And now for something complete different. Well, OK, something very much in keeping with the rest of the site. Governor Guycot is growing impatient while you make your way to his desert fortress on Route 33 and decided to kill some time with a brief foray into New Games Journalism. His New Games Topic: EarthBound.
So while you muddle around talking to the skeleton of your murdered friend in some godforsaken cave somewhere, he’s getting all rose-tinted. At least someone is being productive. (Hint: it ain’t you.)
I can tell I’m growing anxious about next week’s Tokyo Game Show foray. (I always have anxiety about air travel — right up until the moment I actually get on the plane, at which point I’m totally fine. It’s probably just well-justified fear of dealing with the chicanery of DHS.) This time it’s interrupting my sleep: I dreamed that TGS was reimagined as a county fair this year, and Square showed off a terrible new Final Fantasy VII spin-off called FFVII: Item Battle. Their PR guys confided to me that Item Battle was designed as a showcase for the PS3’s graphics capabilities, but they’d forgotten to make an interesting game — the demo consisted of the player’s party lining up opposite the TURKS, taking turns throwing inventory items at each other. Eventually they ran out of inventory and resorted to chucking corn cobs that showgoers had left on the ground.
It was uncannily realistic, and I fully expect to have that exact experience one week from today.