I wish you wouldn’t say that

Dear guys who make “Oatios” cereal:

Congratulations on a clever name for your off-brand Cheeri-Os rip-off, but is that really the message you want to be sending with something you’re marketing as health food?

Also, I have reviewed Professor Layton and the Curious Village. (If 1UP’s acting weird, try again later — they’re doing some server upgrade testing, which is great news for what should be obvious reasons.) Please ignore the number on the review, it’s just one of those formalities we have to do; in fact, I didn’t even give it a number. I put a letter on it, but we’re in a weird interim period during which we’re doing the (so very welcome) transition to letters for EGM and GFW, but as their new issues haven’t arrived we’re temporarily sticking with numbers on the site. The point of the review is this: Professor Layton is a game that everyone should play.

Unlike its upcoming Adults Only-rated sequel, Professor Layton and the Bi-Curious Village.

17 thoughts on “I wish you wouldn’t say that

  1. It could’ve been worse; the cereal could’ve been in the shape of Elizabethan nobles and called them Horatios.

  2. I would totally play Professor Layton and the Bi-Curious Village. It would be the first game where you solve puzzles in order to learn the dark secrets of angsty teens in the throes of sexual confusion.

    Unless, of course, there’s some Eva adventure game that I don’t know about.

  3. “Unless, of course, there’s some Eva adventure game that I don’t know about.”

    Does Girlfriend of Steel count?

  4. Man, I was saving that Bi-Curious Village joke for a later date.

    It’s almost as funny as Bi-Curious George.

  5. You knew “Bi-Curious” from the GRE? Your test must have been approximately 98x more enjoyable than the crap I had to put up with for three hours.

    But I did get to read a titillating article about lobsters, so I think that made up for it.

  6. My wife doesn’t think I’ll be able to figure out Professor Layton’s puzzles. I want to get it and prove her wrong.

  7. “My wife doesn’t think I’ll be able to figure out Professor Layton’s puzzles. I want to get it and prove her wrong.”

    Easy there, chief. They’re harder than you think.

  8. I went to the local GameStop earlier today to pick up a copy of Lost Odyssey and Professor Layton, but guess what? Lost Odyssey completely sold out. Way to go Gooch.

  9. I didn’t even know that “otiose” was a word, much less what it meant, until you showed it to me in that dictionary, so I think they’re safe from turning off customers. Unleass health food customers have great vocabularies, which they may.

  10. I played Professor Layton back when it was called The 7th Guest. As in, a game that pretends to be a simple adventure game that’s really just a bunch of pretty wrapping for an unrelated set of logic puzzles and riddles.

    However, I note that The 7th Guest also sucks a fat goat, while Professor Layton does not. So yeah, get it.

  11. Oh, and I should note that I showed off the Japanese version of the game to my dentist a couple months ago, and she was all Holy cow what’s that called I need to get it! When middle-aged black women are excited over a DS game, Nintendo has won.

  12. No, its puzzles are simply presented as puzzles rather than as mad contraptions, and they’re much less obtuse.

  13. Which I’m guessing also means that Prof. Layton dodges the Soup Cans bullet that is named after the 7th Guest puzzle in that the puzzles are presented as puzzles instead of a critical component of the villain’s scheme to thwart the hero’s progress.

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