Now that traffic due to my uncomfortably infamous Final Fantasy VII review has subsided and dropped back as close to normal as I’m likely to see ever again, I’ve posted the obvious follow-up. Now your duty is:

• Become deeply indignant that I’ve presumed to present my opinion in such a forward fashion. How dare I;
• Post a lengthy diatribe in the comments about what a horrible sub-human monster I am; and finally,
• Never, ever link to it.

You’ll be graded on your diatribes; personal assaults and disdainful aspersions on my professionalism are a good start, but I’m looking for real creativity. Bonus points for self-contradictory complaints, especially if they accuse me of such by building a strict, reductivist strawman version of what I actually wrote. But no clichés, please; Hilter comparisons are an automatic failing grade.

You have 30 minutes… go.

Edit: I have to say, J-Pizzle wins the prize for best response to the FFVII review (in the form of commentary for his latest comic). Passive-aggressive and subtly insulting. Not to mention the product of cojones los metales, since he reports to me.

Well played, John… you’re fired.