GSQ3: The DK rap

Tonight, we’re talking about the Kong family. That’s right, it’s all DK, all the time. First, we have Donkey Kong, the senior one. I will go to my grave refusing to accept the idea that this is the same character as Rare’s awful Cranky Kong. DK was too interesting to be turned into a cut-rate Abe Simpson, by gosh. Then there’s Donkey Kong, Jr., the… uh, junior one. Like it says right there on the tin, in fact.

And with this, our GameSpite Quarterly 3 index is one-quarter of the way full. The pacing is kind of slow for these online posts, but it’s probably just as well, because there’s no way GameSpite Quarterly 4 is going to hit on its properly deadline. I realize that makes the “quarterly” appellation something of a lie, but it’s a necessary compromise. I nearly killed myself getting GSQ3 done, and the quality of my writing suffered as a result. I’m the guy editing the dang book, so I feel like I should aim to lead by example rather than be the leaden burden bringing down the average quality. GSQ4 will thus be a few weeks late; we’re moving to an “it’ll be done when it’s done” schedule, much like Duke Nukem Forever. The difference of course is that we’re not flush with millions of dollars of liquid assets from a previous blockbuster hit, so we can’t afford to dawdle foe a decade. A month, maybe, but not a decade.

7 thoughts on “GSQ3: The DK rap

  1. Actually, the DKC Kong is Donkey Kong III. Cranky, who’s supposed to be the original DK is his grandfather. Junior was a child star who faded into anonymity upon adulthood.

  2. I think even Rare mixes it up whether DKC DK is Cranky Kongs son or Grandson. Who cares. Those games were like slow versions of Sonic the Hedgehog without the exploration or verticality.

  3. You know, I was very happy to avoid that entirely in this article. Once Rare was given the rights, any sense of a Kong continuity went right out the window.

    Anyone here actually played the fantastic-seeming Game Boy version? Is it in fact as good as it looks?

  4. Yes. The Game Boy Donkey Kong game (the one that’s not Donkey Kong Land) is, in my opinion, the only thing that Donkey Kong should be. The only way to make a better Donkey Kong game is to build upon that gameplay structure. Mario vs. Donkey Kong doesn’t seem to succeed at that, but they had the right idea.

  5. I heard DK Jr. died after her drove his kart off of the Koopa Beach racing circuit and into the Soda Sea. The sight of a sweetly retarded 800-lbs gorilla drowning to death in an ocean of sticky sweet syrup was so ghastly that few people at Nintendo could ever bring themselves to mention the accident again.

  6. Anyone else see the e[isode of Captain N with “Donkey Kong Jones and the Last Banana”? Hilarious.

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