A narrow escape

Thankfully, the site is alive after all. I’m not entirely convinced of its ability to withstand record numbers of nerds pinging the server come Wednesday, but we’ll see. The fact that it’s even running right now is like sweet, sweet kickassohol to me, because it means I didn’t come to L.A. to stare into a blank void of depression.

A lot of seemingly substantial rumors about secret games are beginning to leak from the rusty bucket that is the media. Stuff like WarioWare Wii, which is, you know, hardly surprising — seriously, as if Nintendo would say “WELP we have this neat new controller, but I don’t really see the point in putting it to use for a series of quirky microgames perfectly suited to its unique functionality!” — and stuff like a U.S. version of Ossu! Tatakae! Ouendan!, which is considerably more unexpected. Sadly, the rules of NDA mean that I can neither confirm nor deny rumors that it’s coming under the name “Elite Beat Agents” and that it’s been given entirely new scenarios and music, making it effectively a sequel to one of the best games on DS. Neither can I confirm that these theoretical new scenarios and music appear to be every bit as compelling as those in the original Japanese version of the game.

I am authorized, however, to confirm that people whining about these ostensible changes due to some innate belief that everything Japanese is inherently better are complete idiots who need to be taken out and beaten.

With bamboo rods, of course, because blunt objects of an Asian origin deliver superior beatings to American cudgels.

16 thoughts on “A narrow escape

  1. Well, one must admit that, in the past, the occasional re-tooling of bizarre Japanese games to appeal to some mythical “American sensibilities” has not always gone well. So given only the information that the music is all new, some fears might not be totally unfounded.

    However, in the face of more recent information (er, strong insinuations anyways) that the new content totally rocks, I am, as they say, down with that. It is a shiny new world we live in indeed, where publishers have become convinced that US audiences may be able to deal with wierd-yet-fun nonsense if it has good gameplay. Thank you, Katamari and Wario Ware.

  2. Two words: Donkey Konga
    Seriously, did we really need “Row row row your boat” and “The itsy bitsy spider” in a game that was (supposively) made for all ages? That is the number one example that NoA can’t handle the localization of music games.

  3. Most intriguing. I was already planning on importing Ouendan, but then I started to hear these rumblings of a domestic release. Now, knowing that–should the rumors be true, of course–we’re essentially getting a whole new game, it sounds like the thing to do is import anyway and still buy the North American version. Double the Ouendan certainly sounds good to me.

  4. Are the original Ouendan designers doing this US sequel? If they are, I don’t think I’ll have a problem with it being “Americanized.”

    Although it depends on the music they pick. At least with the Jpn version, most of the music was new to me. If they pick music that is the stuff they play on repeat tracks 24/7 here with the same songs playing 5-6 times every 30 minutes, I probably won’t have as much fun with it.

  5. “…that it’s been given entirely new scenarios and music, making it effectively a sequel to one of the best games on DS.”

    KICK ASS. Well, in a neither confirmed or denied sort of way. ;-)

  6. I don’t think the Donkey Konga analogy fits. To play a Japanese version of Donkey Konga, you’d need either a Japanese Gamecube or at the very least some sort of disk swap utility. All you need to play the Japanese version of Ouendan is a DS. Hell, importing isn’t even all that big a deal since lik sing sells stuff for pretty much the same price (if not cheaper) that you’ll find in Japan.

    I’m all for new songs in an already fantastic game.

  7. Rycar, how does it not fit? I was just giving of an example of how well NoA handles “Americanization” of music games. i.e. poorly

  8. “With bamboo rods, of course, because blunt objects of an Asian origin deliver superior beatings to American cudgels.”
    Actually, I believe they use rattan rods when they get their caning on in Singapore. Anyway, yeah, complaining that we’re not getting a direct translation of Ouendan is so incredibly stupid, because the original version is already out there for everyone to import. Why would they want the same thing all over again, rather than a new game? Idiots.

  9. Oooh, English Ouendan, so who’s your bet on for licensing, Sum41 or Blink182?

  10. But why? It’s a rhythm game. You tap little numbered circles to the beat of music. You don’t need to be fluent in Japanese to figure it out.

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