As a dude who’s been into Star Trek for a very long time, I can’t believe I still haven’t seen Into Darkness. I believe that makes this only the second Trek film I haven’t seen in theaters. If I’m not mistaken, I even saw The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan in second-run theaters as a kid.
The other is I never saw was… uh, whatever came between First Contact and Nemesis. Insurrection, I think? I could tell at a glance that it was dreadful. I watched it once on DVD and it wasn’t so much wretched as simply boring. So, so boring.
I think I’m just tired of spectacle. As soon as I found out what Into Darkness was iterating on, I lost interest, because no one can get away with making an “action” movie as low-key as the source material. Well, I guess Ridley Scott did with Prometheus, but I feel like he wasted an opportunity and ruined it for everyone else. But the quiet tension of that classic film is what made it great, and meaningful. Now science fiction movies are required to be just noise, washing over me. Even the well-written ones, like The Avengers, eventually degenerate into spectacle and stupidity.
I would kill for a Trek TV series as methodically paced and densely written as Breaking Bad or Mad Men or something along those lines. I don’t know exactly when television supplanted Hollywood as the source for substantial, intelligent, artistic film, but I’ll take an AMC original series over whatever Hollywood chooses to barf up next. And the AMC show I can watch for free at home as a bonus of buying cable Internet!
I dread the day that those goddamn stupid obligatory “heroes’ army fights the evil army” CG battle scenes that pop up by law in any Hollywood production involving even a hint of conflict become inexpensive enough to produce that they start to infest quality television, too. If Breaking Bad were a movie, that minigun in Walter White’s trunk would come into play at the climax of the final season as Walt’s weapon when he leads his army of of drug dealers in Lord of the Rings-style combat against a thousand warriors of the DEA. They’d all run at each other head-on across an open field as a camera zoomed in with a fake, sweeping crane shot. Walt would stand at the lead, leaping into the air as he fired his SAW in slow-motion, while obviously fake CGI government agents fall bloodlessly beneath his rain of bullets. The fight would rage for 10 interminable minutes while Walt squares off face-to-face for his final, conclusive act of mortal combat with Hank amidst a curious bubble of calm, miraculously unruffled by the brutal chaos throbbing all around them.
In summary: Go to hell, Hollywood. You’ve lost your way, and you’re a waste of everyone’s time.