I just realized that in posting content from GameSpite Quarterly 8, I’ve skipped over a few articles that don’t fall into the simple “critique of a single video game” rubric. Intolerable! So, I have posted Tomm Hulett’s excellent synopsis of the strengths and failings of the PlayStation Castlevania games to help fill the gaps. I even went and made pretty graphics for it.
I poured extra effort into making this article look nice, in fact, because Cat and I made the horrible, horrible mistake of renting “Your Highness” tonight and I desperately needed to compensate for that movie’s sheer intellectual inanity. I dunno, the previews made it look like it could go either way, and I figured, “Hey, this was the first movie Natalie Portman appeared in after she won her Oscar; she and her agent probably exercised something like quality control in picking her project.” Nope! This is one of those movies that Oscar winners make because they like to build a nest egg for themselves with low-investment throwaway projects. I’m just glad Portman didn’t die immediately after this one hit the theatres; it would have been sad if “Your Highness” ended up being to her what “Transformers: The Movie” and “Street Fighter: The Movie” were to Orson Welles and Raul Julia, respectively. I guess she lucked out. If it had been “Your Highness: The Movie,” all bets would have been off.
Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is, read this article, and for the love of God avoid “Your Highness.”