Walking to pick up lunch today, I came across a section of Mission Street — an entire block! — that had been completely shut down, cordoned off with police tape. All eyes were on a bus that was being hooked up to a sizable tow truck, and I couldn’t help but notice that the bus had a massive, circular, spider-web of a crack on the driver’s windshield… exactly at the height and shape one would expect to see if a pedestrian’s head had struck the windshield at high speeds (or more likely the opposite). All in all, it was pretty unsettling.
Hours later, I came home and hopped on the elliptical machine for a workout. The next video on my Netflix queue, ever my loyal exercise companion? The episode of Lost featuring the flashback in which Juliette’s ex-husband is struck by a bus at high speeds.
So that was kind of weird.
Anyway! That unpleasant coincidence aside, today was pretty nice. I’ve been really frustrated at work lately, because all my boring managerial duties and time-consuming podcasting responsibilities have done a serious number on how much time I’m able to spend writing, i.e. what I most enjoy about my job. Imagine my delight when, after a month of two of literary drought, I had three big articles dominating the site today. It was almost like I’m a real writer again. Hoorah!
I will celebrate by linking to them. So that you, too, may become angry about my opinions, reporting, and compiling of other people’s thoughts.
- Halo: Reach preview: I never particularly cared for Halo multiplayer until ODST‘s great cooperative modes. Therefore the greatest praise I can offer to Reach is that as I was drafting this article yesterday, I kept thinking, “Man, I really wish I were playing Reach multiplayer right now.”
- 3D Dot Game Heroes review: Remember, in review terms, a “good” rating and a clear statement of personal enjoyment is secret code for “this game is complete garbage and you are stupid for owning a PlayStation 3.”
- The Test of Time: People like Nintendo games, apparently.
Amidst all of that, I did still have time to die anticlimactically to the first boss of a game that no one had played for 20 years. So that was pretty special.
Incidentally, once GameSpite Year One, Vol. 2 is finished, the next episode of GameSpite Quarterly will feature a completely awesome article on Bio Force Ape. Among other things! It’s gonna be rad.
25 thoughts on “Fearful symmetry”
Reminds me of the best thread to ever grace the Digital Press forum.
I was on a bus that struck a pedestrian on a bike when I first moved to New York a few years back. There was the same huge circular crack on the windshield you’ve described. When we got off the bus we found the biker was just fine, just a very shaken, obviously. Hopefully this other person on your coast was as lucky.
I hope so, too. I haven’t had the heart to check the news.
That actually looks like a surprisingly fun game… or, surprisingly fun half-finished buggy demo of a game anyway.
I’m just SO HAPPY that somebody found the I WANT TO BELIEVE buttermonster that I made, because I lost that image years ago.
Where the fuck did you guys find this? Or do I have to watch Game Night.
I decided to read some of the user reivews after I finished yours. THAT was a mistake. I feel so unclean now.
unlike some of the flamethrower wielding folks who commented on the “3D” write-up, i read through the review – and the comments. i especially “liked” the one that called for the reviewer to be shipped off to space and vaporized by a star. classy. having opinions – and often very passionate ones – about our hobby? okay, i get that. getting your fanboy knickers in a twist cos (i guess?) someone has an opinion that dissents from your own? dont get that at all.
Wow, I pretty much have to get 3D Dot Game Heroes now, and I don’t even have a PS3…
I’m sorry that the people who post comments at 1up are jerks who think your reviews are part of the vast moneyhat conspiracy. I really appreciated your 3D Dot Games Heroes review.
Great review, i believe you let us know exactly what to expect, an enjoyable, purposefully limited game with neat gimmicky graphics, that gets hard at the end. I hope that at least some of those comments at 1up are sarcastic. To quote Futurama, “I give it the worst grade imaginable. An A-!”
They’re sarcastic, all right, but I think you mean “facetious”… which they’re not. I’m way past taking that sort of thing personally, but I keep forgetting that whenever you review a platform-exclusive title, people get really pissy.
That’s crazy, on the way to school, after reading this, I saw a car that had just struck a pedestrian. The police were spraying down the pavement with high powered hoses. It was quite unsettling.
The comments are always hilarious. You heaped praise on the game for a mere 90% of the review and therefore must be shot into the sun.
I loved the Bio Force Ape playthrough. I agree with Frank, despite the high expectations surrounding it because of the Digital Press hoax, it really lives up to them. Also, as I mentioned on twitter, you are looking super-thin.
I’m sure it’s not for everyone but I am really excited for 3D Dot Game Heroes.
Didn’t CliffyB or someone say that the future of shooters is the RPG? That’s what that Halo Reach thing sounds like. What’s disappointing about the whole thing is the time commitment. That’s why I don’t bother with MMOs. I’d rather devote 20 hours to something and experience the whole thing rather than having to devote a couple hours a day for months to get everything out of the game.
How is Reach like an RPG in any way? Because you can earn credits to buy cosmetic changes? That’s not really much like an RPG at all, except that numbers are involved in some capacity.
By the way, will Bio Force be dumped for the community?
The time commitment to see/get everything in the game sounds like it would be something more akin to an MMORPG than a straight up shooter. I dunno, I’m just not crazy about the idea of having to invest more than 20 or 30 hours into a shooter in order to experience everything.
I think you’re misunderstanding the nature of the game and its components pretty severely.
That looks like the most awesomely rad game and yet at the same time the most shite-tacularly horrid game all at the same time! How?!
While I agree that the review score for 3D Dot Game Heroes seems to be a little out of sync with the review text, readers’ reactions to the score are even more disproportionally out of whack, to the point that no sane human being could take those comments seriously. Yeesh.
Good review of 3DDGH, aside from the grade dissonance and yes, the comment about Zelda II being a bewildering action adventure platformer. (What I mean is that there were other less controversial games from that era that were as awkward if not moreso, but didn’t offset said awkwardness quite as well.) Yeah, I want the same kind of treatment for Zelda II, and claiming that action RPGs are a dime a dozen is missing the point.
The picks for the games that stood the test of time best were pretty good, especially regarding Final Fantasy 6 and Super Metroid. While the Link to the Past nod over Ocarina of Time was backed up for the right reasons, I think Link’s Awakening would have fit the bill even better as far as not having any fat goes. I was psyched to see Star Control II on the list of games that were in contention but just missed the cut, but thought that Baldur’s Gate II should have also been in there.
Mr. Parish, you should save that comment that that douche Richard wrote in the 3ddgh review and use that to open up the next GSQ in print. I really just found that comment hilarious for some reason. i think it was the “go play pokemon” part.
I’m sorry to hear that the podcasting is cutting into your writing time and contributing to the frustration level. I really enjoy listening in, so your efforts aren’t going unappreciated, if that’s any consolation.
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