The love slaves of Route 34

I think I am slowly, slowly finding my virtual finger painting mojo. But man, I would kill for a good stylus.

It seems that drawing inappropriate Pokémon pictures on public transit has become the raison d’être for this here iPad thing, and so I present to you my latest, um, masterpiece. Fortunately I had an empty row on the plane last night, so no one called an air marshal on me for this one.

The interesting thing about these games is just how open they are to different approaches. For instance, my ATB collaborator Kat mainly sees Pokémon as a vehicle for proving her superiority by humbling others in combat. Others live to catalog the utter minutiae of the franchise, or to break the games as brutally as possible through ruthless exploitation of programming oversights. And myself? I just like collecting. I don’t collect games anymore, but no one said I couldn’t collect things within games.

These are the loopholes by which we live our lives.

A little while ago I caught the infamous Ditto, a fairly worthless little creature that I named Limbaugh. Because it is a fat blob called “Ditto,” you see. The one interesting thing about Ditto, of course, is that it transcends mere polyamory and will happily procreate with very nearly any creature you send it to the Route 34 day care center with. I’m not sure how the other creatures feel about that, but if they want to complain I am afraid they’ll need to learn to express themselves more effectively than by simply repeating their own names over and over again. So now I have an army of valuable trade fodder for the GTS, all named appropriately (i.e., a Chikorita named “Swap Thing”). I’m gonna fill that index, or at least die lose interest trying.

Of course, pokémon don’t have to use Ditto for reproduction, but at this point I can’t remember which critters were caught and which were spawned by an overly friendly purple blob, and I don’t want to run the risk of pairing a beastie with it’s own parent. You gotta have some standards here, folks.

15 thoughts on “The love slaves of Route 34

  1. Having only ever played the original Pokemon Red, I’m always horrified at the thought of breeding more of the lil’ guys whenever someone mentions it.

  2. I also only ever played Red/Blue…. there wasn’t breeding in those, was there?

    I kinda want to try one of these newer DS games, but the thought of collecting more than the original 150 is pretty daunting. How big is a full pokedex these days anyhow?

  3. @turkish101: There are 493 of them now. I caught them all in Diamond, and I had a lot of fun doing it (except for those stupid ones that you can’t get legitimately, anyway).

  4. I’m pretty sure that if you look at the Pokemon’s summary page, it’ll tell you how you got it. That might help you keep the family trees from getting too tangled.

    Note to everyone else: I only played Red and Gold, and even as a kid, I traded in my copy of Gold, which I didn’t think was as good as Red. Since then, I’ve played FireRed, and am now playing HeartGold. *shrug*

  5. The Pogo Sketch is a pretty nice capacitive stylus. The tip is soft and mimics the pad of a finger, think a more-cushy pencil eraser tip. It’s not as accurate as a Wacom stylus tip, but it’s waaaay better than a fingertip both in accuracy and general lack of greasiness.

  6. Nice Limbaugh bash in there. The drawing of two Pokemon mating is also a really classy touch.

  7. Ha, love the art!

    I’ve not yet gotten to breeding (or a Ditto!) in HeartGold, but I’m on my way. Curious to see how it works, all in all.

  8. in each pokemon summary you can see if the pokemon was caugth or you were given an egg, even you can see if the route were it was caugth and the level you meet him

  9. Ditto’s biggest use definitely came with Gen 2, that’s for sure. Being able to turn into any Pokémon really pays off when it comes to getting duplicates of starters and certain rare non-legendary Pokémon. I filled up a good amount of my Pokédex trading Spiritombs in Platinum.

    As far as Pokémon breeding goes, while inbreeding’s definitely disturbing I’d that the game promoting romance between different species to learn egg moves is far worse than some accidental inbreeding. Skitty-on-Wailord was a common internet meme and all, but I find it more concerning that mortal enemies Zangoose and Seviper can procreate.

    Hell, the whole Field (aka Ground) egg group is pretty messed up compared to the others. Squirrels bedding with acorns. Cats and dogs making cats or dogs together. Lion and lamb stories that go too far. It’s a field ripe for parody.

  10. I am not convinced that there is any lovemaking going on in Pokemon. I don’t even think there is hand holding involved. Besides the obvious lack of genitalia, there are insurmountable size differences. They just play for a bit and then the Matrix or whatever makes an egg appear. As for parents mating with siblings? You can’t judge them, Poké-morality is nothing like our own.

  11. @M.Nicolai: I’d assume the dialogue implying that “An egg just showed up” and “It’s not been proven that Pokémon lay eggs” and all that jazz is just PC talk to protect the children from possibly realizing they’re having a electric squirrel and an anthromorphic acorn have kids. You know, like the stork. Hell, there’s a Matchup Maker application in Gen 4 that tells you how compatible your Poképairings are.

    Still, while disturbing, it can be fun to make fun of.

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