One last dribble of Wii

I wrote a thing about Wii over at that other site. It’s a little pithier than I really intended; usually Speaking Ups are supposed to be… well, not quite dry, but certainly less tongue-in-cheek than this. I suspect that this sort of flippancy may in fact be an unavoidable side-effect of the name Wii. Yes, I’m blaming Nintendo here rather than my own weakness. It’s America, I’m allowed to expect others to bear the burden of my failings.

Those jerks The fine people over at The Gamer’s Quarter have enhanced and appended the grand list of Metroidvanias, all while shaking their fists at me angrily for including Clash At Demonhead despite its hub-map design. To which I can only reply: Clash at Demonhead is awesome, so who cares? See, this isn’t Wikipedia or some damn thing, so I can be as unprofessional as I want. Well, I guess that is kind of like Wikipedia, come to think of it. But I don’t pretend otherwise. So yeah. Anyway, I’m almost finished with my replay/note-taking of Metroid: Zero Mission. One down, several dozen to go.

30 thoughts on “One last dribble of Wii

  1. Ha, since my native language is spanish I didn’t realize why people were making fun of Wii until I read the part about Wii being similar to Wee which is another english word for “pipí”. When I think of Wii I think of Weeeeeeeeeee! As in “This is fun! Weeeeeeeeee!”.

    At least it’s better than XBOX 360 which sounds like a show hosted by a closet gay news reporter.

  2. I think that’s “Wheee!”. With an “H” in there. Kohler’s take on the subject made me rethink that urinating part, anyway. Now I actually think “Wee” was a good call. Damn.

  3. You tell ’em! Clash at Demonhead was one of the first few NES games I ever owned, and I spent quite a bit of time getting confused over where to go. Just like castlevania.

  4. Anyway, I’ll only buy any new console if it has a survival cowboy (not horror) game for it featuring a soundtrack with music from Henry Mancini and Ennio Morricone. Ooops, gues what! THERE WILL NEVER BE ONE! Wii! Plus, the heroes have to look like Steve McQueen and Clint Eastwood! And it has to be called something like “Gun.Smoke 2”. Hint: I’ve been dreaming all night with a game like this! Shit, why no one likes cowboys anymore!

  5. I think the reason I’m including Demonhead in the list and not something like Zelda II or Bionic Commando is that the map sections in Demonhead don’t feel like levels as much as just parts of a bigger world (very little structure, rarely have bosses at the end). Hm, yeah, that actually kinda works.

  6. Both your list and the gamersquarter thread omitted Pitfall II, originally for the Atari 2600 and later ported to several other systems (I first played it on a Tandy CoCo 2 computer,) which pretty much invented the genre. Might be something you should correct one of these days.

  7. He said he’s not including games for pre-NES systems. Even though the original Castlevania game for MSX was closer to this variety than to its linear sequels.

  8. Hey Parish, we weren’t shaking our fists at you, we were shaking out fists with you. It’s okay.

  9. HAHAHAH! They listed Popful Mail on there! LOLOLOLOLO! Dude, even if that game plays just like a castlevania/metroid hybrid, that game is totally not played inside a single contiguous 2d environment! FOOL YOU! A STUPID IS THEM! This is what happens when you don’t research your topics! If you were serious about this stuff, crap like this would be a sucky boring chore like HOMEWORK.

  10. I don’t see how Maze of Galious falls under debatable, because Blaster Master, which is also split up into levels in a way, is included as a proper entry.

  11. Even though the original Castlevania game for MSX was closer to this variety than to its linear sequels.

    The original Castlevania game was the linear FDS/NES one, released in Japan on September 26, 1986. The MSX one was released a month later on October 30. The widespread misconception that the MSX one came first stems from the fact that it was promptly localized in Europe in 1986, while the FDS version didn’t make it to the West until 1987.

  12. Maze of Galious is “debatable” because I haven’t played it yet and need to categorize it for myself. I appreciate the input from everyone but I kinda wish people would take this a little less seriously. It’s just a silly little thing I am doing here, you know?

  13. But, Parish, Clash at Demonhead is POV! POV! DAMMIT! Also, you forgot Lord of the Sword for Master System. :P

  14. I think I forgot one of the Wizards & Warrior games, too. And maybe I should have a subcategory called “Isometroid” for games like Scurge: Hive and Solstice.
    Or not. I just like the word “isometroid.”

  15. As a matter of fact, you did, Wizards and Warriors III was just one huge 2D dungeon action/adventure game. It’s the only Wizards and Warriors game for which I own the actual cartdrige. Pretty amazing the way you travel through the town and the palace and the uderground dungeons and everything is conected in this huge map. Amazing. Also, the series ends with a cliffhanger, Kuros travels to the future.

  16. Oh Jeremy, you know there are people who take video games way too seriously. Did you actually think this topic would be any different from every other one?
    “Kuros travels to the future.” Where he becomes the spokesman for a brand of margarine that claims to be identical to real butter. No wonder they haven’t made a sequel to Wizards & Warriors.

  17. I contend that any further adventures of Kuros will be a blatant ripoff of Samurai Jack.
    …well, I can only assume the time portal was Malkil’s doing. You can never be sure when your main antagonist spends the entire battle flying around like an airplane and throwing Spiny Eggs.

  18. Didn’t Kuros die when a goose flew into his face?
    Oh no wait… My bad. He was transported into a horrible 30-minute long weekday morning animated Acclaim commercial with some dude from Narc, a token black guy, bigfoot (the car), a talking tomato, and Johnny Arcade.

  19. Popful Mail was for Sega CD, not Genesis. And where’s Wonder Boy in Monster World? (I suppose Monster World IV doesn’t count, since it’s essentially level-based, though it’s easily the best game in the series.)

    Anyway, Hebereke/Ufouria for NES should definitely be on here.

  20. So…how much sleep do you get at night? Replaying though all the “Metroidvania” games. Damn.

    On a side note, the rising gas prices have prompted me to get a public transportation pass and ride the trolley to work. Nowhere near as efficient as the BART…let alone the Japanese subway system…but I figure it’ll give me an hour or so of handheld gaming time every day.

  21. Damn Moran. Weren’t the jokes bad enough without involving Video Power? I think that’s going too far on the awfulness scale. Like many traumatic things I had forgotten Video Power ever existed – until you mentioned it again (thanks a lot). Apparently the “token black guy” was a basketball player from Arch Rivals. That’s really who I want with me when I’m fighting crime or villains … or for attention for Acclaim’s games.

  22. “Maze of Galious is “debatable” because I haven’t played it yet and need to categorize it for myself. I appreciate the input from everyone but I kinda wish people would take this a little less seriously. It’s just a silly little thing I am doing here, you know?”

    Gotcha. Hopefully it’ll show up in Virtual Console form. Seems like a solid little game from what I’ve played.

    Is it just me though being miserly at the shops or something, or is Clash at Demonhead a little frustrating?

  23. speaking of marketing mostly to japanese people, what is the reation over there? I heard on joystiq it wasn’t actually overly positive either (osnap)

    You are right though, I will be getting the thing, I only had to look at the list of confirmed titles to restablish my excitement for the console. I imagine a lot of non-gamers will too if they can get over the name.

  24. WAIT A MINNIT! Isn’t Rambo on the NES one of these so called ‘metrovania’ games? And wasn’t NES Rambo made by Acclaim? WHY WASN’T RAMBO WASN’T ON THE METROVAINIA LIST OR JOHNNY ARCADE’S POWER TEAM?!?! ARGH!!

  25. I miss the days when Metroidvania was called action/adventure platformer. And, yes, I’m super-old, honey.

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