Games | Weekly Game Releases | Week of Sept. 4, 2007: There's not much due this week, what with Labor Day. And the industry having worn itself out with the past few weeks' wild orgy of high-profile releases. These next few days should provide a welcome deluge of mediocrity.

List compiled by reibeatall and Sarcasmorator | Posted 20XX, 2007

Game of the week | John Woo's Stranglehold

Chow Yun Fat reprises the role of Inspector Tequila (of Hard Boiled? fame) in a tale of revenge. After his partner is murdered, Tequila searches for the killer, delving into the shadowy underbelly of Hong Kong. This game plays exactly like you'd imagine a John Woo movie would if it were mixed with Max Payne?, complete with Bullet Time Tequila Time. (Which, despite the name, has nothing to do with Spring Break.) On the fence about which of the many versions to get? Let us help. The game is due in both regular and collector's editions for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. The 360 versions come out this week while the PS3 versions have to wait until the 25th -- assuming they're not pushed back again. But! The PS3 collector's version actually comes with a Blu-ray version of Hard Boiled as well. The Xbox 360 collector's version is, well, a joke, basically scamming you out of ten bucks. Of course, if you only have one system, then your choice is already made.

Also appearing in stores

Medal of Honor: Airborne

Can this slowly-fading franchise make a much needed comeback against Call of Duty?? While other games in the series have offered nothing but the same gameplay and gimmicks in different locations, Airborne changes things up a bit. At the beginning of each level, you jump out of a plane and parachute down to wherever you want on the map. Not only is this a cool concept, it also has strategic value; you can land on a buildingtop and have an advantage over those Nazi rats. Of course, after the landing you're pretty much stuck in yet another Medal of Honor game. Which could be good or bad, depending on your tolerance level for same-y World War II shooters.

Worms 2: Open Warfare

The latest release in the long running Worms franchise. The gameplay hasn't changed much; you command a group of worms with various types of guns, you angle your shots, power them up, and shoot. Why worms, exactly? That, friends, is a mystery for the ages.

Pool Party

All right! It's time to celebrate the last days of summer! We'll just grab some beers, get the barbecue started, blow up the water wings and get ready to rub suntan lotion all over those sexy -- wait, what? What!? Billiards? Aw, dammit.

World Championship Paintball

Every shooter, whatever else it aspires to be, is at its core just a simulation of, well, gunplay. So it's hard to think of a video game more redundant than one based on paintball. And yet, here we are, with a simulation of a real-world game that simulates shooting people. Playing games this meta is kinda like getting stuck in a recursive loop, which is kinda like getting stuck in a recursive loop, which is

Naruto Uzumaki Chronicles 2

Last week, we warned you that this guy was unstoppable. You didn't listen. But here's Naruto Uzumaki Chronicles 2, another RPG following Naruto and his companions while they defeat evil. With ninja magic and bad fanfiction.

Balls of Fury

A DS game based on a comedy about ping-pong with Christopher Walken. And let's face, Walken's likeness is almost certainly the only thing this game has going for it. Expect cheap gameplay, and not a lot more. Yes, you think Walken is awesome. But if you buy this game, you are part of the problem.

Weekly WTF? | Ninja Bread Man

This is what gaming is about. No, not cheap, badly made shovelware -- we mean that it's something so ridiculous that you simply can't help but pay attention to it. Evil cupcakes, angry bees, and jelly monsters are have taken over a once-sweet land. The gameplay sucks by all accounts, but man, this game totally gets everything else right. Your goal is to save everything dear to you with a ninja made of sweetbread who swings a sword. Screw Halo 3, guys, this is the game everyone's gonna be playing this month.

And that about wraps it up for this week. Tune in next week when we have way more games coming out than anybody needs.

Talk about how crappy these games are!