Number of the whatever

Man, so maybe today really is evil. Like, I got to the office and found a copy of the new EGM in which I had apparently succumbed to some sort of delirium and penned an upbeat article on Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I don’t even remember that. Must have been my vile doppelganger — the same one who sent me a cryptic and vaguely satanic message last night from my own email account.

But what really has me convinced of today’s inherent menace is that my bus ride to work today was pretty much the epitome of the worst possible SF MUNI experience: a vagrant got on the bus at an early point on the line and decided to regale us with his raspy obscenities and even more obscene odor. I can still smell it, lingering on my clothes, an hour later. (For those not familiar with the aroma, it’s like being dumped in a vat of wet, elderly dogs, then drowned in stale urine. Seriously. I may not have an appetite today.) Then some dude decided to reenact that scene from Star Trek IV where the guy blasts rap on the bus and Spock nerve-pinches him into submission, except we didn’t have any Vulcans on hand to soothe our poor, violated ears. And the last time I tried nerve-pinching someone they ended up dead, which causes all kinds of annoying legal issues I don’t have time to deal with today.

And when I got off the bus, our friend Frank Chu was standing there, staring at me. In his, uh, LETSPHRENETICAL way.

I don’t know about you guys but I’m having a tall glass of holy water for lunch.

9 thoughts on “Number of the whatever

  1. Crazy homeless dudes! I get to see them all day long at my job, day after day! As Mario would say: “Lucky!” I totally know that smell you speak of. I’ve actually had to ask people to leave because their smell was offensive to other library patrons. And by offensive I mean “vomit-inducing.”

    So NCS is taking preorders for Super Paper Mario, shipping 8/3. Um… hmmm… to buy the import or to wait until NoA decides they actually want to release another Gamecube game… hmmm…

  2. Boy do I have bus stories to tell. Like the guy that sprays 409 on the floor in random intervals and then immediately pours salt on the same spot.

    Oh, and I’d be carefule with the holy water. Everybody sticks their fingers in that thing. Licking the vagrant may be more sanitary. You know, you should just drink some of that communion wine to be safe.

    Wouldn’t it be neat if something special would happen on our PC’s for January 10, 2011? Binary geeks unite! *cough* I’m done.

  3. Today was awesome. The entire network fell down at work and since we can’t do shit without computers we spent like 5 hours doing almost nothing. I bet the IT guy that got fired had it pretty rough, but for the rest everything was fucking amazing.

  4. It wasn’t rap it was 80’s-ish punk “and I hate you! and I be-RATE you…” and so forth.

Comments are closed.