Worst Ending #2

No, really, this isn’t a series. I can’t really think of that many games with multiple endings, and I’ve played only a tiny fraction of them. Go on home, nothing more to see here.

It occured to me after I finished that the cereal kinda looks more like Lavos spikes than Crono hair, but I don’t think I should be held responsible for Toriyama’s fixation with pointy edges.

34 thoughts on “Worst Ending #2

  1. You’re going to hate me for saying it, but I’m liking this new drawing style of yours, jp.

    Oh, and the comic is highly amusing as well. ;-)

  2. well, Toriyama is far from the only guy in Japan to draw spiky hair. You’ll find the instakill-do as far back as on the Fighters from FF1 and as recently as on Naruto. And of course, there’s Cloud.

  3. Those O’s aren’t very…well, O-shaped are they? More like throat-slicingly triangular. Surely that’s false advertising, Mr. Parish?

  4. Wasn’t the “O’s” just a play on words, not the actual shape? You’re beeing to picky Citizen Meh.

  5. You can make a metroid ending comic! Where Samus takes her suit off, or doesn’t. It will be humorous.

  6. Yeah, C-3PO’s were more cinder-block shaped. Also: cinder-block flavored.
    I don’t really think Metroid’s single different graphic really qualifies as an “ending,” though.

  7. Metroid will never have an ending. Like most videogame series it is just sequel after sequel… never ending. Chrono Trigger on the other hand is a completely different story. The game actually ends. Chrono Cross is a completely different animal. I actually love the fact that Chrono Cross is not a sequel. It’s another game where some of the effects of the story of the first game are shown, but it’s not the main point of the game or even the gameplay. I hate sequels. I like Zelda though, each Link is always a different hero, Link is just a name for a hero character, but never the same character.

  8. Never say never, Mr. Firbank. I have been randomly selected as the Zelda Nerd to inform you that Zelda II, Link’s Awakening, the Seasons/Ages games, Majora’s Mask, and Phantom Hourglass all feature Links from previous Zelda games! (though Awakening and Seasons/Ages do not make it clear WHICH previous game they are from, they clearly state “after defeating Ganon…”)


  9. No matter how spikey it got, it couldn’t cut your mouth any worse than Cap’n Crunch.

    Speaking of which, i’m still waiting for Kingdom Crunch, the Final Fantasy/Breakfast Cereal crossover game. “Sora weilds the mysterious spoonblade with his friends the Trix Rabbit and Lucky the Lephrechan as they fight the evil Crunchless and search for the missing Cap’n Crunch.” The thing practically writes itself.

  10. Crunchless = Soggies

    I would so totally play a game with a bunch of cereal characters in it like that. Closest we got was Chex Quest I believe. I love cereal.

  11. “Crunchless = Soggies” Aw, beaten to it. I guess I weathered the commercials of the ’80s for nothing.
    Also, this comic isn’t really a new art style for me. It’s the same crappy art style as usual, sans blending and anti-aliasing to put its fundamental mediocrity into perspective.

  12. If you’re looking for games with multiple endings, Disgaea had a ton of them. Not that I’d ever be able to stand the grind again to see a second one.

  13. TheSL: Do what I did: get really drunk, powerlevel Laharl, and then KILL EVERYTHING in a weekend.
    I can’t REMEMBER most of the endings, but the buddy who was keeping me from electrocuting myself said about 50% of them weren’t even “endings”, just “make you start a New Game+ file” scenes.

  14. You need a Metal Gear Solid comic. I can’t think of a worse ending than Snake and Otacon riding the snowmobile into the sunset. And Meryl dying was pretty bad, too, I guess.

  15. *tsk* people are so quick to remember the Soggies…
    Is there no love for the Sogmaster? =(
    Actually, if you look at the Cron-O’s box just right, it looks more like an Akuma head in a cereal bowl.

  16. you see, this is why Captain Crunch fulfills the King Mickey role nicely. The gum-cutting old bastard has a habit of disappearing and forcing children to find him. And the silhouette of his hat makes a nice mouse ears stand-in.

  17. Lou Firbank: “Chrono Cross is a completely different animal. I actually love the fact that Chrono Cross is not a sequel.”

    CHRONO CROSS SPOILERS (as if there was anything actualy worth spoiling)
    Oh the irony, that’s why I absolutely loathe Chrono Cross.
    Actually, the game itself isn’t so bad, but I hate it because the so-called ‘best’ ending wherein you use the Chrono Cross to destroy the final boss was more like a swift kick to the groin then an actual ending. Thusly, in turn the whole game felt like a complete waste of time.

    The only game to my memory to pull off the ‘It was all a dream’/’you will forget everything’ style-ending to this day is SMB2.
    Point in fact, if memory serves SMB2 establishes from the get go that it’s a dream in Mario’s head.

    Alternatively, the pinnacle of rpg sequels is easily Suikoden II. Completely new story, hero, and setting, but rife with returning characters and a plot that ties in with the first, yet not requiring knowledge of the first game’s story to be fully appriciated. That’s how you do an rpg sequel.

  18. I didn’t notice it before, but I particularly enjoy the small Soylent Green gag you threw in there. Nice touch.

  19. So much anger, Torgo… especially since Lunar 2 did everything Suiko2 does better, and first.

  20. Everything he mentioned, Lunar 2 did first. If he’d mentioned the combo attacks I would have had no case, but he didn’t! FTW.

  21. You can’t forget that Arc the Lad did the whole “Completely new story, hero, and setting, but rife with returning characters and a plot that ties in with the first, yet not requiring knowledge of the first game’s story to be fully appriciated” thing, too.

  22. I have decided that this comments section is missing the following comment:

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