The DLC front is still pretty dry, even though low-budget console shovelware crap like Gears of War 2 and Mirror’s Edge is all that’s up for offer at retail. Honestly. This week brings a couple of WiiWare games that fall firmly in the so-called “casual” arena, to the extent that there actually is one; an old classic starring a certain blue robot who seems to be on our minds awfully frequently of late; and a cruel tease directed at those of us still waiting for the interminably delayed Super Street Fighter II HD Remix.
[[image:jh_081111_dlc01.jpg::left:0]]WiiWare: Brain Challenge
Gameloft | Wii | Brain training
Yet another brain-training game for Wii. Maybe the problem here is that I’m just dumb, but I can’t seem to find the fun in these. I mean, part of the description goes like this: “Develop your resistance to stressful situations that could happen in real life.” Who wants to play that game? I don’t. I’ve got enough freakin’ stress, and flashing back to my exam years is no way to solve it. So thanks for nothing, Gameloft.
[[image:jh_081111_dlc02.jpg::left:0]]WiiWare: Yummy Yummy Cooking Jam
Virtual Toys | Wii | Casual diner action puzzle
The ultimate dieting sim, Yummy Yummy Cooking Jam lets you create all the delicious dishes you want, but doesn’t let you eat any of them! I can’t wait for the lawsuits when overeager gamers begin starving to death as they play this game. Wait, actually, Yummy Yummy Cooking lets (or is that “forces you to”?) use the Wii Remote to serve hastily prepared meals as quickly as possible to impatient customers. And pesky insects will get in your way, just like they do in real restaurants. Well, the ones I eat at, anyway!
[[image:jh_081111_dlc03.jpg::left:0]]VC: Mega Man 3
Capcom | NES via Wii | It’s Mega Man
General consensus is that Mega Man 3 is, what, the second-best Mega Man game in the series? Or maybe the third, now that Mega Man 9 is out? Wherever its rank as these things are measured, it’s totally worth 500 of your Wii Points, unless you have the game and a vintage NES hooked up and somehow can magically make your top-loader’s RF output in progressive scan to negate the timing issues you experience with an HD set. Or if you own one of those Mega Man compilation discs with non-jacked-up controls.
[[image:jh_081111_dlc04.jpg::left:0]]XBLA: Super Street Fighter II Turbo Pinball FX
Microsoft | Xbox 360 | Pinball with a paint job
Here it is, folks, the moment we’ve all been waiting f–what? PINBALL!? And not even a standalone pinball game, but an add-on to Pinball FX? No thanks. I don’t want to see anything else with Street Fighter in the title until Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix is ready, Capcom. Well, Street Fighter IV is allowed, I guess. So yeah, please put SFIV on XBLA for 400 Microsoft points next week to make up for this travesty. Thanks.