Low-Bandwidth Edition

Hit the refresh keys, kids, there’s a new design going on at this here site. And since most of the design-y bits are background elements which tend to stay cached, you’re likely to end up with a really dopey-looking half-update if you don’t abuse that F5 key. (This concludes my annual attempt to speak to Windows users in their own language. Mac types: Command-R, STAT.) It’s an incredibly plain-looking design, but this is very intentional as I need to cut back on my bandwidth usage; this header single-handedly shaves about 90K off each page load. But actually my latent graphic designer training makes me all gushy about needless minialism and excessive white space, so whatever. I sort of like it, cheap as it may look.

Anyway. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t like to go to 1UP, because it’s slow or crashy or pop-up infested, or maybe just because you feel that avoiding corporate-owned websites is your way of violently sticking it to The Man, you’ll be happy to know I’ve been diligently archiving my bi-daily Retronauts blogs right here. You know, if that’s your kinda thing.

Oh yeah, and my girlfriend gets back from her two-week vacation in a little while, so I guess that’s probably the end of the Worst Ending series. Tragic reality: I was mainly doing it to kill time while she was out of town. Love is the death of creativity, it’s true. It was fun while it lasted, though (in a stupid sort of way).

27 thoughts on “Low-Bandwidth Edition

  1. Can we laugh if she says she enjoys them and makes you think up some more?
    Yeah, hope springs eternal. Make her feel welcomed back, if nothing else.

  2. So you’d rather spend time with your girlfriend rather than entertain us nerds with obscure humor? Oh…you BASTARD.

    Ah, well, at least your stopping while the “Worst Ending” series is in its prime, that way there will always be the memories or something like that.

  3. I’m somewhat disappointed that the frog hasn’t been inserted into some sort of Mortal Kombat scenario (“TOASTY!”) but it’s still pretty darn stylish. I forsee the match/frog logo trumping that stupid Ecko rhino in a matter of mere months.

  4. Top class. If you stare at the match graphic it starts to look like an eyeball (possibly an owl’s) shooting a laser beam.

  5. Any way we could get an RSS feed for your embedded version of the 1up blog? For those of us who want to avoid the slow, crashy, pop-up infested site, but still like to indulge in all the latest geek gadgetry. Pretty please?

  6. I once heard that a wive’s/girlfriend’s job is to take a man’s fun into the woods and shoot it. I guess the same goes for creativity.

    And the page does look spiffy in an I-don’t-feel-like-working-at-it kinda way.

  7. The above comment is true albiet missing the part where they leave you after they’ve sunk their fangs into your wallet and sucked it dry.

  8. Ironically, husbands and boyfriends cause nothing but inspiration and awesomeness.

    (I really like the new look, Parish.)

  9. I thought of doing a “hay its two miles til the next frog camp” but I figured it would be lame.

  10. Why is the header inciting people to burn frogs with matches, hmm? I always assumed Toastyfrog had something to do with toast but now I see the truth. I’m telling PETA.

  11. If you think setting frogs on fire is fun, wait till you try giving them cigarettes!

  12. Now that you mention it, this web page is missing Ralph Wiggum
    “And this is the web page with the frog that tells me to burn things!”

  13. animal husbandry is a pretty good early tech, but only if you have cows or sheep nearby. I think, given his geographical location, parish might be better suited to going towards the fishing-sailing-optics path, to exploit all the sea tiles around his city.

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