: it didn't show up on the conveyer belt, it wasn't in the rows of misplaced suitcases, but once I was good and angry and had stood in line for a few minutes to report the problem they paged me a split second before I could get to the customer service desk and demand justice. Diabolical.

Anyway, I'm back in San Francisco where the water is potable straight from the tap. That's nice! Growing in Texas, I never appreciated just how disgusting the water there really is. But going back after five years living here, I've discovered Lubbock water tastes like chlorine and Dallas water smells and tastes like mildew. Yum.

On the plus side, I did find Prince Albert in a can. And being the good soul that I am, I let him out.

Return of the mysterious kitty-bunny

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 08:52:00 -0800

Some of you have asked me how the Mysterious Kitty-Bunny has been doing. If you're not caught up, I wrote about her here. The short version, we found a sickly, starving small kitten living with our rabbits, eating their rabbit feed and attempting to nurse from them. Underweight and anemic, she was adorably heartbreaking and apparently under the delusion that she was a rabbit. Since then, she has moved inside to live with me and my wife and the other cats, and she's got a round little tummy and a feisty disposition.

I had been calling her KB, after Kitty-Bunny, but when it came time to give her a proper name I chose Kiki, both because it sounds similar to what she was used to me calling her and because it's a character from one of my favorite anime films. She lives in an oversize animal carrier when my wife and I aren't around because of her tendency to try and climb to the top of everything and chew everything to bits. I've already lost three pairs of headphones to her sharp little teeth. She's made friends with my cat Popeye, another foundling who lost an eye to a virus and was abandoned by his mama near my yard, and the two of them tear through the house at impossible speeds playing like, well, kittens. She hasn't forgotten her bunny heritage, though: Kiki still gets excited whenever she sees a bunny, and the other day we caught her... well, see for yourself:

I might like depressing endings in my movies, but when it comes to my animals, it's happy endings all the way. I can't think of a happier ending than a full belly and a contented purr.