Wii clones aren’t just for China anymore! A mail-order company called Firststreet, which describes itself as the “leading direct marketer of innovative products for Boomers and Beyond” brings us the Swinger Video Sports system and no, I can not link to it because Gamespite has a unique filter called a shamewall that prevents me from doing so. For $70 you get a console — inexplicably shaped like a fire alarm with a comically large power button — and two sets of wireless controllers and “nunchakus”. Five games are included: baseball, bowling, boxing, golf and tennis. Sound familiar?

[[image:mn_080914_swingtown_01.jpg:or a desk fan or subwoofer or something:right:0]]“Maybe you’ve tried a similar game at a friend’s house…” the promotional website urges. I imagine whoever wrote this was blushing at the time — take this striking testimonial from customer “Darlene W”:

“This is a GREAT buy..five games and a whole system for $69! I’ve been trying to get another system that’s priced a lot higher, but the Swinger is such a deal, I’m giving these for holiday gifts.”

Ouch. My heart goes out to the poor kids who asked for a Wii and get this instead. They will most likely not be taking advantage of the system’s “portability.” You see, bootleg consoles have to run on AA batteries because otherwise you could only sell them to people who have running electricity. And that would be restricting their market share. It also means one less cord to stuff in a closet and never look at again. Who buys this stuff anyway?

[[image:mn_080914_swingtown_02.jpg:nice scarf:center:0]]
Oh, these people do. I love a picture that tells a story. Here, Doofy Dad has saved Doofy Jr’s birthday. Instead of waiting until the last minute to get a gift, he thought ahead and ordered that “vidja game with the wiggle.” Doofy Jr’s excited expression is a mask — his haircut clearly identifies him as a hockey fan, a sports game that is not included. He just looks like he’s having fun so he can have “one more round” and keep his step-siblings from having a turn. But that’s just my interpretation.

6 thoughts on “Swingtown

  1. Low hanging fruit – no one is going to comment on a system called “Swinger Video Sports” that retails for $69? Like, maybe instead of Mario Party it has a game named “Key Party”?

  2. Yeah well, you know what they say about those Wii swinger parties.

    What I’m interested in in these clones is if they actually pack functional motionsensing control and playable games, or if they’re actually controlled with those buttons, possibly sporting Turbografx graphics, and don´t actually work 50 % of the time. In other words, just how much of a ripoff they are.

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