Browsing around Amazon.com, I discovered an entry for an upcoming PS2 game called Shining Dragon, which a bit of googlekata reveals to be some entry in a series called Ikki Tousen. I was positive I knew that name from somewhere, and then remembered: It’s the subject of endless NCSX snark, as apparently it’s an unremarkable (and markedly smutty) fighting game whose main claim to fame is spawning a seemingly infinite array of figurines with removable clothing. Further inquiry reveals the premise of the game to be that the souls of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms-era generals have been reincarnated as teenage girls with extremely fragile clothing, and they must assert the dominance of their respective fifedoms millennia later by punching one another until they’re nearly naked. Let’s see what Google Image Search has to show about this. (Note: Do not try this at home… well, at least not without Safe Search activated.)

Yep. I know that when I think of Lui Bei or Cao Cao, the first thing that comes to mind is definitely an underaged combat nurse. Or a girl in teeny-tiny torn panties and a removable shirt wielding a naginata. History just got classy.

The fact that this is actually coming to the U.S. proves beyond shadow of a doubt that Sony no longer gives a slap about what gets published on PS2 these days. Paging Victor Ireland: Now is the time to get that janky Goemon game through concept approval, at long last!

26 thoughts on “Icky

  1. Speaking of WD – maybe 1Up can organize an interview with Vic about his “new” company, Gaijinworks. Seriously, what’s going on with that.

  2. Ikki Tousen was what everyone recommended I watched whenever I would reveal to their disgust my love for Air Master. And, frankly, I’d rather watch a 13 hours loop of the attract mode from Battle Arena Toshinden.

  3. So of course the first thing I did was google it. And, uh, Jeremy was right. Japan sure is a silly place.

  4. Valcon games must be forgiven though, because they are publishing WELCOME TO SHEEP VILLAGE(which they sadly renamed Shepard’s Crossing, loses so much charm). without a doubt the best harvest moon rip-off game yet(was a wee bit better when it came out in japan 5 years ago).

  5. Five years? Seriously? I was actually kidding about that Goemon game, but maybe it wasn’t so far-fetched after all. Alarming.

  6. Jeremy, are you going to disown me for admiting that I’ve watched the Ikkitousen anime series?

  7. Eh, even with the rampant fanservice in the show, it can hardly be called porn. It’s a fairly enjoyable enough action series once you ignore all that nonsense. Besides, this world doesn’t get enough Chinese warlord action anyways.

  8. For what it’s worth, a friend I know who is a total perv even thinks that the anime is irredeemably stupid and the characters unlikeable.

  9. I’ve skimmed some of the manga this game is based on. It rides the line between fanservice and softcore porn more precisely than anything else I’ve ever seen. When the official profiles AND the other characters feel the need to repeatedly point out how big the main character’s breasts are it leaves no illusions about what this series is aiming for.

  10. If I wanted awesome action and fanservice, I’ll just stick to Air Gear, thanks.

    Or Airmaster, which has some amazing fights.

  11. i’ve been following the games for a while, i’ surprised you just recently found it! the psp version is a 2d beat em up, so i’m particularly curious about that one.

    incidentaly, sony may be somewhat more lax on ps2 stuff now, but i also know it was not possible to push grasshopper’s Michigan through as of like 3 months ago. it’s still as wacky a process as ever.

  12. Ikki Tousen? I’ll see you and raise you Yawaraka Sangokushi Ryofuko Chan, starring none other than Lu Bu as a tiny gradeschool-age moe girl. (Needless to say, one of the tags for this on Anime News Network is “ecchi.”)

    Someday, someone in Japan will unleash a Loli-fied version of Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee, and on that day I plan to laugh myself to death.

  13. It genuinely amazes me is that there is more than one series of Three Kingdoms heroes reincarnated as objects of otaku “affection”. It’s almost as bad as that teenage jailbait Wolverine clone (And I mean literally a clone of Wolverine)

  14. Man, guys, this isn’t an arms race. Please don’t feel compelled to trump one bad thing with something even worse.

  15. I found this series during my “I love references to Ancient Chinese Literature” kick, but the premise and dialogue were like unto hot branding irons to my eyes.

    I’d say “Japan, you silly country,” but we have furry porn artists who do quite well here, so I’d feel a little pot-like. Kettle-esque, even.

  16. Which you already put in the title of the post. Excuse me while I go learn to pay more attention.

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