Games | Weekly Game Releases | Week of January 8th, 2008: Welcome to the triumphant return of New Game Plus! After a few weeks away, relaxing during the release-free holiday lull, we're back with a doozy of a list. Well, a relative doozy.

List compiled by reibeatall and Sarcasmorator | Posted January 7th, 2008

Game of the week | Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

I'll take the case!

It's a Harvey Birdman game that plays similarly to Phoenix Wright, which should pretty much sell itself. You know, if you have any clue what those respective franchises are about. Get your power of habeas corpus ready.

Editor's note: Just kidding! There's no such thing as habeas corpus anymore. Since this is a work of fantasy, though, it apparently doesn't include a waterboarding minigame.

Also appearing in stores

NFL Tour
The newest direction for the NFL Street franchise. More football written in the language of tha streetz. Our guess is that this means you score "tizzouchdowns" and "mack" on the "fly honeys" between innings. Er, periods? Rounds? One of those.

Editor's note: Going by the anguished shouts of people I've seen playing this at 1UP HQ, it might actually be the worst video game ever made.

Dance Dance Revolution: Disney Channel Edition
Finally, just what we've always wanted: a Bemani game that ofers some truly great music! Forget that J-pop crap, this here's the real deal. Jam to tunes from Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Cheetah Girls, and more. You could totally have a slumber party and talk about how cute Zak Efron is. Or how hunky Patrick Swayze is.

Editor's note: I've never heard of a Cheetah Girl, but if they're not related to the Cheetahmen I for one will be sorely disappointed.

Kingdom Under Fire: Circle of Doom
Most people don't remember the Kingdom Under Fire series. The games were a mash-up of real-time strategy and hack-n-slash, and they were incredibly hard. When they announced CoD, all 14fans got excited, until they heard it was straight-on dungeon crawler game, similar to the Champions of Norrath series. Then they just shrugged.

It's got co-op, though, so that should sate the appetites of hack-n-slash fans. Maybe.

Editor's note: Hack-n-slash fans can sate their appetites by eating crap. I just suffered through Dungeon Explorer on both DS and PSP and now I hate you people for causing these games to be created.

Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
The standard mascot-turned-racer sequel game. Of course, the original Sonic Riders wasn't very good. Heck, hardly any Sonic games since the pre-9/11 days have been any good, so don't expect this one to be either.

Editor's note: It was a sad day when Sega left the hardware business, but as it stands now the day they drop out of the software business will be quite welcome indeed.

Talk about how crappy these games are!