Thumbnail Theatre: Akira Part 1
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Tetsuo: Kaneda has The. Best. Bike. Ever. |
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Kaneda: Stop being so Freudian, Tetsuo. When my closest friend starts envying the sleek, powerful machine between my legs, there's bound to be trouble later on. |
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Tetsuo: I don't envy you! Look, I can maul armed bikers wearing embarrassing face paint just as well as you. |
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Takeshi: Eep. |
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Tetsuo: Granted, I'm not so good at handling creepy little wizened blue kids standing harmlessly in the middle of the road. |
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Kaneda: Tetsuo, are you OK? Who's this freaky kid? And why don't these helicopters make noise until after they've been hovering overhead for several minutes? |
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Colonel: RARR NUMBERS. |
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Kaneda: Whoa, it's an unattractive, vaguely mannish girl. I'm in love. |
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Kei: Bugger off. |
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Kaneda: She even acts like a man. Mmm baby. |
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Colonel: GRRR AKIRA. |
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Tetsuo: I am not an animal! I am a human being! |
Kaori: And I am the nicest, most gentle person on earth. | |
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Tetsuo: I'll express my appreciation for your charm by nearly letting you be molested by other bikers, then shouting at you when you treat me with compassion. |
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Colonel: BLEARGH TETSUO. |
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Kei: "Neo-Tokyo is about to E-X-P-L-O-D-E!" ...and I'm the one to blame. Tee hee. |
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Kaneda: Hey baby, can I come along? |
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Kei: OK, fine. Since fate, or a badly contrived plot, keeps causing us to run into one another, you can join my tiny and never fully explained cel of rebels. |
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Kaneda: Mmm, fomenting revolution is almost as sexy as boyish teen girls who sound like 40-year-old mothers. |
Toys: Yarp, yarp yarp | |
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Tetsuo: Uh... |
Toys: Yarp, yarp yarp yarp DOO DOOM DOO DOOM DOO DOOM DOO DOOM | |
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Tetsuo: Weird, deadly dreams suck. Alright, freaky kids, you're going down. |
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Kiyoko: Um... Akira! |
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Kaneda: Tetsuo, I've come to help! |
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Tetsuo: Piss off, you cocky smeghead. |
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Kaneda: What? This, after I survived the most asinine action sequence ever to save you? I knew that bike was symbolic of some kind of deep-seated resentment. TETSUO! |
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Tetsuo: KANEDA!! |
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Kaneda: TETSUOOO!!! |
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Tetsuo: KANEDAAAAA!!!! |
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Kei: Would you two like some time alone and a private room, perhaps? |
Lackey: You've been sacked, Colonel. | |
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Colonel: ROAR! You can't strip me of my rank, because then I wouldn't have a name. KILL. |
Lackey: OK, fine, but was the gutshot necessary? Ow. |
Back to Thumbnail Theatre | Next: To Part 2