No time for talking

Bored out of your mind while Talking Time spends its mandatory three days in the grave? (Sorry, I know it’s a little late for Easter.) You could join in the comments for the previous post, since everything that’s being written there is alarmingly thoughtful and… verbose. Or you could take our good friend p-natsu’s advice and turn your attention to the oekaki board instead. Currently the theme appears to be “design ToastyFrog merchandise,” although I’m sure it’s going to be difficult to come up with something more disturbing than Abe Lincoln wearing ToastyFrog swim trunks. At least without breaking the “no porn” stipulation, anyway.

Or you could read the Star Wars Retro Roundup that Mike Nelson and I crafted. Yes, between the two of us, we have played all of these. And while it’s racking up huge traffic, it’s not getting many thumbs-up. I assume this means people still like Shadows of the Empire and Masters of Teras Kasi and resent us criticizing them. The Mega Man retrospective has also rolled along with an all-Nadia production focusing on Mega Man cameos and sleuthing out the worst-ever Mega Man game. Inafune won’t tell which they are, since he’s far too polite, but he did tell us that he doesn’t think highly of the ones he didn’t help create. So basically, my long-standing hatred of Mega Man X6 is totally justified.

70 thoughts on “No time for talking

  1. It doesn’t help that the thumbnails on the article are totally out of whack leaving me confused as to how I missed some sort of mechanical scorpion Darth Vader in Super Empire Strikes Back

  2. All this Mega-Man talk has gotten me in the mood for some Mega Man Legends. So I think I’ll play it.

    After a bit of Odin Sphere.

  3. Ah hell, why not. I’m officially pending on the oekaki board whenever you’ve time to approve me, Parish.

  4. “If asked about the Mega Man storyline, Keiji Inafune won’t acknowledge the time Mega Man tried to stop Dr. Wily’s evil plans with a soccer ball to the head.”

    Actually, isn’t that Mega Man 8?

  5. To answer your question, Chut, I’m a diehard X fan, and I haven’t beaten X6. I don’t want to sit through that crap. It’s the only one of them that I haven’t gone all the way through.

  6. That’s really like asking if head wounds are better than chest wounds, though.

  7. I think I’m the only person alive that actually enjoyed X7. I’m not saying it was OMG SUPER AWESOME, but I enjoyed it like one enjoys movies on Sci-Fi.

  8. Hey, Rei. I’m in a Sci-Fi original picture. It’s called “Carnivorous.” Look for it. I’ll be the guy that gets eaten before the opening credits.

  9. Shakewell, seriously? That’s awesome. I’d love to be eaten in a Sci-Fi movie. As it stands, I’m about to help make a movie with some friends, but I don’t think I’ll be getting killed.

  10. I beat X6, though only with some heavy abuse of the Shadow armor, the one that makes X look like a ninja and lets him run and wall grip spikes. It was irritating to beat both Gate and Sigma with that armor on though.

    It’s almost impossible to get through Gate’s spike maze without it, though I did later when I played through with the Ultimate Armor. So er yeah, I like punishment I guess. Think I died about 20 times before I had the maze well enough memorized that I didn’t die at all getting through it.

  11. The Feature’s link to the message board is broken. Now how am I going to hear about how bad I suck because I don’t love Mega Man X2? :(

    vsRobot: Thanks!

  12. Mightyblue: Sigma? Really? I did it with the Shadow Armor on my first try in literally two or three minutes. If that. From there until the staff roll I just thinking, “Okay guys, where’s the real last battle.”

    Then I realized the last boss was actually Gate, the most infuriatingly cheap boss ever created.

  13. Torgo: I never said it was particularly hard, though Gate was a cheap SOB yeah. I never had to use the shadow armor till that point though, since the spike maze just kept infuriating me. I just wasn’t all that used to it, and I’d never bothered to figure out the special commands for the different charge moves.

    I still think the Yellow Devil is the most infuriatingly cheap boss I’ve ever played against, personally.

  14. Yellow Devil is all about pattern memorization… and a little luck (or cheating, *cue spamming of select button*). Gate is just about dumb luck.

    But yeah, I never had to touch the Shadow Armor myself until the stage with Hi-Max. I seem to recall a narrow corridor of spikes towards the end of the level that is essentially impossible to get through without it.

  15. Hitting a slightly different note on the blue bomber topic, The only MM games I’ve really enjoyed playing are the X (1-5, anyway), Zero/ZX, and both Legends games. I’ve played a number of the NES and GB iterations, but none of them really clicked with me like X1 and the Zero series did. X6-8 can go find themselves an adjacent landfill to E.T.’s for all I care though.

  16. My unending love of the Zero games (and those alone) is epic. Especially the first 2, although 3 was still better than any other Megaman game.

  17. I have to raise an objection, Nadia – that “worst Mega Man games” article fails to mention Mega Man Battle Chip Challenge, which I feel is an egregious oversight. Considering that all the other games listed are at least in some way playable (albeit perhaps not very much so), they all have at least one feature MMBCC does not. I mean, come on, you just equip your robots and then let the game play itself for you while you keep pressing the A button to go on and see if you won. And what’s more, this was released as a spin-off of the Battle Network games which were virtually the same, but actually let you control the action, thus completely obsoleting the game before it was ever conceived.

    Seriously, what gives?

  18. Rei: Yeah, dude. It was awesome. You can click on my little URL thing to see some pics at ye olde MySpace. My avatar on the forum (before Parish unmercifully murdered it) was actually a picture of me on set.

  19. It wasn’t like that, I’m sure. I imagine it was like that scene in Edward Scissorhands where Vincent Price has a heart attack and unluckily collapses right onto Parish’s razor sharp digits.

  20. Re: original post
    I know what you mean. Friend of mine still swears that Rebel Assault and Shadows of the Empire are awesome games. Don’t really know what he’s smoking, but it’s probably Lucasarts-branded. I hold a special place in my heart for Rebel Assault too, but all you need are two words to bring you back to reality: Rail. Shooter.

    Otherwise, awesome round up of the Star Wars game-verse. Lots of good (and regrettable) memories in there.

  21. Gosh. I’m just happy that the video games industry is growing Mr. Parish. Fuck people who like to do important things with their lifes. All that matters is to spread the word and make the chur… industry grow!

    Tell me Parish, when did you realized your life was a complete waste of time?

  22. There was one flaw with the Star Wars article. It mentioned the FMV in Jedi Knight, but didn’t even hint at the fact that it’s one of the best first person shooters ever. I assume it was some sort of editing mistake. Otherwise, good stuff.

  23. Hey, I just got here. You guys are making movies? I wanna be in a movie. I’ll work for free! Or whatever the alternative to working is, I’ll do that for free, too! I’ve got that kind of range.

  24. I was in a movie once. I don’t like to tell people what it is because if they ever saw it I would be really embarrassed. It makes a Sci-Fi Channel movie look like Lawrence of Arabia.

  25. Our house used to back onto an arena, and kids liked to play hockey in the parking lot. One day my brother yelled out our window, “Hey, do you kids want to be in a movie called ‘Erotic Adventures in the Phone Booth?'”, and the cops arrived at the parking lot about five minutes later.

  26. How can you say DKC2 was [i]uninventive[/i]? There’s some real good us of teamwork, and it’s even great as a two-player simultaneous game…It was definately not just a “me too” game.

  27. Except that it was still essentially “SMW with pre-rendered graphics” in terms of physics, game system, and level design. Mrk. II, at that. Great music, though.

  28. Is there a reason why the Mega Man cameo article have nothing to do with cameos and everything to do with spin-off games? Don’t get me wrong; it’s a good read anyway, but the bait-and-switch was perplexing.

  29. In terms of cameos, what is there beyond Marvel vs Capcom, Card Fighters, SNK vs Capcom, and Pocket Fighter?

  30. Actually, her list isn’t QUITE complete: Mega Man showed up in MAD Magazine twice. His latest cameo was as “Profanity Man” in a news blurb: “Profanity Man: The $&#&# Sequel causes big #&*#( controversy.”

    Mega Man had stubble and a cigar. It was the best use of ink ever.

  31. Pfft. “Marvel vs. Capcom.” I’m still holding out for Roe V. Capcom. Can’t wait to see who has a cameo in that one.

  32. Except that it was still essentially “SMW with pre-rendered graphics” in terms of physics, game system, and level design. Mrk. II, at that. Great music, though.


    In no way did DKC2 play like SMW2. The usage of the animal buddies are vastly different, as you don’t get to keep them for the entire level. Level design, I’d argue DKC2 was much, much more complex. Levels weren’t vast for no reason, and a dead end usually held a secret, as supposed to…well, a dead end. Physics? Since when did sidescrollers have “physics”? Rolling barrels? Don’t start there… (even those handled differently, had enemies that were purposefully places to knock it out of your hands that you would otherwise use for that secret entrance)

    In short, I just don’t understand the hate. I loved DKC2 for what it was, than what it isn’t…which is, another SMW clone (and it definately wasn’t).

  33. X6 is among the best three X games with X1 and X4. It’s fun and exciting, not to mention challenging. Great music too. I don’t care a single bit if it fits in with some imaginary storyline, the Megaman X story is a huge jumble without any sense anyway, so a great game will take priority over loyalty to a pathetic attempt of a coherent plot. To me, it just seems that all the hate towards X6 comes from sedated players who are angry that X6 wasn’t as laughably easy as X5.

  34. Re: Sami
    My problems with X6 were its lack of localization (translation only, really) and the fact that 80% of the enemies in the game were those robotic floating monkeys.

  35. Sami: X6 isn’t hard, it’s cheap. Hard is innovative level design that actually makes use of different enemies to present a challenge. See MM 1-3, or most of the Zero games. What X6 does is make each level chock filled with spike traps, or spike rooms. That’s just lazy and cheap, not “challenging.” I’m all for the occasional spike/bottomless pit as it fits in with the general level design, but not every other screen.

  36. Physics isn’t just boxes being knocked around, you know. Jumping involves physics as well. One of many reasons Mario was so popular was because it was one of the first games where the character had physics that, at the very least, felt real, rather than simply moving a floating sprite around the screen.

  37. X6 isn’t merely cheap, it’s also completely broken. It’s possible to get into the random fight with Hi-Max before you actually have the only weapon that can damage him. Great design! The enemies are laughable, the graphics are cheap, it’s crap all around. Well, the soundtrack’s good.

  38. Dear Mr. Parish,

    Did you have a relaxing weekend? I sure did. I spent most of my time visiting friends and saying goodbyes, as college has finally come to a close. I spent most of yesterday packing, since I’m moving into a new apartment next weekend.

    The reason, I ask if your relaxing, dear friend, is that I’m now at work, and wil be here everyday from now until the end of eternity, and I’ve noticed the forums are STILL not up. This upsets me greatly, as at the moment I have little actual work to do at my job.

    Anything you can do to rectify the situation for me would be greatly appreciated.

    Your friend,
    Calorie Mate

  39. I don’t think Parish relaxes as you or I think of it. I believe he experiences long stretches of intense seething interjected with brief lapses of mild seething.

  40. parish – It wouldn’t be the internet if someone you’ve never met acted like they actually CARED about whether or not you sunk a lot of your free time into something like this, would it?

    M.Nicolai – I always suspected as much.

  41. I’m touched by the sweetness in Calorie Mate’s post. It almost makes me believe he has a soul.

  42. He’s like the Sirens, or a male version of the Black Widow. He’s tempts you into his lair, and then it’s all OVER!

    Btw, your preview button ate my comment, so I had to back up, copy it, and then hit post Parish. Just in case you didn’t know or anything.

  43. Perhaps the thumbs downs for the SW piece are coming from people who actually like the podracing bits in TPM (not me, but it seemingly has its fans). Do note, btw, that you control Luke in Yoda Stories, not “everyone’s favorite little wrinkly green guy”. Unless by that you meant Luke. ;)

  44. Or maybe it was bait to flush out people who played Yoda Stories?

  45. Hey, Yoda Stories was tight for you 5-10 min quick game fix. I’d be playing it right now if I could find the disk.

  46. So you die to Hi-Max. I know I did. It’s not like the game wipes out your save after that. Although people complain about running into overstrong enemies in RPGs as well, notably Final Fantasy III as of late. All these are just excuses for people who can’t get over a few spikes, or the awesome lack of localisation complete with drunken Japanese Sigma. X6 is way above X5’s G & R Maverick names, and even when X4’s dub was in English, that doesn’t make it any better.

  47. Duff McWhalen.

    …victims? What victims? I totally have one of those soul…things.

  48. I don’t stand up for the X5 localization any more than I do for X6’s lack thereof- each is an example of the opposite extreme. A good localization would fall somewhere in between (like X4 if they had decent VAs).

    Either way, a good localization does not a good game make; all other things said about X6 still stand.

  49. It’s not a matter of losing to Hi-Max, it’s a matter of not being able to damage him in any way at all if you bumble into him. That is one of many indications that MMX6 was rushed, sloppy hack-job.

    Congrats on liking it, though. I like a few really crappy games myself.

  50. Sami: It’s not a few spikes, it’s spikes everywhere you go, often in the most obtuse and difficult ways to get past, and also with one of those stupid Nightmare things fluttering about that I have to be careful of. I like challenges just fine, but not when I’m forced to die dozens of times just to get to the final bosses of the game just so I can memorize timing and jump patterns. X6 is just a crappy game. Go play one of the earlier MM’s or one of the Zero games if you want to be truly challenged.

  51. I judge not a person by the Mega Man games they enjoy. I’m a rabid fan of Mega Man 4, myself.

  52. Hey, yeah, I remember that I was completely stunned when I first saw that wall of spikes. That stage was tricky, but finally clearing it sure was enjoyable. As a lapsed Megaman fan, I’ve played those early games many times over, but couldn’t really get into the Zero series. Zero 2, Battle Network and X7 didn’t really urge me to keep up with the series (plural plural?) anymore. But hey, I liked Network Transmission, obviously even Megaman fans have differing tastes about the games.

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