GSQ5: Triumph of the squatty, constipated midgets

Man, this photo (which I found here) is amazing. Keiji Inafune is blowing out candles on a cake, but the weird perspective flattens the depth and makes it look like he’s about to plant a big ol’ smooch on Mega Man’s fanny. Yup.

Anyway, please think of this article as the sequel to last week’s piece on Section-Z. It was the prelude to the greatness Capcom realized with Mega Man. Like bullpen exercises before taking the mound. That’s a valid sports metaphor, right? I don’t really do sports, but I seem to have some vague impression that I’m on the right path there.

17 thoughts on “GSQ5: Triumph of the squatty, constipated midgets

  1. I’ve always attributed the original Robot Masters toughness to Dr Light’s quality of design. Heck, the Light Bots in MM9 were fairly durable as well. The moral? Wily builds on the cheap!

    I kinda miss the energy pick-ups from MM1. I thought they had more chracter.

  2. A more universal sports metaphor might be stretching before the… well, before the sport.

    PS – if you don’t have to stretch, it’s not a sport.

  3. I was going to comment on “fanny” but I can’t put it any better than An Amused Brit. Well said!

  4. Yeah, “fanny” has a very different meaning in Britain… Good thing I didn’t use that term while I was there. :P

  5. No, that’s the part that confuses people. It’s just called “Mega Man.” There’s no 1 in the title. People go looking for “Mega Man 1” and never find it and just assume that the series started with Mega Man 2 as some kind of joke, like Leonard Part 6.

  6. I don’t think it’s mentioned often, but outside of boss fights it doesn’t really matter which weapons you use against regular mooks in NES Mega Man. The weapons of Cut Man, Fire Man, Bomb Man, and Elec Man all do the same damage, so it’s just a matter of choosing which one’s attack method feels right to you. Though Elec Man’s three-way spread and block busting does make it preferable to the others.

    Of course, the weapons of Ice Man and Guts Man are exceptions since they’re entirely situational. Ice Man’s can’t inflict any damage against regular foes at all, but it can freeze them in place. And while Guts Man’s weapon has the most destructive potential, it’s only usable when you have giant blocks as ammo for it.

  7. Where did you get your info on Micronics? It isn’t surprising that their earlier games were outsourced, since they felt different.

    I remember freaking out during the drop platforms in Gutsman’s stage, and not getting beyond those at first. Though, yeah, nothing compares to the Yellow Devil. Abused the pause glitch as soon as I heard about it.

    Megaman 2 had much better tunes, but I always thought the second Wily stage song in the first was among the best of them.

  8. Oh, right. They were the ones who were also responsible for the horrid Athena and Tiger-Heli ports, among others. The latter of which, ironically, we chose at the time instead of Mega Man, because I was under the mistaken impression a friend would secure a free copy of MM through another friend. Said friend (the first one) turned out to be a chronic liar.

  9. Thanks! I’ll look those up for more info. (GDRI I found via wikipedia, but the other I did now know about.)

    You know, I thought those ports (1942, Athena, etc.) were done by the more infamous contract house of shoddiness, TOSE. Go figure.

  10. Touche. Guess it’s that the higher profile games they get assigned to just makes some of the bugs that more infuriating.

    Even though I was just shy of ten when I first played it, I could already tell the NES port of Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins was ridiculously choppy. Even with Super Mario Bros. as a sole frame of reference, I’d already been spoiled.

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