Merry Groin-Injury-mas

Mega Man 3

I guess it’s a little weird to update my blog on Christmas, isn’t it? Maybe not, I guess, but it certainly doesn’t seem to be the hip, “in” thing to do. Since I’ve added quotation marks around the word “in,” though, I’m clearly not. So it doesn’t really matter now, does it?

Anyway, I’m continuing my dewy-eyed nostalgia series with a Mega Man 3 write-up. I’ve always sort of felt this game had the worst box art in the series (at least until Legends 2) — sure, the first two games had objectively awful artwork, but something about three was so much worse than a constipated dude rendered in crayon, or a middle-aged guy in spandex. Part of it has something to do with poor Spark Man being blasted in the crotch. It’s not an accidental hit, either! Mega Man’s eyes are clearly focused right on that spot, and there’s a sort of sneering delight on his rubbery face. It’s horrible.

But hey, at least it’s not this.

As for me, I’ll take my Christmas memories where I can get them, and going on about MM3 is a lot more in keeping with this site’s charter than writing about, say, how my family used to buy a few boxes of flavored popcorn and drive around to admire the tasteless, over-the-top Christmas light displays in Lubbock’s wealthier neighborhoods. (It was one of those you-had-to-be-there things.)

32 thoughts on “Merry Groin-Injury-mas

  1. I drew the ‘Both are awesome’ conclusion years ago (back when I was an angsty teenager, no less). Once in awhile I’ll come back to it, but the answer is always the same: Although MM3 holds more personal nostolgia, they are equally awesome.

  2. Ok, now this thing is just messing with me. I guess the thing i originally posted didn’t show up. Anyway, all I said was that my parents still enjoy driving around town looking at the lights the rich people put up. ‘Course, the only place that really counts is Belmont Street (memorable to me only because of its name).

  3. It’s funny that you did MM3 and Faxanadu writeups within days of each other…the two games will always be linked in my memory because one Christmas (can’t remember the year) my family traveled to Indiana to spend the holiday with my aunt and uncle and cousins. I knew I was getting MM3 for Christmas, but upon reaching their house and realizing my cousin already had MM3, I managed to play all the way through it and beat it the day before Christmas…which not surprisingly made the gift a little anti-climactic on Christmas day. Fortunately my cousin got Faxanadu for Christmas which we both played to death and managed to beat before I left a few days later.

    It’s funny, to this day if feels strange not getting a videogame for Christmas. I have many fond memories opening up a new game (FF3 stands out in this regard), and promptly heading up to my room and playing it all day until my mom yelled at me that I had to spend some time with the family.

  4. Funny storyÑ When I was twelve I STOLE Mega Man 3 from a neighbour, and it was not Christmas. Talk about nostalgia and a criminal past.

  5. Nice entry. MM3 was my first exprience with the series, and as such, it is the one to which the rest shall be compared. I’ve always thought the soundtrack remained unparalleled until the first X game (and none has been so good ever since). The cheats for the second controller were fun for the time, and no Robot Master felt as cool as Shadow Man. I like MM2 very much, but 3 has a special place in my nostalgic geeky heart.

  6. Wow, that Spanish box art is indeed awful. The looming face looks like the horrible, constipated love-child of Dr. Wily and Heihachi Mishima.

  7. Boo! That European cover is awesome! The best Megaman cover ever, I’d wager. Megaman looks really stylish in the blue and white getup (and much, much better than the US-styled version), and the robot masters are all in their authentic style instead of littered around the scenery in scrambled forms. Wily looks suitably creepy, and the dark tones and his human face both hide him in the background as well as separate him from both Megaman and the robot masters, highlighting their difference. The layout is perfect and the simple, abstract background is much better than any of the other US/Euro covers, perhaps with exception of the European Megaman 1 cover, with Jim Stewart starring as Megaman (fantastic).

  8. See, now you’re just being contrary for the hell of it. The Spanish box art is a sloppy tracing of the Japanese box with poor proportions and a floating Dr. Wily head drawn in a totally different style from the rest of the art. Poor Proto Man is just kind of dangling there at a weird angle, and I really hate that dog-buggery pose Mega Man and Rush are stuck in. Yick.

  9. …did you purposefully post a screenshot of Dr. Wily escaping in his craft right below “he so totally dies” just to bother me? …Cause it didn’t work.

  10. I stand by my opinion, and think the pose is a classic Megaman pose. Perhaps because that is the most memorable and classic Megaman game I had back in the day. It’s not a Spanish cover, it was used for the whole of Europe.
    Oh, and my bad: the European MM1 cover didn’t have Stewart, although it was pretty stylish by itself: . James Stewart graced the cover of the European Megaman 2: . However, it’s all good, I think those covers are pretty neat compared to their American counterparts. Can’t say for the Japanese ones, never having paid attention to them. I thought it was a loss when the European releases just used the US art from Megaman IV onwards.

  11. I just dreamt Parish and Josh Lucas, my former college buddies (now arch-enemies), challenged me to a duel in full southern accent. I held my own in the judo part, but I could not possibly expect to win against their superior skills in first person shooting games.

  12. It’s been my experience that half of the people claiming Mega Man 2 is superior to Mega Man 3 is because they are under the impression that Mega Man 2 added things like Sliding and Rush.

  13. I remember playing Megaman 3 at my family’s New Year’s Eve party. All the neighbor’s kids who were around were watching me ride on Rush with “waterfalls” of lava in the background.
    Anyone know what the heck level that could’ve been? I haven’t played that game in years…

  14. (Incidentally, Dr. Wily dies pretty convincingly at the end of MM3, which suggests that the series was intended to be a trilogy and that MM4 and everything after are actually just horrible lies. Another point in MM3’s favor.)

    Except, like Tomm mentioned, for the sight of Wily hovering in the distance at the end of the game. And this is to say nothing of Proto Man’s enigmatic introduction, which practically screams, “Buy the sequel! Coming soon!”

  15. I thought it was “harshin”, I need to go back and re-read the forums.
    I could never successfully pull off a jump in a Mega Man game, therefore they are dead to me. I do hear good things though.

  16. I think the US MM3 box art is being unfairly misinterpreted. The thing being zapped in the nether regions by Megaman, what is it doing? Its holding its arms in the air and they’re lighting up. If you were to see things from Megaman’s perspective, I think it would be painfully clear that this isn’t an act of taking out aggression by Megaman, but more of a sick perverted fettish by an insecure artist with a ragin libido who was probably some net-tard who spent all of his time obsessing on megaman writing perverted fan-fics and putting the 50 billion megaman artworks on deviant art. because when he wasn’t writing megaman fan-fics he was drawing pictures of megaman.

  17. I mean look at Rush’s face for chrissakes. That expression has pure wide-eyed ‘OMFGWTF!’ shock and awe written all over it.

  18. Moran: Back in the Mega Man 3 days that would have benn an ASCII art BBS pervert. Also, the type of person you describe, a net-tard, well, this people exist even before the Internet. Probably even since regular mail was invented thousands of years ago. So, they are just tards.

  19. “It’s been my experience that half of the people claiming Mega Man 2 is superior to Mega Man 3 is because they are under the impression that Mega Man 2 added things like Sliding and Rush.”

    Really? Sheesh. As one of the people on the Mega Man 2 side of the fence, I would just like to say that I have nothing to do with these people.

  20. Ok, I am convinced this is megaman bot porn. A fettish that could only a product of the burgeoning pervo-pr0n culture on the internets. But you’re saying, ‘hey, that doesn’t make sense. the internets didn’t exist then.’ Exactly. Its a time paradox. Just like in Metal Gear Solid 3. The US is just lucky the box art for MGS3 didn’t prominently feature super feminized Revolver Ocelot lolicon with assorted gay symbolism… No. That treatment was reserved for Raiden and Snake on the cover of MGS2:Substance. We got lucky with Subsistance. REALLY lucky.

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