Gaming in the flu world order

Please, game developers: stop including multiplayer modes in your games. Haven’t you been watching the news? We’re all gonna die! Well, most of us, anyway. After the bird-pigs infect us all with their super-flu, only the hardiest of us are going to survive. There will likely be little infrastructure left, and certainly no more Internet. Those of us who live are going to need games to play, and Call of Duty 4 isn’t going to cut it.

[[image:papapig.jpg:They may look cute, but they are DEADLY.:right:0]]When I’m walking the empty highways, dodging cannibals and feral flu-mutants, multiplayer games are going to be useless. As I raid the abandoned farmhouses for fuel to generate a little electricity for the HDTV I’ve got strapped to my back, games with a strong single-player focus are going to be worth their weight in pre-aporkalypse gold. When I’m trading a few berries I managed to steal from a dead man’s pockets for a new game, all those co-op and multiplayer bullet-points are going to be quickly passed over in search of games with hours of solo player to distract me from the horrifying reality of FluMerica.

I guess there might still be some use for all those multiplayer games. Maybe I can snap the DVD-ROMs in half and use the pointy edge as a shiv against some cannibal trying to gnaw on my delicious, flu-resistant innards.

17 thoughts on “Gaming in the flu world order

  1. I can picture myself sitting on a pile of rubble playing The World Ends With You and chuckling, “It suuuuure did.”

  2. Everybody always assumes they’re going to be one of the survivors. We can’t all be right, you know.

  3. My 360 went to Mexico for repairs, should I go to the emergency room now?

  4. I may not be among the survivors, but someone is bound to survive. And whoever among us is that person is going to need strong single-player gaming experiences!

  5. What the hell would you need video games for when you would be living a real life swine flu version of L4D? As for me I think I have already been infected so I will most likely be seeing you and your make shift shiv later on. I’m just hoping I don’t mutate into a Boomer…

  6. “Everybody always assumes they’re going to be one of the survivors. We can’t all be right, you know.”
    Yeah, but if you’re not a survivor you don’t really have anything to worry about.

  7. Not Bunnicula… PIGCULA.

    If you hear its terrifying call (wheeee! wheeeee1!) run for your life!

  8. Pigcula might be a piggie, but he certainly isn’t pork.

    HE IS STILL TERRIFYING! I can hardly bare to live in the same house as his infernal spawn.

  9. Dang, can’t you guys tell the difference between a rabbit (not deadly) and a guinea pig (ZOMG!)?

  10. I don’t think the average person knows that swine-flu jokes are already overplayed. Being sick for the last week with the (normal) flu has been pretty obnoxious for just that reason.

  11. lol that spam is creepily appropraite with the topic of pigs cuz pigs are fat and everything haha

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